I am an adult living at home with my mom while finishing my law degree. I have a bother who is 20 at home. About 2 years ago my dad had an affair and left my mom. HIs lying, deceit, and betrayal was certainly was the opposite of my honest and loving mother.
Since then my mom has tried dating with not a lot of success. She has made a lot of friends though and looks great. However, she tells us she wants to date and she wants to try different methods (eharmony, a matchmaker, singles club). Both my brother and I are supportive. This weekend we found out (we had our suspicions) that she is dating a married (possibly separated man) for months. The way we found out was not great and required some snooping. Our question is how do we confront our mother who has been lying for months? How can she lie to our face that she was away with her friends when we know she was with him? Can we do this without destroying what is left of our family? I am a Christian who values honesty and family.
2007-02-11 12:46:58 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That is really sad for all of you--- mostly for her, though, because she is obviously ashamed of what she is doing, yet feels she needs this man in her life.
I don't think it is your position to 'bust' your mother. If she had known all along that you wouldn't be judging her, she'd have been honest with you from the beginning.
Sometimes parents treat grown up children like they are still small and mom has to be perfect and set the right example. Sometimes grown-up children contribute to Mom's feeling like that because they act like small children who feel qualified to tell mom what is right and what it wrong.
You don't know enough about it to make judgments on her--- and even if you did, who made you her judge? I thought that was reserved for God.
Let her work it out in her time. She's been hurt by your dad--- maybe she really wants to know this guy well before bringing him home to introduce to the family.
You need to continue to be loving and supportive and be her friend. She needs to know that with him or without him, she still has her family to love.
2007-02-11 13:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by Rani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is an fairly troublesome difficulty. i understand a bunch of persons are having heavy complications like that in the present day. first of all, i'm hoping issues do get more beneficial advantageous for you, no matter if my answer or the different solutions help. existence should not be so troublesome and unfair for someone attempting so troublesome to help people, yet i imagine the evil in the international regularly seeks out the solid to target to deliver them down. Now, i don't understand your entire difficulty. it isn't completely sparkling no matter if you meant that you probably did call newborn's facilities because you knew that they had to go back and do some thing about your daughter's difficulty or that you probably did not call them in any respect and he's basically mendacity about each and everything. in the case that you probably did call them, besides the undeniable fact that no longer for a "meal cost ticket", he's possibly indignant because he thinks you've grew to grow to be hostile on your daughter. if it is the case, he possibly gained't get over it rapidly and that i advise you stay faraway from him and be the angel that you're basically for others for a at the same time as. per chance, in the top, he will see the reality and are available across approaches to savour you. If he lives with you (you probably did not aspect out no matter if he did or no longer) tell him he has to flow out. you don't want the aggaravation. in case you probably did not call newborn's facilities and he's mendacity about each and everything, then he's in all probability lower than some undesirable impression, per chance from his female friend. If he's an grownup, that is his decision. tell him you don't understand why he would lie, yet that you are able to not be surrounded through liars. Urge him to stroll with God and be honest, yet tell him you are able to not be close to him till he does. really, you look to have sufficient on your plate without coping with his lies or misunderstandings. examine with him, for sure. If that would not paintings, besides the undeniable fact that, distance your self from him. If, for some reason, this gained't furnish you with the outcomes you want, I advise kinfolk counseling. it would help both way, easily. solid success and God Bless.
2016-12-04 01:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by bartow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, take into consideration that your mom probably is either embarassed about telling you or is keeping her relationship on the down-low due to the man's request. Either way, you should just tell her that you know and ask her why she didn't tell you about it. Tell her that it bothered you when she lied and let her know that there is no reason for her to lie to you.
However, it's ok for people to keep things private. I didn't tell my parents about a boy I was hooking up with and dated the man I married for a year before telling them we were dating. Eventhough she is your mom, she's aloud to keep things private- just let her know that she doesn't need to make lies up to hide something, she just needs to be upfront and honest with you and tell you that it's private.
2007-02-11 13:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by Erin H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, she is an adult, let her be responsible for her action
2007-02-11 12:57:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋