how to get rid of my boyfriend?

Answer 1

Just start dating me ;) but seriously you have a choice of the cold shoulder and just not talking to him, treating him like crap so that he dumps you, or just telling him your pregnant....another joke....maybe.

Answer 2

If you've been with him for only a short time, start talking excessively about how many kids you want, what you want to name them, and how you can't wait to have kids and then just "let go" and get all fat and nasty and stay home and cook.

Tell him you're tired of taking showers multiple times a week and when you have kids you'll be able to relax and limit it to every couple of weeks or so.

Tell him that you have decided that sex is a sin except for the purposes of reproducing.

Question him every where he goes. If he is so much as 30 seconds late, ask him where he was and why he didn't call to let you know that he is alright.

Ask him if you are a better cook than his mom.

Ask him if you can have a three-some with him and his dad.

Tell him that you want him to be circumcised. If he already is, tell him you want him to have it done again.

Tell him you want to buy a house together. Insist on all the finest luxuries in the house, but also insist that it be in the worst part of town.

Ask him to buy you a hearse.

Ask him why he doesn't buy you flowers more often, even if he bought you flowers just yesterday.

Constantly tell him that he smells funny and needs a shower.

Tell him you want to reinact the first scene of "Basic Instinct" with him.

Tell him you wish he was bald. When he cuts off his hair, ask him why he would do something so stupid and that it looks terrible.

Accuse him of checking out the cashier at the store. Especially if the cashier is male.

Tell him you want to become a nun.

Tell him you want to become a porn star, but he's not cut out for it and that you don't want him to watch because you'd be embarrassed.

Tell him his privates are way too small and that you are afraid they'll get stuck in your teeth. Mention this in front of all his friends.

Wipe your butt off on his favorite T-shirt. Tell him you were out of toilet paper.

Fart frequently.

Ask him if he loves you. When he says yes, say, "really?" Repeat. After about fifteen times, ask him why he doesn't ACT like he loves you.

Answer 3

I know it might be difficult to dump him because you know already that you are going to end up hurting his feelings or breaking his heart however mix the good with the bad. When you dump him, because you need to be fair to yourself, make sure you tell him something like how he is a great guy, just not the one for you, or one of your favorite things about him and simply explain why you can no longer be with him.

Its ok to be afraid of hurting someone else's feelings. It goes to show that you too have feelings as well.

Answer 4

Why not try being honest with him a.s.a.p. Better he find out now than go on believing he can trust in you. Maybe you're just waiting for his Valentine's Day present first? Sounds like you should have told him quite some time ago.

Answer 5

Be mature and tell him the real reason why you want to end things. Don't be wishy washy or scared to hurt his feelings. You can't avoid that so being honest & upfront is the best. Don't do anything stupid like cheating either. Karma will get you.

Answer 6

Invite him to a Dinner saying that it is a farewell party oraganized by you for him.

Speak you heart out about your experiences with him. Cut a cake with no of candle = no of years/months/days with him. After dinner give him a gift and say good bye.

Tell him that you will not be in position to meet him in future and request him not disturb you. Tell him that you had spend nice time with him. Wish hime goodluck for his life (job/money/ married life).

Answer 7

be straighforward and tell him y u think yall should break up. if u want u can also tell him if he needs someone 2 talk 2 ur there 4 him but just as friends.

Answer 8

"You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free"

Answer 9

Talk to him. If you can't communicate with him I don't know why you think you'll be able to communicate (and therefore keep) your next boyfriend.

Answer 10

tell him that in your religion you sacrifice the one you love through a very painful ritual involving mastercut 2 knives and carnivorous goats....and opossums...if that doesnt work, shoot him in the face :)