I have been married twice before and now am in a relationship with a wonderful person who is very attentive and caring and has just asked me to marry him. I am sooo afraid of getting married again because I do not want a 3rd divorce....He says that I have walls put up and I probably do but mostly I am just scared...
2007-02-11 13:53:44 · 16 answers · asked by scared 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well if this man is such a "wonderful person" why do you think there'll be a divorce?
I'm about to perform a ceremony for a couple; his 4th marriage, her 3rd. Personally, I think they have it right this time.
Might want to pause though and see if the fear of divorce is REALLY why you fear getting married.
2007-02-11 14:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, you owe each other a few steps to set a solid foundation for a marriage. I'd strongly suggest a marriage counseling program that runs at least 2-3 months in duration with a qualified family counselor. Marriage gets derailed for lots of reasons:
1. A desire to control the other
2. Personal issues (underdeveloped conscience, personality disorders, selfishness, etc)
3. A lack of understanding of the opposite sex (people often assume they understand the other. They generally don't. A decent counselor will see this issue straight away, if its an issue)
2007-02-11 14:08:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pre-marriage counseling is what is called for here. With or without your wonderful person, you should go see an accredited psychologist. You definately have unresolved issues from your prior "failed" relationships. The walls you have put up are there to protect you. There are better ways to handle your fears, and a counselor will help you find them.
Good Luck to you!
Always remember that you should make life's decisions out of love, not fear................
2007-02-11 14:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by Pixie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking this question you might want to reconsider timing. Try some counseling for yourself and get it at the root of the "walls" and "fear" of divorce.
Get married when you feel the timing is right and you are 100% ready and excited to take that walk again! This s when it will work out. if your finacee is understanding and treuly in love with you, he will wait a bit til you get it figured out!
2007-02-11 14:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by tara t 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you have to post on here and ask if you should marry him then your answer if no....If you are that scared then you are not ready to be married again. If you go into a marriage thinking it's going to end in divorce then chances are it probably will.
2007-02-11 14:36:38 · answer #5 · answered by boomer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say I do you know in your heart and are promising God that know matter what you will love cherish and spend the rest of your lives together.
If you can't say that is what you feel and know then I would not.
2007-02-11 14:19:05 · answer #6 · answered by Charlotte Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to your heart and your instinct.
and think of it this way
there are parts of marriages that are amazing, and not so amazing.
but if it ever did end.
hold onto those memories.
because they mean a lot more than some people think
2007-02-11 15:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had ANY doubt in my mind, I wouldn't have even considered getting married.
2007-02-11 14:10:35 · answer #8 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with your heart BUT if you have to wonder if he is the one then i wouldnt marry him !
when my fiance asked me there was NO doubts that i want to spend every day with him he is my soul mate
as cheesey as that sounds he is
2007-02-11 15:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3rd time is the charm go for it you are an experienced and wiser person u know if he is the oine for you
2007-02-11 14:04:36 · answer #10 · answered by Nora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋