MY HUSBAND DON'T LISTION TO ME.WHATEVER HE EARND HE GAVE EVERY THING TO HIS PARENTS,SISTERAND BROTHER.DON'T SAVE FOR HIS FUTRE.IF I TELL HIM THEN HE SAID 'I EARN MONEY SO I SPEND IT ANYWHERE AS MY WISH'.SO SHOULD HAVE I DONE FOR IT.
2007-02-11 15:17:42 · 13 answers · asked by sanghamitra d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have seven little letters for you. D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Household assets are shared by both spouses in most states and you should have some say as to how finances are handled. I understand that many cultures have an expectation for family to help out family and I don't think this is a bad thing at all (generosity begins at home) but there's nothing wrong with you wanting to be able to have financial security for the future. If you can't come to a compromise, get your half of the assets in divorce court. You should both be able to make decisions together. If you can't your relationship isn't worth saving.
2007-02-11 15:48:31 · answer #1 · answered by SDTerp 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is possible that in early life they did too much for him and he wants to repay. It seems that you are exaggerating his spendthiftness. First offer him sympathy and then try to win his heart. He must be saving something for you too. Your name must have figured in LIC and other savings. Let him earn much so that he gives it to everyone including you.
However, he should guard himself against some kind of emotional blackmailing. If that is the case then you make your views known, but do this not by antagonising him, but by gentle persuasion. Also you can involve yourself in earning schemes.
But if you straightaway begin to act as his mummy then he will react violently. Analyse yourself carefully. See whether you are not getting jealous over his indulgence to his parents.
If you are fairly convinced that he is on wrong track then seek legal remedy. But once you have done that your married life would be ruined. You cannot hold on lease a two-footed animal.Gentle persuasion and tact are the only recourse for you.
2007-02-11 16:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by Ishan26 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What if you had a brother and his wife would think similarly? Just think about this and now do you think that your husband is doing the wrong thing?
Well as for your problem, his family is also important, we in india are not like the west where everyone is financially independent and family members meet on special occasions. Just explain to him that tomorrow you willhave kids has he thought about them too. Tell him that you know that family is important and you respect what he's doing but shouldn't he save something for his future. I think he'll understand if you try explaining by supporting his view point but if you attack or criticise him it won't work.
2007-02-13 05:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Santosh S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your husband gives his entire pay packet to your in-laws without a single penny allotted to you. Savings are important in our lives, but only after we have met essential expenses. When parents grow old and infirm they look upto their able earning children for financial support and upkeep. In spending for his dependent parents, sister and brother, he is performing the duties of a responsible son in the great Indian tradition. In trying to control his justified expenses you are displaying pettiness and meanness. So his retort is not out of place. Try to think properly and correct yourself accordingly.
2007-02-12 01:50:39 · answer #4 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.may be you can influence his mother...
2. i think by your love for him only you can work on your hubby trying to understand from him his logic for his actions and what he thinks about how his future will be taken care of. People behave the way they do because of how they interpret and understand what is happening around them, which can differe fromperson to person.
3. Divorce, according to me is the last unavoidable resort, that too if you can manage your life on your capacity to earn money(only depending on alimony for your livelihod is the greatest risk in India,especially when the regular payment stops in a year or two and you have to go to court to fight for justice)
2007-02-11 18:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by grandpa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pester your husband. Keep quiet and watch patiently. Is he providing you everything? Try to win his heart with your goodness and don't ever try to stop him spending over his parents or sisters. Alongwith you,all of them are so dear to him,then how can you stop him? Husband is not the sole property of the wife. He is somebody's son, brother etc. So try to see the world with an open heart. If your husband is not earning, how can he spent? Since he is earning, he is spending. Don';t break your heart,you try to enjoy your life with the earnings of your husband.
2007-02-11 18:09:29 · answer #6 · answered by VP K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That order is in basic terms somewhat bit paper so be careful. Bullies pay interest to it in basic terms while it fits them. the final element you're able to do for your self and you're young infants is exchange your e mail, your telephone huge form and have somebody else be the "risk-free" guy or woman to drop off your infants with him so which you do no longer see him in any respect. and by no ability decrease than any circumstances communicate trash on your infants approximately their dad despite if he does it approximately you. purely say to them. i'm sorry your dad is announcing issues that make you experience unhappy. it is not genuine and understand that i such as you frequently. they're going to be certain which parent truly cares via their strikes. be careful and be watchful and checklist something he does despite if that is small and you think of of no importance. He needs to get to you. do no longer permit him do it. dropping means over you is what's driving him good now. He needs it lower back and could do what he has to get it. he's the two sane sufficient to ultimately lower back off or he's not.. you realize interior which guy or woman he's.
2016-09-28 23:59:38 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant control a husband. so let him do wht he does. if u argue or fight he may hate u n will still do wht he wants. u will become a bad person here. so dont do anything whn he faces the responsibility of his children then he will think abt thm n save for their future. even after having children he wont save for their future thn u can never change him. but mostly husbands think abt their childrens future. dont force him into anything. ok all the best for ur future.
2007-02-14 03:33:44 · answer #8 · answered by ahsu254 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, tell him that it is not a compulsion for him to do that..
try to tell him in a more conviencing manner that you are not saying to keep all the money for himself..do everything for your family..but, also at the same time you should save some money to secure your future..
savings are a must..
2007-02-12 01:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by ruprekhawati 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he misuse that money then you should interfere in it otherwise co-operate with him. How your husband behave with you, if his not co-operate with you then you can think about your future. you should remembered him regarding his ACTH taking in time of marriage. then leave him he can understood day by day when he facing the family problems
2007-02-13 21:25:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋