Please Help!!!?

Question

Well im a 16 yr old boy and I need some help on how to tell my parents that I like the same sex and how I feel deeply about being the opposite gender. I am feeling really depressed keeping my feelings in every day and it is getting really hard and some times I get suicide thoughts. I would like to know how to tell my parents and what to expect from telling them. Also parents that answer how would you feel about this if I was you son. Please help! and thanks in advance for the help.

Answer 1

Jeese I have a gay son and I had known that he was gay since he was a young boy. I waited for the day he was strong enough to tell me and when he finally did we just said okay. We love our son very much and all we wanted for him was to be happy. I know that some people see being gay as not being right, I say who are they or I to judge. I know that it will take a lot of courage to tell your parents all I can tell you is that I hope your relationship with them is one where the communication is pure and understanding where there is respect on both sides, where there is no judgement for the choices that you both may make. That no matter what you can come to them and ask, and tell them anything. If the relationship is that then telling them will not be hard at all, if not then I will suggest that you go to an adult you trust and respect, or the school guidance counselor, and talk to them about this and they should be able to help you with this.

One thing I have to say to you first is that thinking about taking your life is NOT COOL, not cool at all. Life is so short and you haven't seen anything yet. Please there are so many more smiles you have to expierence, so many more beautiful sunrises and sunsets, so many new trends (which are just old trends coming around again lol), new hit songs, new dances moves, new hit movies, parties, making new friends, traveling, sports, love, church, fighting, not fighting, laughing, crying, getting presents, birthdays, Christmas, New Years, Fourth of July, Spring Break, College Oh my goodness College so much fun (and mind you, you can get straight A's and still have a blast in college, without getting high or drunk, I know cause I had a good old time and I was already married with 5 kids lol) finding that special someone, oh thats when eveyone thinks life begins, having kids of your own, raising them, loving them, fighting, crying, just having a blast with your kids (I know from expierence I had the best time ever raising 5 kids), grandchildren (of which i have 10 o;dest is 17 and yongest is a set of twins that are 6 years boy and girl) and the list is huge of the things you have yet to expierence, but oh Jeese life begins with YOU and GOD, turn to him in prayer and mind you life isn't always a rose garden but it is neither full of thorns. You will never feel alone, God is and will always be there for you and by the way so will I. Oh Jeese you don't want to think of ending your life when you haven't really even started to LIVE. You are thinking about ending your life all because of being gay NO, NOT COOL I will not accept that from a 16 year old no way. I will fight and pray for you to succeed in all that you will and can be. Get help if you need it from school, or other adults that you love and or trust. God bless and if you ever want to chat about life or nothing at all my e-mail address is [e-mail] my name is Audrey and I am proud to have met you. You take care and remember LIFE is really FUN.

Answer 2

WOW, my dear friend I feel for you! You are in a hard predicament. It all really depnds on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. As a parent myself I would hope that my children will feel that they can come to me and talk about everything that is bothering them. There are a lot of things that your parents will be questioning you about, and I am sure that telling them everything on one go might be a bit overwhelming. But one thing that I really cannot stress enough about is this, honey, please do not let the negative thaughts into your head, you are a special person and even though you are going through a rough patch at this moment in time, it will get better. I know that this is not exactly what you want to hear, but sometimes as we are in a difficult situation we seem to forget that "this too shall pass". Everything is done one step at a time, so even though things seem overwhelming right how, take a deep breath and take the first step. Good luck.

Answer 3

Hey there! First off, you don't have to tell them right now if you don't want to. I don't know your family and what they are like, so it's hard to vision how they will react.
Please don't ever think of taking your own life again. That is just selfish and silly. You are better than that, and you're a very important person. Just because you are attracted to the same sex doesn't make you a bad person!!! Good grief, honey, there are so many gay men who have and are still going through what you are now.
You'll be fine. Just know how beautiful you are!!! God made you just like he made the rest of the people on the planet.
If any of my 4 sons came to me and told me that they were gay, I would be a little sad at first thinking that he's not going to make me any grandbabies, but I would love my son just as much as I ever did before! There is nothing that my kids can do to ever make me stop loving them.
I have several friends who are gay. My best friend is actually a gay man and i've been through all of this with him. He never actually came "out" with his dad like he did his mom. His dad and he are not very close and so his dad just doesn't ask and Paul doesn't tell.
Being 16 is hard enough with out haveing issuse like this. Just be who you are, honey. You're going to be fine.
(((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Answer 4

Your parents would be more devasted if you took your own life than if you tell them you are gay. The love of a parent has few boundaries. They may have expectations of you but you are your own person. I hope that your relationship with them is close because all this anxiety you're having makes me wonder if you already know their views on homosexuality. It may be a shock to them or they might already know. There is support out there within the gay community and even outside of it. I think if you feel the need to let them know, tell them. If my son told me he was gay I wouldn't care I want him to enjoy life not deny himself happiness. Please talk to someone about these suicidal thoughts you are having your situation may feel overwhelming but not worth ending it.

Answer 5

You need to tell your parents about what is going on inside of you they may
reject you afterwards so you need to be prepared for that, but if I were you I
would probably wait until I was 18 in case they do kick you out,
I know it may seem like a long time to wait but were would you go if your parents kick you out?

Also I would try to find a gay, lesbian, and transgender youth club in your area so you could be with other people who share your same feelings and problems.

I hope that you find happiness.


Good luck!

Answer 6

First of all, you should just tell them. I can't tell you how they will react. Some parents are more understanding then others. Some will just (I hate to say it) disown you. My friend just recently told his mom that he liked the same sex, and she freaked out on him. All you can do is just hope for the best. Don't get suicidal. Just be yourself. With or without your parents.

If you were my son, I (as a person) would love you reguardless. I wouldn't disown you, but that's just me.

Go ahead and tell them. Good luck.

Answer 7

I have a 21 yr old son and if he came to me with that information, I would tell him that's okay, he should be who he is and follow his heart in all things and he has my 100 percent support. I just want him to be happy. That is all any good parent would want for their child.

I don't know what your parents are like, but all you can do is be honest with them. Be yourself and ask them plainly to accept this is who you are and you hope they will support you no matter what. If they have trouble dealing with it, you should find one of the local support groups that help gay teenagers and their parents communicate their feelings to each other and help the parents to understand what their child is going through.
I think the name of the organization is PFLAG. But there are probably other organizations that work similarly to support teenagers in your situation. There are a LOT of teenagers in your situation, so you don't have to keep those feelings locked inside. There are people who WANT to be there for you, want to help you and show you that you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. They will help you get away from those suicidal thoughts, especially.

If I were your mom, I would want to know that you were having those thoughts and I would want to help you. I'm sure your parents feel the same. Don't do anything permanent to yourself--don't end your life, because your life is just beginning and I promise it can get better. You don't have to feel helpless. You have the power to make your life better.

Go to the support groups first, if you aren't sure of your parents' reactions, and they will help you better to come out to your parents. That is just what they are for, to help someone your age cope with all the changes you are going through. There is help.
Please don't give up. This will be one of the harder times of your life, but you can get through it. You have a lot of good things to look forward to.

Answer 8

This may surprise you but your parents probably already
suspect that you are gay. By coming 'out' you will only
confirm their suspicions. You could start out by telling them
they have not failed you. That they taught you how to love and
care for someone. It is just that the someone you care for just
happens to be the same sex as you. As a parent I am not sure
how I would feel if my daughter tole me she was gay. I would
hope that I would remain calm and try and find a positive side
to it. I do know that I would still love her because she is my child.

Answer 9

it might be a good idea to talk to someone out of your family first perhaps a older friend or even talk to the sammaritains espec if you are having suicidal tendencies. I think you really need to have this all sorted in your head before you approach your parents and that means getting the suicidal thoughts gone

Answer 10

There is no easy way to tell them, you just need to sit down with them with no distractions and tell them. If you have a stronger relationship with one than you may want to tell them alone first and have them help you break it to the other. You have to tell them though as this is causing you such distress.

I am a mom (3 born to me, 2 born to my husband). If my son came to me with news like this my main concern would be his well-being. I love my children as they are and I want them to be happy. Your children are unique beings wonderful in their own right. You love them as they are for who they are.

You are still their child, the same one they have loved and supported all this time. And if you are really close to them, they may already have an idea that something is going on.