how can school bullies live with themselves knowing what they are doing?

Question

I was bullied relentlessly at school, and for pretty much anything, I liked to be different than others when I was at school, I had an interest in science and history, so I was bullied for that, I liked to read, I was bullied for that, I liked Rugby League instead of football, I was bullied for that. I got beaten up for the things I liked How can bullies live with themselves knowing what they are doing? I hate bullies, they don't just torment you, they take away your dignity!

I have to admit, I left school when was 16 (if there are any Americans reading this, you can leave school aged 16 in Britain.) and when I was 18, I saw the person that bullied me when I was at school, he was still acting like an idiot, and did try to apologise for what he'd done to me at school (I mentioned I got beat up by him, well, he broke 3 of my ribs and fractured my eye socket.) And still he remained in school. Anyway, he tried to apologise for whet he'd done, he also gave me a sob story, by telling me he was thrown out of his house, and that people were after him. He did try to apologise (though I knew it wasn't a genuine apology) so I just laughed at him, as I knew he didn't really mean it, I just told him "what goes around, comes around, you bullied not just me, but other people in school and now you are being bullied and you don't have anyone to turn to, now you know how I and the others felt, you made my life a misery, and I refuse to accept your apology."

Answer 1

It's simply because people assume their actions don't have consequences or actually don't care.

When I was at primary school I was bullied and I think this is because when you are a very young child you don't really have such a sense of morality and empathy to realise you are hurting someone and this is bad.

I was lucky in that the secondary school I went to was a church school and the staff were quite religious and took a very serious stance on this issue. Bullies were suspended and if they did it again expelled. I was a huge target for bullying because firstly I was fat and secondary I was really unusual (well pretty damn eccentric to be fair).

Speaking generally I would say one of the main causes of bullying is fear. When you are at school you are more vulnerable and afraid than at any other point in your life, your life is very complex and you are having to adapt every day. Because of this kids live with a feeling of dread or frustrationm inside them a significant proportion of the time. Acne, homework, exams, problems with parents, money issues, girls, boys, sex, smoking, highly competative sports, teachers... this list goes on. Some kids will vent this frustration in positive ways like playing football, rugby, chess, warhammer, tennis etc, by hanging about in groups gossiping and bitching, by trying to sleep their way around the 6th form, or by picking on people different to them.

I think the reason bullies can live with themselves is because they feel better in themselves because victimising others is their way of coping with life. It's not a moral, clever or constructive way but it is possibly the only way they have.

Also there is a huge culture of pier pressure and a lot of kids realy want to fit in with the rest. If they pick on those they see as "outsiders" who don't try to fit in all the time then they are clearly marking themselves as an "us" and not a "them".

I think most bullies regret their actions in later life, those that don'y regret them will just stay bullies all their lives. I am sure you know a few adults who remain the "school bully" at work or even in their home life (wife beaters for example). I think these people are the really sad ones, they would rather revel in their own cruelty than grow up to be a proper adult.

Answer 2

Your dignity is not something that can
be taken away. It has to be given away.
A bully has little or no idea of what he
is doing or causing. It is just his reply
to being victimized in some way himself.
Children that are bullies are usually the
most scared of all. Pity them, they have
been tormented and are cowards because
of it. What goes around, comes around.
You have talents and skills, a bully usually
has nothing. Not even friends,or enemies,
for long. They go through life alone..if they
can't find a way to change the cycle.
All they ever needed as a child, was a friend
who could understand what they were going
through. For most of them it never came.
Some remain bullies, and have a somewhat
miserable life even as adults.

Answer 3

Its true what they say, bullies are stupid and insecure so they take out their frustration on normal kids.
One of many things you will find when you leave school is and when you make something of yourself in the future you will find them hanging around town drinking from cider and wine bottles and looking for handouts, for example they are destened to become bums!!!!!!
I had a hard time at school from 3 bullies otherweise my time at school would have been fine but i always reminded myself i would get my own back when im older.
A few years after leaving school i was confronted by one in the town centre and i kicked the sh1t out of him and it felt so ritchous.
The second one died before i got my hands on him and the last one i saw was in hospital while i was visiting my brother, he was hooked up to a mobile drip while smoking a cigorette at the main doors, at this point it has been 19 years since i left school and since i last saw this bully who was last on my list
After speaking to him he claimed he didn't remember me which i was annoyed at or he was affraid of me.
His body was rotting due to drink and drugs, and i walked away knowing i didn't have to do anything to him because i felt sorry for him, in my eyes he got what was coming to him.
The moral of this story is, (you are better in everyway possable to them) and they are not and time will tell, they will get their own torment.
I hope you enjoyed this story because it is true.
One other thing courage also comes with age you might find when you get older you will think, i could have fought like this when i was at school, drat.

Answer 4

I don't think bullies care about anyone but themselves. I think the only reason they bullied u was cos they didn't like any1 that was doing things different from them, their narrow minded and only think wot they r doing their whole peer group should be doing.

Answer 5

In my opinion, bullies are not like us. The worst ones are psychopathic. They don't seem to feel much beyond base pleasures. Expecting them to feel remorse is like expecting a rock to sculpt itself into a heart.

The ones that upset me the most at school weren't the psychopaths. It was the ordinary kids who didn't start things, but joined in when trouble started. Why did they do that? They could be kind one minute and then your enemy the next. It messes you up, that kind of treachery.

I could fear the "dog" that barked and snapped at me and understand that that was his way. But what of the kid that hides behind me, pushing me into harms way.

It was fear that made them behave that way. They didn't seem to know how to make kindness be the path for everyone to follow. They didn't want to become tomorrow's victim.

Answer 6

Bullies are shallow little losers who live on Jealousy! alot of Bullys are dumb as well! they dont understand things so they get all mad about it? and do you notice how they always have to be in numbers to pick on one person most of the time! also, notice how sometimes the smallest one in the group has the most gob on him! theres this social crap going on as well! where everyone likes everyone to do the same thing as they do or its uncool etc. these people need to grow up and start focusing on themselves and improve their attitudes

Answer 7

i dont think bullies can live with themselves, even when they get what they done to others, most still carry on like t**ts.

Answer 8

They can live with themselves because they have the brains of a cauliflower. The only things they know to do are to eat when hungry and lash out at anyone they don't like/can't understand (i.e. everyone.)
Perhaps try tying their shoelaces together, they'll spend the rest of the year trying to figure out how to untie them again and so won't have time to bother you.

Answer 9

'cause they do not know any better. i was bullies all through out my school years. lately i saw some of them. and you know what they looked terrible,hearded that their lives were rotten also. and i was,still happy knowing this. as my life is good. and theirs is not. REVENGE IS SOOOOOOO SWEET.

Answer 10

One thing you probably noticed is something is lacking ,that why they over compensate ,that's why they bully ,most times its brains.