confused? haha?

Question

me and this guy had sex for the first time. he was NOT a virgin but i was. beforehand, the guy knew i was a virgin, but he didnt believe me at all..and kept saying no youre not, no youre not..but i really was. the first time we had sex together he was gentle, but he didn't talk much, he fulfilled my needs and it was amazing. he layed with me afterwards and spent the night. the next day he came looking for me to hang out. however the second time, he constantly asked me if i was alright and physically helped me out. he even said "you said you were a virgin right"..and he wasnt drunk the first time, he remembered us having sex. he told me to tell him when it hurt and when i wanted him to stop. he basically treated my second time as my first time.

1. why did he say "you said you were a virgin right," when he remembered the other night happening?

2. and why did he really not talk the first time but he still pleasured me, but the second time he constantly asked if i was alright and was more caring?

Answer 1

There are probably better ways to give up your virginity. I have no more clue than you do about what happened.

Answer 2

Hi Jennifer,

"Your a virgin right?" - I am saying to you that I am not sure if you really are one.

This man first doubted you already by calling you a liar for being a virgin and telling you that you are not is not a very respectful nor decent thing to do. He treated you with amazing tenderness during sex, but for what appears to be for the wrong reasons or perverted ones? he doesn't seem like he is all that keen on you
but only the idea or possibility that you could be a virgin though he suspects that you are not is pretty clear because he has already doubted you.

Not talking or showing response this early on, would say that he is not really making love to you, but having sex with your body and possibly because he isn't wanting to get emotionally involved with you - just physically only. There are quite an abundance of men around who will be wanting sex with someone younger or inexperienced but usually the trend is that once they have, there is nothing more for them to stay around. I've known a lot of girls who have gone through this.

Perhaps he is turned on by the fact that his fantasy of you being a virgin (although you aren't anymore) is something that he can now fulfill on you?. This doesn't mean that he wants a committed relationship with you, but he can at least give you sexual intimacy and stimulation assuming this is all you might want too?. If all is going well otherwise and he isn't treating you oddly or like a child, then perhaps he truly is the genuine article who will become a lot more to you and like and love you for you.

If he was drunk whilst having sex with you whether it was the first or second time, I would honestly be very careful with this man and he sounds like he actually has some issues around sex and possibly drinks to disconnect from other stuff going on?. Someone who distrusts you doesn't really promise you a happy life with that person no matter well he treats you during sex. He can't possibly be falling in love with you this quickly either as men take quite a long time before they do that with a woman no matter how hot she is.

He is either a kinky perverted man with problems or he is just too insecure to have a relationship because he distrusts you or women in general. One of the two is correct but I can only leave that up to you and without wanting to scare you. Take some space from him and he will not push you into anything or question you or reject you if he is a decent sort of guy. If he does, then you will know you are with someone you shouldn't be with because he doesn't respect your boundaries.

Sorry for not telling you something you would like to hear, but I can see that something isn't right about this situation and have only given you advise based upon what I can see and have been through myself. I don't want you to go through it too and if this guy is playing you for a fool, then he is definitely winning and using your vulnerability to his own advantage.

Hope you can work it out but I think you have hit a hard rock and not realized it! - There are great guys out there, but some weird ones too and this one sounds odd. I also agree that he already knew the answers to the questions he asked you but just wanted you to get you to doubt yourself for him. This is terrible and he ought to be ashamed of himself. He is fooling you and you are falling for it too - I would step right back from him if I were you.

Answer 3

I don't think he took you seriously when you said you were a virgin the 1st time, so the 2nd time he wanted to make it up for his lack of care. That's why he was constantly asking if you were all right, if it hurted...Yeah, Xyne-love is right: how do you know he wasn't a virgin? He fulfilled your needs? The 1st time?!? Lucky girl! Take care!

Answer 4

How can you be sure he is not a virgin? It does not mean that he fulfilled your needs, he is not a virgin. i think he is also a virgin or it was his first time to take a virgin that he is not sure what to do. anyways, be careful not to get pregnant.

Answer 5

1. i dont know, probably just aimlessly asking questions he already knows the answers to
2. didnt want you to multitask TOO much ur first time (by having to talk and all) and second time he started to really care about u and how u feel.. bupp

Answer 6

and we out here are supposed to know the answer or even have a clue to that one?
jeese, everyone is different...you could ask him
maybe he is just a caring person, who knows


be cool...

Answer 7

honestly, there's no way to know. some guys are just weird and creepy when it comes to sex. i know i am!

Answer 8

ummm mabe he was drunk ask him!