How do you take time out for yourself without feeling guilty about leaving your 3 week old behind?

Question

My first child is my daughter and she is 3 weeks tomorrow. I'm just wondering about any tips to not get stressed out over her, and to take "me" time out.

It just doesnt feel like any one can take care of her as well as I think I can. I do leave her with my sisters (her aunts), and my mom, but it still feels bad.

Answer 1

Your daughter still thinks you and she are one. People make up this garbage about what little kids need to do, to rationalize the nasty way people treat their kids. Little babies do not need to learn to get used to other people in mother's absence. There is little more harmful to an infant than that. Do everything in its time, not before. If you take a seedling before it's hardened off and put it in the sun, it withers and dies. Even tho older plants benefit from the sun.

She's too young for you to leave her. If you feel guilty when you leave her, that's because your conscience is working as it is supposed to. Guilt is what we feel when we do something wrong and leaving a 3 week old is wrong. Period.

Really, why on earth do you feel the need for a break already? I was still quite blissed out at that point. Are you not nursing?

In fact, more than 10 hours a week separation from mommy for the first few years is utterly devastating to a child's trust, intellect, emotional well being, social skills, connection to mommy and daddy.

When your husband gets home, take a half hour walk or shower or chat on the phone. Other than that, this is heavy duty duty for a few years. Nursing your child is the easiest way to take care of her and reduce stress for yourself, because of the hormone produced in nursing moms - oxytocin.

Answer 2

You feel like that because you are a good mom. Most moms worry when they leave their kids. It does not matter if you want the vacation, or if you know they are well taken care of and are fine without you. That is part of the maternal instinct. It is Mother Nature's way to make certain that if the mother does take a break from the child, it won't be for long. This is why we worry even when we know there is no reason to worry. Your kids will be fine and so will you. Go take a break. It is actually much better for the children if the mother cant take a little break now and again to get refreshed.

Answer 3

Don't feel guilty for having some "me" time. It is something you really should do, you will be a better mom for doing it. I have three children, 4 if you count my hubby lol. And used to feel like I had to be "super mom". But then I realized that I was way too stressed out to even enjoy being a mom. I found that if I took some time to do things for me that I was able to take better care of my kids. I learned to grab a few minutes while they napped to read a good book, or get on the computer for a while, or relax in the tub. And then I learned that it is ok to get help from family. Trading babysitting times so I could grab a movie or dinner with hubby or friends. And just de-stress. Being a mom is awesome, but remember that a happy mom raises happy kids. Good luck hon, have you some guilt free "mom" time. Your daughter will thank you for it in the long run.

Answer 4

Although your child is only three weeks old, she is already starting to learn the skills that will help her through life - and being with people other than Mom is a very important life skill. You and your daughter were essentially the same person for nine months, and it is natural to feel strange being away from her now. But it is something that you need to learn, for her sake, how to do. As far as making it is easier is concerned:

1. Don't leave her with anyone who you don't trust. If your instincts say "no", pay attention to them.
2. Do communicate concerns that you have with your care-givers. You are the world's greatest authority on this baby, and you should expect others to follow your rules, whether or not they agree with you.
3. Start small, and let your comfort zone increase naturally. Don't force yourself to stay away longer than you want to.

Answer 5

Ah, the eternal question: Am I a bad Mom if I take time for me? - The answer is NO it makes you a better mom. A tired grouchy resentful mom (or dad) isn't what any child needs. They need a happy loving and supportive parent and to do that right sometimes you need you time. If you have someone who can care for the baby while you get your hair cut or nails done, even just go to the library for a book - use that resource. Remember you will be a parent from now on but you will be you for the rest of your life. If you don't take time to take care of you everyone suffers. It's OK to take a little time away from baby it will be healthy for both of you. Learn to take care of yourself now before you get in the bad habit of ignoring your needs for others and learn to resent it. Better a few spoiled minutes away now then a future full of quite resentment and regret for becoming a parent at all. Good Luck!

Answer 6

For the sake of your child, 'Me' time is very necessary, especially if it is your first child. Being a first time mother can be very over whelming and stressful. Sometimes we feel lonely and detached from the world. Sometimes finding a mothers helper (a teenage neighbor), to mind the child while you shower or make dinner or leave your child with a responsible family member and get out there and have some time to yourself. No need to feel guilty, we all do it, and some need to do more of free time.

Answer 7

Take her to Grama's house

Answer 8

what kind of time out are you thinking about? you need to be there for your child. God gives us children so we can nurture them, love them, and take care of them, not to "take time out for ourselves." have your husband take care of her while you take a nice warm bubble bath. you should feel guilty for not wanting to be with your children. sorry, that is how i feel.