My little cousin and sister just spilled my perfume, eye-makeup remover, bodyspray, hairspray, and ruined my mascara and eyeliner. Now I have to go and buy all that stuff and I really don`t have the money right now....
Can you tell me some funny jokes to help me feel better...??
thanx
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2007-02-11 15:19:22 · 13 answers · asked by E-V 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
2007-02-11 15:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by God loves you 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Someone forwarded this to me and I thought it was funny. An airplane was about to crash. There were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes - The 1st passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, and I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of a former U.S. President, a NY State Senator and a potential future president. And I am the smartest woman in American history, so America's people don't want me to die." She took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane. The 3rd passenger, Ted Kennedy said I am a US Senator, the democratic party needs me and my liver still has some good years left So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped. The 4th passenger, Billy Graham, said to the 5th passenger, a 10 year old schoolgirl, "I am old and frail and don't have many years left, and as a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The girl said, "That's okay. There's a parachute left for you. America's smartest woman took my schoolbag.
2016-05-23 23:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Questions..........about many things in Life......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all ACME, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
2007-02-11 16:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
A man worked near old man house the old man didn't Marriage
the man listen a sound like he kissing a woman than he call the police when the police open the door he saw him eating a watere melon.
2007-02-11 18:23:16 · answer #4 · answered by lovely girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get drunk. The giraffe passes out on the floor. The man goes to leave and the barman says, "Oye! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man says, "It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."
2007-02-11 16:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aww, too bad for you!
A blond walked into a store and she saw a tv, she went to the register and asked to buy it the man said "I'm sorry, we can't sell that tv to a blond." She went back home and dyed her hair black, she came back and said. "I'd like to buy this tv." The man said "I'm sorry, we can't sell that tv to a blond" She sighed. "How did you know I was blond?" She asked. "Because that's a toaster." He said.
How do you kill a blond?-Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool and tell her to smell it!
2007-02-11 15:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by Dragonfreak 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How do you drownd a blond? Scroll down
put snatch and sniff at the bottom of the ppool
2007-02-14 07:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think that's bad!!?? When I got home from work, I found that my dog chewed up my TV remote control, now, every time she passes gas, the channel changes.
2007-02-11 15:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What did the blonde say when she saw a cheerio, "oh, look a doughnut seed
How did the blonde try to kill......
a fish- by drowning it
a bird-by throwing it off a cliff
Best luck and wishes! hope your blue mood cheers up after my jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-11 15:38:35 · answer #9 · answered by all about me!!! 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
oh man! i'm sorry! maybe this will cheer you up...."a little kidnergardner asked the teacher if she could go to the bathroom.the teacher said,only if you recite the alaphabet first.ok the kid said,abcdefghijklmno qrstuvwxyz. the teacher asked where did the p go? and the kid said ITS RUNNING DOWN MY LEG!!!
2007-02-11 15:28:36 · answer #10 · answered by heidi k 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋