my kids a all under 5 and i feel like im losing control of them they just dont listen any more it all started when i moved into mums and she kept going agianst what ive said like if i say bed she will sneak them out to watch tv then i confront her and she starts and argument with me in makes me look dumb in front of the kids. ive tried talking to her about it but she just says im over reacting also my oldest (nearly 5)is now answering back and when i say no she keeps saying she wants to live with her dad. (we have been seperated nearly 4 years and his just came back into her life after 2 years
2007-02-11 13:28:02 · 9 answers · asked by mrs nevz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Have a long talk with your mum and tell her that this type of behaviour will not be tolerated. By her or by the children. You are the mother, you have the last word when it comes to raising your children. As soon as you can, move out on your own. Perhaps there is some sort of assistance you can apply for that could help hurry that along.
2007-02-11 13:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by Deb C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest if your mother doesn't want to listen to your concerns then it is time to make other living arrangements. Truth is you are in your mom's home and she is not obligated to succum to any thing you would like to set up.
I am not saying your mother is fair in what she is doing, because she is far from it. She is directly teaching your kids to disrespect you and all other authority that is over them.
The welfare of your children are and should be the most important issue to you. If you aren't able to do right by them while with your mom, you need to make a quick descision to get out before it is too late. The longer they are dealing with this the worse they will get. If they get to bad off you will have a real job on your hands.
When my mother became more aged I had moved in with her as we were both renting. It was pretty much like you are talking. I told my mother I would pay her 200 to live there and buy food for all and help pay utilities. I did.
When my mother started showing her bad side I laid out a plan. I changed my live in plans. I gave her the promise of 500 a mo. as long as I could raise my kids as I chose. I told her I would give her 500 only if I had complete control of my own kids. She was aloud to let them know when they were annoying her and things. But for every time she went against a rule I had for the kids I deducted 10. Then when I went to pay my way the next mo. I just simply said: " This is all that is left after deducting these points" I then handed her a paper with the things she had done and then the money. I wasn't mean, I just kept my word. She was my mom and I couldn't be judgemental or anything, but like I said, just kept a promise I made her.
2007-02-11 21:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by sandra_k19 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MOVE out! There are shelter out there that can take you in. A five year old is NOT in control. Your MUM is destroying your authority and not giving you a chance to be mum. When an argument starts,... walk away and shut door with your children with you. She may try to tell them you are not in control and lessen your authority even more.
Let Daddy take control if he is playing that game. If he is not... then put it to your 5 year old that way. YOU ARE IN CONTROL. just don't let everyone make you think you're not.
2007-02-11 23:07:59 · answer #3 · answered by skygirly62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try to have a nice, long chat with your mom and make her realize you're a responsible person, perfectly capable of educating your children. Tell her respectfully that she is discrediting you in front of your children. Also, I think that when kids are naughty, they sometimes deserve punishment, like, for example, a small slap in the butt, something light (never in the face or in the head). I don't mean to spank them! But I think you should try the "if-you-do-me-this, I'll-do-you-that" method, do you see what I mean? Like,a deal, for example: if you don't brush your teeth, I won't let you watch cartoons... Confront your children's father with his responsibilities. Don't be afraid to say "No!" when they want something and don't let your children control your life: YOU're the mom, THEY must respect YOU! That's just my humble opinion...Good luck !
2007-02-11 21:50:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nessie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get back in control of your kids. You are the mother, not your mother, not the kids. That's why you are the mother, to raise your children. Get in there and Get control. before you loose it forever. either your mother, needs to stay out of your parenting tactics. or you need to move out, That's ridiculous, I tell you some grandparents are worse for their kids than you know! They are your kids. Treat them like it! Or they will lose respect for you totally. That's what happens, the kids learn that the parent doesn't deserve/or make them respect them. so they abuse that priveledge
Good Luck, Luv, Jess
2007-02-11 21:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ultimately they are "YOUR CHILDREN" its up to you decide whats best from them! if your mother continues this way you should consider finding your own place. also if any of your children are at least 3 try putting them in some activities that way a lot of their time is school and an activity they may like..also if you had not been firm with your children before now it will be extremely hard to let them know who's boss!!but for now everytime you tell them to do something and your mother goes against your ruling tell your child again firmly "i am your mother and then repeat what you asked them to do" but you have to be consistent and they have to know it will be a consequence for negative actions when disobeying you. and your eldest child is only asking to be with her father because she thinks it will be easier (she can do what she wants) try talking to your mother, i know what your thinking( she won't listen) but i think when she starts to see the consistency with you and your children she will start to respect you as their mother. try it
2007-02-11 21:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by peanut 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get out of your moms house and raise your own kids. your kids don't need 2 moms. next, your 5 yr old should not have the option to move in w/ dad (they don't get to switch everytime they get mad). you need a punishment and rewards system (reward exceptional not expected behavior and punish unacceptable behavior).
2007-02-11 21:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by schnazzy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would tell you mother to not spoil the kids, and if she wants to sneak the kids out and let them watch t.v., then she can handle the disapline
2007-02-11 21:31:42 · answer #8 · answered by builtff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move back out on your own.
2007-02-11 21:32:41 · answer #9 · answered by night_shift101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋