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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and about 1 mth ago we were arguing over when we thought our anniversary was. I was still married, but separated when we 1st started dating we went out on our first date Oct. 10 which I consider our anniversary. I got my divorce papers Vday so he considers that our anniversary he said it made us official, so I went along with him. So with Vday just around the corner I got a lottle excited so I started making plans on getting a new sexy dress, tan , get my nails done all of the good stuff but all I could think about was his reaction and expression when he seen me all dressed up (which never happens I'm 22 a mother of 3 all ages 4 and under) So 2day I ask him 2 go 2 the mall with me 2 get a dress and he could get an outfit also but he said the most hurtful thing 2 me he said that I didnt need a dress the restuarant was casual it was just another day and he just made reservations at a friends restaurant because he got a free gift certificate

2007-02-11 15:03:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Weddings

9 answers

So what do you need advice with? What to do about your un-romantic dude? Well....

Given that the start of the relationship was less than auspicious (after all you were still married at the time), maybe he does not take the relationship seriously. Or he does not seem to. My wife and I have four dates that we remember: When we met, when we started dating, our civil wedding ceremony, and our religious wedding ceremony. Which one is more important? None of them, really. It really boils down to the everyday stuff.

For example: VDay is still a few days away, but I just made brownies tonight because she has a lot of work to do still for the coming week, and I knew she'd need the morale booster. And it takes only a half hour of my time, and we both have a treat to last several days. Not to mention, she feels like she's being spoiled. But all it takes is a box mix, some water, and an egg.

As for VDay, why go to a restaurant at all? Everything will be crowded. Better just call it off, or get take-out and have a living-room picnic. (Be sure to get the kids to your mom's/his mom's for the evening). If you want to get all snazzied up, go for it. He'll realize that he's the one screwing up when he looks like a slob and you're dressed to the nines. But be sure to have the meal organized so that HIS plan is ruined. Let him sweat for that one. And then, see if he tries to make it up to you. See if he cleans up and sets the mood for later on. But I guess what you should observe for is if he's setting the mood for HIS tastes...or yours.

In a few days you should ask him which will be the important date he wants to observe, and write it down somewhere that you can bring back as proof. On this day you said the important date would be this other date. And hold him to it forevermore.

Let's see if he can recover gracefully from his several faux-pas. You keep score, and let him know how he did.

2007-02-11 15:21:21 · answer #1 · answered by anon 5 · 0 1

Well maybe you should of told him first what you were going to do before you surprised him,but honestly I would've done the same thing you did.At least he put thought into making reservations for you guys. My boyfriend said the same thing V - Day is just like any other day and at first I didn't get it, 'cause I always thought V- Day was some thing special,but now I'm beginning to see it in my boyfriend's eyes, every day should be Valentine's Day,'cause no matter what day it is you shouldn't have to prove your love to someone you should show them love and be caring and really attracted to your loved one no matter what day. I understand you have three children and that can become hectic,so my advice would be find a baby sitter and plan a date night. Good luck....

2007-02-11 23:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by Blue eyed girl 2 · 1 0

A mother of 3 under the age of 4 needs a vacation, not just a night out!

He might have something planned & is trying to throw you off the trail but then, you know him better than I do. Dress in between, not really casual but not all gussied-up either. And I would tell him that he hurt your feelings.

2007-02-11 23:25:55 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1 0

You can still get dressed up, but maybe not as much as you would for a "fancy" place. Funny how some guys can be about vday. Maybe you can plan somehthing for the two of you. like go to a bed 'n breakfast. Tell him how you feel.

2007-02-11 23:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by carriec 7 · 1 0

men forget the important dates. try refreshing his memory, i would still dress up, i have young children like you, and i know the chances to dress up and feel sexy are few and far between, i'd make the most of a nice night out.
you never know he may have something else planned.
and if he doesn't i'd deny him the valentines day nookie, that should help him remember it next year.... :-)

2007-02-12 05:23:10 · answer #5 · answered by frost7216 3 · 1 0

That doesn't sound hurtful, it sounds factual, but burst your bubble because you had high hopes for a romantic day.
Get your nails done do your tan anyway. And maybe buy a less dressy dress.

2007-02-11 23:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1 0

Get all jazzed up anyway, if he doesn't like it, tough!

It may have been hurtful, but it IS true that it is just another day.

At least he IS doing something with you that day.

2007-02-12 08:24:34 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0 0

go ahead and get dressed up. go to the restaurant he picked. maybe he has something special planned.

2007-02-11 23:12:19 · answer #8 · answered by catwoman 3 · 1 0

What did you want advice about? Be grateful that he is taking you out at all!

2007-02-12 07:36:18 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1 0

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