Are we spoiling our kids??

Question

I think that its possible that todays consumerist, self-gratifying spiritual vacuum has caused many kids in the UK have somehow become self-centred, rude, unfeeling and vicious towards each other, their parents and their elders (e.g. think of happy slapping etc)

I cannot help but draw comparisons between my childhood and the freedoms enjoyed by kids of today. At the age of 13/14/15 my dad imposed a TV watershed of 9pm, at which point I was given the option of going to sleep at 9 or joining my dad to watch Newsnight. Most kids today have TVs in their bedrooms.

The first party I ever went to by myself was at the age of 16 and I was only allowed to go because it was my friends party and my dad knew my friends mum. In contrast my niece has been "going clubbing" since around the age of 13.
I was smacked (albeit v.rarely) as a kid and it genuinely did me no harm. Now smacking is illegal yet seems kids are more violent and rude than ever.

are we ruining them?Or nurtuting them?

although i have smacked a child before i am undecided as to whether it is a good or bad thing. I dont want to be an agressor, or rule with violence but at the same time, some children do not respond well to reasoning . I dont know what the answer is either but I think we need to do something radical with our children to prevent them becoming even more unpleasant and shallow (not all children by the way, just a large proportion of them).

thanks dh i!!! Wow i got an award. Actually i am a fraud. I suffer from reverse insomnia. I sleep too much!! I just fancied staying up for a bit, wanted to watch a film, started watching youtube then was inspired to ask this question. But the reward is much appreciated anyway, well worth staying up for!!

Answer 1

Kids are the way they are due to the parents greed for more "stuff". Children are shipped off to sitters for the largest part of their day. They only see their parents as a quickly moving nasty person trying to get home life caught up...

This means they are NOT learning to bond with their parents... WORSE yet, the parents treat the kids like mini targets for their OWN angst . This life angst is directed toward the child with sharp words and deeds.
I fear that parents do NOT bond with their children as strongly as they should.

This means that children do NOT learn gentleness and compassion for their OWN families...

So how do we expect them to care for others OR have COMPASSION for people outside their home???

They do NOT "know" what love feels like.

THIS I SWEAR is what is wrong with kids. Selfish parents that EVEN treat their spouses with "sibling rivalry", argueing about who got more, or who DOES more for the family.... instead of as LOVERS and soul mates we have squablers. How is ANY kid supposed to learn in THAT atmosphere?

Look at Yahoo Answers... IF an parent whines about their children's behavior... then MOST of the responses from the rest of you are "parent friendly" instead of telling the parent the TRUTH about what the child needs. You tell the parent to deprive the child, or spank the child. H E L L O ! Tell the parent to read up on developemental stages and NEEDS of THE CHILD.

I have witnessed this type of answer 97% of the time here. In fact... it makes me NOT be able to answer a lot of these questions because it breaks my heart that the
INNOCENT children are the BAD GUYS~

debrazgalaxy : visit my 360 blog to see how many abuses I have suffered, then criticize MY way of thinking~

Answer 2

Kids are definitely spoilt. My little boy is three and I get people asking why I haven't got him a TV in his bedroom or a games console?? I don't think so!! I disagree with the statement about childcare though. He has been in childcare since he was one because I'm a single parent and I went back to college for 2 years, and now I'm working full-time (but term-time only). I think that I give him attention when I have him, without giving him stuff and spoiling him to pieces. All the people who look after him say he's a pleasure to have, and I think it's better for me to give him a good example by working, rather than show him you can have money for staying at home. It's the balance that is important, give them time when you have them, rather than give them "things". And no, I never smack him, but I do use time out and rewards, such as he gets 2 packets of stickers for his album every friday if he is good on the bus every morning (which is understandably hard for a 3 year old at 7am every morning!) I spoil him by giving him time whenever I can, but also he does understand when mummy is busy then it can't be helped, grown-ups do have jobs to do etc such as cleaning and shopping.

Answer 3

RUINING. I agree because kids get everything they want and are never punished or recieve minor punishments they are so rude and arrogant now a dayz. If the parents keep sheltering them how are they suppose to look after themselves and be independent. Every situation the encouter the will just pick up the phone and call mummy or daddy.
What are today's kids turning into?

Answer 4

I totally agree people have gone off the deep end in an effort to make sure their children never suffer. People have lost sight of the most important things like raising your children to show respect for authority such as teachers or basic courtesy towards others. Children now rule the adults and that's just sad.

Answer 5

In some ways, a child's access to a computer and television can be educational. It depends on what you let them watch or do.

I couldn't imagine letting my children go "clubbing" at 13... and I have all boys.

I don't spank.. much (I have before over hurting our animals or his little brother) and my parents beat me pretty bad. In that respect I think I will build a better relationship with my child because that really tore my family apart.

Answer 6

I don't agree with bashing children but we are all soft or getting that way in UK and it is because the country is getting wealthy. Also children are getting a little out of hand because parents work so darn hard and haven't time for them as they are already over their stress levels with their daily work.

Answer 7

The kids of today are spoiled rotten by the parents. Reason is they want something or someone else to entertain their kids, as they are too involved with themselves. So they give them everything, instead of making them know the value of $$$$$. In my days, we had to earn that privelage of getting something, or babysit and save our money for it. Nowdays, they just throw fits, nd end up getting it to shut them up. No wonder the society today is messed up. And we sure did not have viloence in the schools when I went to school or when my kids did.!

Answer 8

We as parents per se, are not spoiling our children. Society has spoiled the children by sparing the rod. My children will get a swat on the bum if out of hand and acting rude. Children do not need there own phone nor do they need a tv in their room. Enough is enough, now we have children ruling over their parents. I think it is time for some old fashioned values!!!!

Answer 9

Ruining them. There would be no way I would allow a child to have a TV in their bedroom, why make it a place they want to go? I would also never allow my child to have their own computer. The computer would be in the living room so I could supervise what they see and where they go. Today's kids get too much and have absolutely no respect for nothing or no one.

Answer 10

In many ways, we are spoiling them. We let little girls wear provocative clothing when they're not even teenagers yet. We give them TVs and computers and cell phones, etc.

They don't have to work for anything, It's all given to them.

(On the other hand, every generation of parents thinks things have gotten out of hand with the younger generation)