My 3 year old daughter has been taking gymnastics classes for about 6 months. She loves it. Two weeks ago, a little girl started in her class who has taken a liking to my daughter. This girl is very clingy, touchy, and wants to hold my daughters hand all the time. Now, this is OK, except, my daughter is NOT into it and get's really annoyed and whiney when she doesn't get left alone. Last week, because the two of them were fighting, they were both asked to leave class early. I have tried to talk with the Mother, but she thinks its cute that her daughter likes my daughter and can't see the issue. My daughter doesn't want to go anymore.
Should I make her work through this (I feel bad about this, but I hate to take away gymnastics when I know she likes it).
Or...Should I just take her out of the class completely? The new girl isn't going anywhere.
Other ideas?
2007-02-11 10:54:34 · 10 answers · asked by Wendy B 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Did you talk to the teacher? Is the class offered on different days? Maybe your daughter can go one day and the other little girl go another day. Young children tend to be clingy, but if your daughter doesn't like it, she has the right to be left alone. Maybe you, the teacher, and psycho mom should have a talk about it.
2007-02-11 10:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by So_many_questions 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that other mother should talk to her daughter about some people not liking to be touched by others all the time and how it's not OK to touch someone when they don't want you to. It is cute and all, but it's not ok if your daughter isn't comfortable with it. But, it sounds like telling the mother that is not going to go anywhere. I'm assuming you have already talked to the instructor. If not, maybe she can help. Maybe she can just keep them at different places in line or something like that. She should be helping the situation, too, not just leaving it up to the kids to deal with their own problems (especially at that age) and punishing them by kicking them out of class. I would keep your daughter in. She loves it, and she should be able to stay. No matter where you take her, there are going to be kids that do things she doesn't like. They may pick on her or stand too close or continually cut in front of her in line. It will be the same thing when she starts school. There are a lot worse things that could happen to her. I'm not saying your daughter's feelings aren't valid. There are a lot of people who don't like to be touched. I, personally, don't feel comfortable in most settings being within a couple feet of people I don't really know well or like, but there are times I have to deal with it. However, your daughter should not be forced into physical contact with someone if she's not comfortable with it. Try talking to the instructor. She should be doing her part, too. Tell her if she's not going to help make the situation better, than you'll go out there with your daughter. It's not just her job to teach, she has to maintain discipline, too, just like any teacher.
2007-02-12 11:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your daughter should quit going.
But, I do think she has the right to be left alone. Everyone should feel as though they have their own personal space.
Talk to the instructor about it. Maybe she can make sure the girls stay separated. And have another talk to the mother. Tell her your daughter has as much right to be there as hers and that her daughter should not be allowed to do whatever she pleases if it upsets another human being.
If the mother won't cooperate and the instructor can't help, find another gymnastics class. If that isn't available, maybe she can try some other hobby, like dancing or something.
2007-02-11 19:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Joy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a shame, is there another time your daughter can take the class when this girl won't be there? Did you try talking to the teacher of the class, she could put a stop to it. I'd try to work through it if you can - use it as a learning experience - this other little girl won't be the last pushy, clingy person your daughter meets - try to help your daughter deal with it. Maybe tell your daughter it's o.k. to tell this little girl to leave her alone - maybe have her tell the girl that she'd like to be her friend but she has to keep her hands to herself. Teach your daughter to set up personal boundaries.
2007-02-12 09:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what the other posters said, if the mom won't cooperate you should talk to the teacher about it and see if the teacher will talk to the mom. If that doesn't work, you should try to send her to class on a different day or at a different location.
You definitely shouldn't take her out of gymnastics entirely.
Or your daughter could bite the other girl if she won't leave her alone. I know that sounds awful but I used to do that when I was about that age and it always worked.
2007-02-11 19:12:12 · answer #5 · answered by cg17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to the INSTRUCTOR. You daughter should not have to feel uncomfortable. The instructor needs to control the activity of the children. If s/he won't, I'd walk over and intervene myself, especially since talking to the mother did no good. When that child started clutching, I'd walk over and gently take the child's hand off my child and sweetly say, "Use your words, not your hands."
That child needs to learn boundaries. Your daughter should not be deprived of what she was enjoying because a clingy child has joined the group. How unfair!
2007-02-11 19:07:01 · answer #6 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should discourage her from quitting especially if she loves it so much. She shouldn't have to think that because someone won't leave her alone, she has to give up the things she wants. I would try discussing the problem with the teacher as well as the mother, if possible together. This would be the fairest thing to do for your daughter.
2007-02-12 02:31:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Swooping down and rescuing your daughter every time she is in a situation she's not completely comfortable with will never teach her how to deal with real life. She will always expect rescuing or abandon sticky situations because that is what she has been taught. Let her figure it out on her own. We will always find someone we don't like, but we need to know how to handle them. Definitely let her figure it out on her own, Good luck:)
2007-02-11 19:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by Brandielion 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you were right to talk to the mother. I also think that you should mabye enroll your daughter in a different gymnastics program mabye at a different location.
2007-02-11 18:59:43 · answer #9 · answered by Dana D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could always transfer the classes or tell the instructor
2007-02-11 18:59:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋