How do I tell my mom goth is what I am and it won't stop me from being a good christian??

Question

I like to wear black clothes because in them I feel beautifull safe and protected, I know it sounds weird, but that's just the way I feel, the problem is people won't accept me this way, not even my mom, she's always telling me I look goth and saying goth is demonic.Now she has forbidden me to wear black anymore,I feel so unconfortable like this, I don't even feel like myself anymore...

What should I do??

Answer 1

Stop trying to be a Goth Chick. Just be a regular girl.

Answer 2

Religion and parents and "goth"...
Take it slow! There is a certain stigma to many aspects of the gothic subculture, and that is what your mother warned you about... They don't want you getting tattoos or filling your face full of metal bits. They are afraid that you will dress like a freak and embarass them in front of the neighbors. They are probably also afraid that it all has something to do with Satan or something. Religion is a personal thing - how you understand it, how you interact with your religious community... "Goth" is not a religion, it is not anti-religion. There are people of many faiths - I have met Christians, Jews, Muslims, in addition to all the assorted heathens. I generally don't talk about religion; I am very open-minded, and hope for others to be, as well.

Just be patient.
If it is what you want, don't worry about how you look yet. Read, read, read!!! You will never have so much time in your life to read as you do right now, so take advantage of it. Take this time for research, learn to sew & build. Develop an understanding of your personal tastes. You have a lot of time, so enjoy it. Eventually, you will become independent of your mother's influence on your appearance (especially if you have learned to sew (or modify) your own clothes).

You don't necessarily have to wear black all the time. Any dark colour can work for a look, grey, purple, brown... There are various styles like corporate and victorian which your mother might not find quite as threatening as the metal/punk look with the spikes and chains.

I wish you well.

Answer 3

Jesus loves Goth people just as much as anyone else. Goth is a fashion and a fashion alone. Your mother is not being a good christian by judging you or anyone else by their clothes. Dress to express yourself and how you feel most confident and happy. Be yourself and your religion has nothing to do with what you wear, it's only what you believe. Christians should reach out and love everyone and anyone. Reverend Mark

Answer 4

Oh, your poor mother. She is still caught up with the notion that it is the outside that counts. She is missing the point that a person's heart and character are what count in this world. God doesn't give a rip about what we look like on the outside. He is concerned with our hearts. I too am a Christian, and I once used to think that being Goth was evil. It was purely out of ignorance that I felt this way. Having had opportunities to be around people who dressed in "non-traditional" styles, I've come to realize that people are people. Their clothing, hair style, make-up, ornaments etc are only a reflection of their personal style - NOT a reflection of their character. Now if you were wearing Satan-themed clothing that obviously glorifies that stupid turdball (sorry for my wording), then I could understand why your mother would feel that was demonic. There are plenty of very conservatively dressed people in church who, by all outward appearances, are the epitome of goodness and love. Then when you get to know some of these folks a little bit better, you find a heart that is selfish, cruel, dark, mean-spirited etc. You really can't judge a book by its cover. It sounds like your mother is not so concerned about the Goth look being evil, because she is your mother and already knows your good heart. I think she is more afraid of "what will others think?". That is a natural way of parents to think because our children will often do things to embarrass us, and as parents, we try to raise our kids to "act properly".

Perhaps you two could compromise. When you are out and about with friends, at school, out in public etc., you can dress Goth. When you are at church with your Mom, perhaps you can still wear black, but tone down a bit so that it is not quite so obvious. This way, you can still be true to yourself while respecting your mother's feelings. Really though, when you go to church, even if your way of dressing DID seem evil to some people, then rather than judging you harshly for it, these same people should be praising God that you are in church where they would think you really need to be. I understand things from your mother's viewpoint because I am the mother of a teenager. I also understand your viewpoint because I know too many people, who are non-traditionally dressed as well as conservatively dressed people whose insides are vastly different from the way they appear on the outside. You sound like a good daughter. Present your case to your mother in a thoughtful and considerate manner, yet respectfully hold to your individuality, and hopefully she will come around.

Answer 5

Ive had this problem with my parents before. My mom who is christian used to not let me wear black at all. then in my freshman year she bought me a black sweatshirt. then later on black shoes. then from then on i just bought whatever black clothes i wanted.
i didnt become "goth" but i did wear black a lot. like you said i just felt really comfortable and nice in it. i dont know. it is hard to explain. anyways a lot of time has passed and i still dress the same way but i add in more colors. and now shes just accepted how i dress. i gave in a little and i guess she did.

its hard to give advice on this. but i hope what i did say helps a little.

hope things get better for you.
♥

Answer 6

My 14 yr old neice likes the color of black as well. She talked with her mom about going gothic. No. Christian family too. However, my niece does wear some black-not all-but some. She wears blue jeans, and a black top, or a black hooded sweat jacket. She is okay with that. Goth is not the best way to dress. Ask your mom if she would be willing to let you wear one item that is black-a top, seaet shrit, etc. Or black jeans. That is not dressing goth-all black is. I wish you well. Take care.

Answer 7

Your clothing should not make you who you are. You should try and analyze why you feel more secure and why it makes a difference in who you are by what clothes you wear. Clothes do not change who you are. I would think that you are trying out your independence, and are more angry that your mom isn't allowing it. Maybe she would compromise...say let you wear black once or twice a week, and this would help you get used to wearing different clothes and at the same time be able to express yourself too.

Answer 8

Okay, well your mom is right, goth is demonic, and you can't be goth AND a christian, that's just not exactly how it goes. If you like wearing black that is one thing, but being goth is not all about wearing black. I knew some goth people, and they did much more than just wear a certain color, they did some things that i (as a christian) strongly dissagreed with. Just tell your mom that you like black, but if you plan on staying a christian, you need to watch out for the people that you hang around. OK. Good luck.

Answer 9

Tell her by forcing her views onto you that it will end up driving you away from christianity and making you not want to be part of that. Also point out that Johnny Cash was a good christian and he wore black nor was he goth.

Answer 10

I wear black. I like it. However, I'm not obsessed with death, and all my black attire lacks any gothic appearance whatsoever. Goth isn't the color, it's everything else. It's the freaky part. If you have the freaky part in you, I can't help you.