I have been seperated from my ex now for one year. I broke it off f because he was jealous and unhappy. He is a good person and we connect and understand each other and he is my best friend in the whole world, but he suffers with anxiety and depression and he has never made any steps to try to help himself. I attempted to help him by doing many things with him, like taking him skydiving and trying new things to get him excited about life, but nothing worked. I told him that if he wanted to keep me around that he was going to have to get help, but he didnt do it so I left him. I am now doing very well in life and have a new boyfriend who is wonderful to me, but I cannot stop thinking about my ex. I love him and miss him very much and have recently found out that he has recently been seeing a therapist and joined a support group for people that suffer with anxiety and depression. He is a very stubborn personand I have hard time visualizing him changing. What should I do?
2007-02-11 15:26:24 · 17 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think just because you still think about him alot and are concerned about his well-being doesn't mean you are still in "love" with him...you just sound like a sweet caring person. As for what you should do...I think you answered your own question in your question......"I am now doing very well in life and have a new boyfriend who is wonderful to me.." to quote. If I may offer some advice......you aren't responsible in any way, shape, or form for what someone else chooses to do. Worry about yourself first...make sure you are happy...how can you love someone else if you can't love yourself.....same goes for him.....he needs to love himself before he can really love you.....right??
2007-02-11 15:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have feelings for both.That is absolutely unfair to your current boyfriend.Why did you get into a relationship when it seems that you haven't really moved on from your ex? Get over your ex (that's why it is called ex because it is in the past) If your boyfriend is kind and loves you truly,and worth loving then give him what he deserve.Or you might wanna lose another ex and ended up repeating the same situation again.
2016-03-29 02:59:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat kind of, My wife and I have been seperated since July and the girl I'm dating is wonderful in every way. My wife and I split because she thought I was jealous and unhappy and it pretty much devastated me when it happened and I'm still very confused about the whole thing. What ever you saw in your husband that made you fall in love with him in the first place still comes to the surface every once in a while I imagine. Now if you don't have any children I would tell you to just avoid any contact with him and try to move on. It seems you want to by your having a new boyfriend. But if you have children with your ex it's more difficult and that's a whole other issue that could go on for hours upon hours.
2007-02-11 15:47:48 · answer #3 · answered by yuenglingman1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone. He is just getting his life together and making a new start trying to work out who he is. You aren't part of him getting better, you've said that already - you tried everything and nothing worked. He is doing something about his life and trying to be happy. Why, if you really love him are you trying to butt in on that?
Be happy with your own life. Love your boyfriend. Seriously, everything would just slot back to what it was before if you don't let your ex get on with sorting himself out. Concentrate on what's happening in your new relationship that's not working for you.
2007-02-11 15:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by Jacey S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is fair that your in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man that treats you good but yet your still in love with your ex. Probably when you left him that is maybe one of the reasons why he didn't attempt to get help about his depression. I would consider going with him as a friend. As for the wonderful guy in your life it's just not fair for him that his gf is not giving her heart to him too.
2007-02-11 15:32:54 · answer #5 · answered by Au-Ryte 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot go on living a lie with you boyfriend. If you have any feelings for him you should stop seeing him now and admit you love someone else. Better he's hurt now because the longer you leave it the worse it will be. Then get in touch with ex and tell him how you feel.
2007-02-11 15:30:45 · answer #6 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your current boyfriend's sake, come clean. If your feelingsfor your ex are that strong, break up with him.
As for the ex, I wouldn't rush into a relationship with him again. If his willingness to help himself really completes him and makes him a better match for you then maybe you should give him a chance. Right now, however, you're being unfair to your current relationship and yourself.
2007-02-11 15:33:35 · answer #7 · answered by lostinne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say move on and forget about him. He seems to mixed up. Yes he may be getting help now but what about down the road? If your not in love with your boyfriend then maybe you should let him go and start fresh.
2007-02-11 15:29:52 · answer #8 · answered by chemky1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This actually sounds very familiar.
I recommend giving him space to pursue his own path to self improvement. If you try to get back with him you may actually interfere with his improvement despite your good intentions. Move on and wish the best for your old friend.
2007-02-11 15:38:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you found out that your ex is getting help for anxiety.....im guessing is because he wants u back! dont u think? why else would he get help...? i think u should try calling him. I think your current borfriend doesnt deserve this. Hes been wonderful to u and u dont love him back beacuse u still love your ex. Thats unfair.
2007-02-11 15:34:44 · answer #10 · answered by cute6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋