Do you think that the recommended milestones for children are way too advanced for their ages?

Question

I have read the milestone charts for two years. They say that my son who just turned two should be dressing and undressing himself. Using the potty,Draws a vertical line Draws a circle, washing his own hair. come on
Oh and my 10 month old should • Wave goodbye
Says "mama" and "dada" to the correct parent
• Indicates wants with gestures • Stands alone for a couple of seconds
• Puts objects into a container
come on. I think it is too much pressure on parents to make their children keep up with the Jones' My son does many things a three year old can do, but can't dress himself. It's like telling a goose to lay a golden egg. What do you think?

My son does a lot, but come on telling a two year old to get dressed by himself? While being potty trained, brushing his own teeth, fixing his own meals, washing his own hair, getting himself dry..come on

I'm not upset with my son not being able to dress himself, he shouldn't know how to do that at 2!

Answer 1

I'm going to start with what I'm sure everyone else will say...all children develop at different rates. But, yes, I think that we, as a society are putting too much pressure on children to develop at rates that they are not cognitively capable of. I am a former primary school teacher and I find it ridiculous the things that children are now expected to do when in Kindergarten compared to just 10 years ago. So, unfortunately, the milestones may be high, but I guess that is just preparing you for when they get into school and have demands put on them that they are not developmentally able to handle.

Answer 2

It's kind of just a general guideline. If a child is doing many of the things on time, then he's considered to be normally developing. It's when he's, just for example, not standing alone yet at 12 months, that the doctors will want to look closer.

As for my son, all of the major physical milestones were way different from the schedule. He started walking alone at 9 months, when the charts say 12. He sat up at...oh, I can't remember exactly...I think 4 months, whent he charts say 5, and he crawled at 5 instead of 7. He rolled over for the first time at exactly 1 month old.

But the small physical milestones are off the other way. He's 12 months now and he still only occasionally waves bye-bye, and he's just started putting objects into containers. He doesn't say any 'real' words yet, just makes a few different noises to signify certain things (like he says 'Ha' for hot, and 'Ni-Ni' means night-night).

Pretty much, parents with sense about how to raise a child should just disregard the charts unless they suspect something. They're really for parents who have no clue.

Answer 3

i'd not worry too a lot honey. All little ones develop at diverse degrees. My little boy will be one next month. He would not communicate a be conscious, purely grunts plenty for what he needs. He extensively utilized to wave bye bye yet hasn't finished it in so long now, besides the actual undeniable reality that I nonetheless attempt to inspire him. He does look to comprehend what Im announcing besides the actual undeniable reality that the be conscious no is surpassed over and he does what he likes. he isn't any longer yet walking both notwithstanding the well being customer says he's totally high-quality. Why no longer make an appointment with yours to positioned your ideas at relax yet Im efficient hes completely high-quality x

Answer 4

Honestly the books that say all this stuff are just guidelines, they really arent what they SHOULD be doing but things that they MIGHT be able to do....Does that make sense? Okay, for instance my 2 year old can not even wave bye to the correct parent. He calls his daddy MAMA and he calls me MAMA so who is really MAMA to him...LOL.... Anyway, I would not worry about it at all. My three kids do whatever they want for milestones and I do not push for anything more....My 5 year old go denied preschool last year cause we "made too much money"....I think that he should be able to do way more things and I try with him but he really has no patience and I think that if a teacher that is not his mother would be more beneficial to him. You are doing FINE as a mother and do not worry about it.

Answer 5

I think you might want to just look at those as developmental guidelines (most parents are freaked out that their kid isn't normal or is behind, so those items are meant to be reassuring). If your kids are healthy and know they're loved, they'll likely be okay. However, don't totally disregard the lists. They may just include something you and your sig. other haven't thought about. But again, you're right to realize that you are the parent and know more about your child than a list does.

Answer 6

I think the charts are accurate. My kids were dressing themselves at 2, they didn't do the greatest job. I would have to straighten out their clothes and fix them before we could leave the house. I think often times as parents we are in too much of a hurry to wait a half hour for our 2 year old to figure out how to not put their head through the armhole of their shirt. I started out by letting them dress themselves when we weren't going anywhere. And them I started giving them their clothes before I even started to get ready to give them enough time to figure it all out. We like to keep doing these things for our kids. it's like we think we can slow the growing up process down or something. But nope. I also used the chart as guidelines, it isn't really putting pressure on you or your kids, it is just letting you know how old kids generally are when they can start to do these things. Kids are supposed to also be able to ride a tricycle by the age of 2 (I think). I would just loOK at the chart and say ok, your almost 2 let's start teaching you to dress yourself.

Answer 7

No, if anything they are understated, just so parents don't freak out that their kids aren't doing enough. Your two year old should be dealing with clothes himself (boys usually have buttoning trouble), should be potty trained, and of course should be drawing shapes, etc. And the ones you mention for the 10 month old are often done by younger babies.
There is nothing wrong with their being guidelines... they are just what that means after all. Nothing is said about intelligence, here.

Answer 8

yes, but then again some of the things are helpful. They are just guide lines for parents. If your child cant do Any thing on the list you should be worried as it may be medical.

Answer 9

I don't think it's that off. Maybe it would be better if they said something like...."things your 10 month old MIGHT be able to do"

Every kid is different, and each excels at something different.

I definately found that when your baby is new, you tend to compare her/him to other babies their age. I realized that they grow up way too quickly to push or rush them into accomplishing certain skills.

Answer 10

i am tired of people trying to put everyone into the same box. everyone is different. there is too much pressure put on children and parents. everyone worries about too much, just slow down and enjoy your kids!