My 8 year old keeps getting upset when she makes a mistake and calls herself supid and sometimes hits herself?

Question

She tries so hard to get everything right and does a great job but seems to expect way to much from her self in a short time. I taught her the "our Father in one night and the next night while saying it at the dinner table she missed a line and started crying and saying how stupid she was and hits her forehead. I tell her how long it takes some people to learn that and that i am so proud of her but it is not enough for her to hear. I don't know where this is coming from or why it is happening. She loves to read and is doing normal level work at school. She is alittle behind in math and that is where we struggle the most. She misses anything and she is on the floor crying. What am I doing wrong or missing? Thank you for any suggestion!

I guess I should mention I am her grandmother and have raised her all her life. I tell her I love her everyday. We do homework & make dinner together everyday. Then she likes her alone time with her toys and dogs. I also want to mention that I had a heart attack in Nov. and she had to call 911....she saved my life. So I know she knows she is loved. But if this is part of a self esteem issue, then I also need some advise on how to help her thru that. ( Her Mom sees her about 3 times a month) I figured someone will ask lol Thank you to all that have sent suggestions so far. God Bless you for your time.

Answer 1

my daughter is a teenager who says the same thing all the time. It drives me crazy to think that she thinks so little of herself. While your daughter is a bit young she is also being very much herself. Your responses sound right to me so I wouldn't worry too much right now. Talk to her teacher about your misgivings and see if together you both can work up a positive reinforcement program to improve her self-esteem issues.

hang in there and good luck!

Answer 2

Your 8-year-old obviously has large self-esteem issues.
Alot of kids that age go through this stage, which is what this is..a stage.
But if it continues after a year,I'd advise taking her to talk to someone.
I'm not saying anything about your parenting, but do you often tell her you love her and do you praise her when she does well on something?
She may be doing this looking for attention and praise and love.
Have you gone through a recent divorce or have you recently moved?
That may traumatise a child and this is the only way they know how to let it out.
The best thing to do?
Talk to her, encourage her. Maybe a sticker system, where you make a chart of chores, homework,etc. and each time she does well she gets a sticker under a certain column and when she gets a certain number of stickers ,she gets to pick dinner, or an activity for the day (like a trip to the park or the zoo, etc.).

Answer 3

My daughter is the same way - she gets something in her head and no matter what I say she won't let it go. When she calls herself stupid I tell her that it's not true and that she's believing a lie. I give her the evidence that she is smart (her good grades, etc.) One of our house rules is no name calling which includes calling yourself names. I reassure her that everyone makes mistakes - that doesn't make you stupid. I was also wondering - is your granddaughter a perfectionist? everything has to be "just so" - tags in clothes bother her, seams in socks bother her - what about her behavior, does she seem to get "stuck" on things and can't change her thinking? The reason I ask is because my daughter has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) - if any of these other things are present you might want to look into that - a child therapist can help you with that, it really sounds like that might be her problem.

Answer 4

I would talk to her teacher's and get to the bottom of this because even if this might be a faze that she's going through I wouldn't let it get to out of hand because she may just need to hear it from you that she's smart and let her know that she's just like everyone else on this earth who makes a mistake sometimes everyday and if not that every week.

But right now I think she just needs to hear it from you that she's smart and if she thinks she needs more help with her work try looking into getting someone to toter her because that might help her not only now but also in the years to come.

Answer 5

Oh my! My brother did that (and still does. He's 10). He would growl and cry and smack himself in the middle of the forehead. My mom would just hold his shoulders and look him in the eyes. She told him that he's not stupid and he can make mistakes. It doesn't work all the time, but it has to sink in soon.
She will probably grow out of it sooner or later. Just be kind and comfort her.

Answer 6

She has too much pressure on her. Let her know that the world goes on if she gets stuff wrong. If you are trying to teach her the Lord's Prayer, it can be very difficult to memorize so try to break it up into pieces like.

Our Father who Art in Heaven. And then the next night teach her. Hallowed be Thy name. And then night after night teach her a little more and eventually she will have it perfectly memorized.

Answer 7

this could lead to her having self-esteem problems in the future. although she is just 8 and it could be normal do not make her a perfectionist. make sure you tell her that people make mistakes. as long as you enforce her values and teach her right from wrong, you can also let her know that first of all she is NOT STUPID. and second of al even adults make mistaktes

Answer 8

this variety of self abuse will be undemanding yet isn't unavoidably healthy or proper habit. i'd take her to a counselor who works with childrens. even besides the undeniable fact that she is youthful, self-harming habit is a few thing which will be a demonstration there's a more beneficial extreme emotional issue. i do not prefer to scare you or some thing, because the habit would properly be fastened frequently. yet i'd handle it through seeing a habit professional or counselor. they might have an elementary answer to the problem that you're not any further seeing. some children attempt this for interest, so one aspect you are able to attempt is basically ignore with regard to the habit at the same time as she does it. till you imagine she will be heavily harm, basically bypass about your organization and ignore about it. Or placed her in a play pen or different secure area with some smooth toys and basically enable her have it out in there the position there is not any longer some thing sharp. yet when you're giving her lots of interest at the same time as she does it you'd be inadvertently worthwhile the habit. childrens regularly do not comprehend the version between damaging and useful interest and in the adventure that they prefer interest they are going to act out. in case you experience like perhaps she does it once you're busy and she feels bored or ignored attempt intervening in the previous it receives to that aspect through preventing what you're doing and interpreting her a tale or doing some thing mutually for a at the same time as. advantages her solid habit and also you'll see more beneficial consequences than once you punish her undesirable habit. outing for tantrums is oftentimes useful in case you retain on with it. i understand it might properly be very complicated yet be affected individual, supply her lots of interest at the same time as she is being solid, and ignore about her at the same time as she acts out and she will learn that solid habit is the thanks to get your interest. solid success!

Answer 9

My 8 yr old daughter does this too. All I can do is reassure her that she is not stupid and when I make a mistake I point it out to her to remind her that even adults mess up. Just be patient and encouraging.

Answer 10

she sounds like a very bright little girl.The same age as my granddaughter.Ask her if she thought she learned to walk in one try?Or how about,does she think she learned to ride her bike in one day.By pointing out that NOTHING happens in one try, she may cut herself some slack.Also relate stories about when you were little and how you didn't do as well as she does.(wink-wink)