Problems with my mother, and her hurtful comments, any advice?

Question

I am 5months pregnant(after suffering a lose, last year)and having trouble w/my family, and this baby`s father. They hate each other, and recently my mother made it known 2 him. My mother and I have always had our outs(and the latest, she thinks because I have gay friends I will be a bad mother)after she made this hurtful statement, she finishes w/I will do everything 2 take your baby away from you, cuz of that. I didnt want to get upset, hung up, told bf to tell her I didnt want to talk. When she called back he did, and just ripped into him, callin him every name in the book. He kept his cool, even after all she said. Now I havent spoke to her, and it hurts. What should I do? She isnt the type of person 2 apolize either. My family(which is small)wont even hear my side! Even though my bf hasnt been the greatest, he is stepping up now. She will always be the same, though. Whats your advice?

Answer 1

Tough situation! If I were you, though, I'd cool things with the mom for awhile. You don't need the stress. If she calls tell her you will be glad to talk to her if she can be calm and reasonable. If not, then tell her the stress of being nagged is not good for you or the baby and then don't talk to her until she cooperates. Your boyfriend may hold the key to resolving this situation. He needs to prove that he can be responsible, mature and a good husband and father. Notice I said "husband". Think about it.

Answer 2

It makes my blood boil when there are inconsiderate Mothers, who think they can treat their siblings any way they want. My advice to you is to make every effort to keep out of your Mother's way, and if she is an individual that there is no way you can have a decent conversation with, it is better to avoid any discussions with her because as the way you describe her, she is a strong will person and she will always want to have the last word. If you feel that you and your boyfriend can make a go of living together, do not let any one tell you other wise. You do not mentioned how old you are or, your boyfriend, But,please keep in mind that since you are pregnant, you should not be upsetting yourself,and not letting things say to you get you angry, because you might have a miscarriage. If your family do not want anything to do with you, it's their lose, and your Mother cannot take your child away from you, because of your Gay friends. Good Luck, and I hope that everything comes out fine with you and your baby.

Answer 3

I remember my mom used to be able to pile the crap on me for no reason. She would say demeaning and hurtful things. Never did she appoligize. Because I knew that was her I made sure I never let the sun go down on my anger. I would give mom cool down time and then I would slowly gain entrance into her realm. I would make a snack or meal and prepare her a plate. she loved ice tea so I would make that. Take it to her room and sit on the bed with her and eat. I would tell her this: " I don't know what I did or said to upset you, but I am sorry. I love you mom." I would finish eating and go back to the kitchen. Eventually she would come out all grumpy and growling. Little by little she'd mellow out and by the end of the day she was content.
What I am trying to say here is that you being (I am gathering) the more reasonable, should be the one to apologize. Don't worry if she don't accept it. You did your part.

Your bf. if he answers the phone and she is on the other end should never stand there and take her verbal abuse. He can't be rude or mean but he could do this. Say to your mom Oh wait so and so (Don't know your name) is right here. hand you the phone. If you hear her lacing him out them you could with all respect let her know you don't want her to talk like that to him again. Try to change the subject and if that don't work find a reason to hang up.
Now if your boyfriend is a jerk maybe he needs to listen to her.

I am not a gay hater. I do not believe in gay practice. And never wanted that to be a part of any of my kids' life. I would never have brought gay friends around, which is a signal to kids tht you are okay with it. I get along with them and find them to be okay other than their practice. Maybe this is how your mom sees it too.

Your boyfriend needs to keep hate out of the picture when it comes to your parents. He don't have to like them, but hate should never be in his thoughts.

If ya all don't iron the feelings out the relationship between the boyfriend and you will be very stressed at the least.

Answer 4

Your mom either needs to understand that she's hurting you, or accept you for who you are. Change your phone #, don't put it in the phone book, move, lose all contact w/ them. Remember them, and dont' treat your baby like that. Your mother's comments may hurt your self esteem, and your baby may think that's how he/she should grow up to be.

Answer 5

I went by using 6 or 7 years of that when which we moved so her and her family members are out of our lives for good. we would be getting alongside great, make love, giggling, getting the infant waiting and bypass to her domicile and interior minutes she'd have him mad at me, Mad approximately what? She wasn't chuffed till he became being sarcastic and impolite to me. She stored his old promenade image up for years till he ultimately took it down. no longer that i care or want something thank God. My husband works foreign places as secure practices and makes excellent funds yet i became continuously the guy who in no way have been given a present, as quickly as I did it became a marketplace plastic bag of loose samples. good factor i can chortle it off. He became working our of state and that i became severe danger being pregnant and he asked her to purely bypass inspect me and our 6 y.o. autistic son and he or she refused, [infant died]. She would not invite me to the showers the ladies have been having in the family members, i don't realize it incredibly is not a race factor we are all white, i'm church goer, i'm clean, i merely think of she would not like all of us who took her sonny boy away, because of the fact her husband left her and he or she could no longer recover from it, so my husband could do her backyard for her etc. besides it even says in the bible the MIL would be against the DIL [new attempt]. my husband began to get ticked off at her so he would not touch her anymore the two, merely supply it time you are able to't make her such as you, she's the guy who will lose out in time. your husband needs to assert something once you're actually not around.

Answer 6

Sounds like you shamed the family or dissapointed them. It also sounds like your on your own with your boyfriend. They will notice sooner or later but you have bigger things to worry about than someones opinion right now. Things will work out and remember to occupy your time right now with planning, spending time with your bf, strolls, the things you love, basically.

Answer 7

I"m sure it"s out of love, but she is being inconsiderate to you and your condition. She should be big enough to make peace with everything and put the baby first.

Keep your distance for a while.

Answer 8

Probably best to stay away from her for awhile.
And she cannot legally take your baby from you for having gay friends. A lawyer would laugh her out of his office.

Answer 9

i think u r better stayng away from her 4 the time being till she cools down herself.

Answer 10

Mother knows best, there is something negative she see's in him, your mother is always going to be your mother, when things go bad, she'll be there for you.