Tell me why some men do not pay child support?

Question

We have 2 children and I am the custodial parent providing everything (food, clothing, school expenses, insurance) and he sees them every other weekend. We both have jobs.

Answer 1

because he is a DEADbeat, and needs JAIL time

Answer 2

I am not sure that I have figured this one out yet myself. I have two children also. I do not receive child support for either child, but my son's father is at least involved, which is the most important thing. My daughter's father hasn't bothered with her in years, and refuses to pay his court ordered child support. I think in general, some men do not pay their child support because they can get away with it. For the most part, the jails are so overcrowded, that a judge will not impose incarceration on someone for a monetary issue such as child support. However, if we, as the custodial parents, refused to provide shelter, food and clothing for our children, we would lose custody on the grounds of child neglect. That same rule does not seem to apply to the non-custodial parents. To be fair though, there are plenty of non-custodial mothers out there too that do not pay child support. So I think the problem lies with the courts not enforcing the court ordered support due to these children. The question really should be why do the courts not enforce the support of children by both of the parents, rather than forcing the custodial parent to make up for the lack of support by the noncustodial parent.

Answer 3

it is a way to further TORMENT you, the Responsible Parent for the Care you are giving the child ... and a way to Maintain their "controlling abuse" even after the Divorce.

They also see it as soemthing that they can AVOID easily -- because state child support enforcement services are woefully inadequate to take care of the needs of ALL the children out of divorce nowadays.

Then there are those seeing that "IF I do not give the child support -- what is the WORST that can happen?" -- the only thing done is that the Child Support Enforcement Bureaus just take down the facts, put down a total for Arrearages (only the Basic -- and NOT the Medical Costs/Co-Pays/Deductibles, NOT the Shared Costs, NOT the Child Care Fees, and NOT any other directed costs) -- which means that the State is WOEFULLY UNDERREPORTING the Amount of Child Support Arrearages in its Jurisdiction!

What is the state going to do ... Basically NOTHING .. not even investigate -- that has to be done by the Responsible Parent (when the ex shows up all of a sudden -- by getting photos, writing down license plate information, etc). Then ... passing it along to where he NOW lives (another state) -- they are NOT going to work that either!

Insurance? Why pay for insurance when the Responsible Parent does -- that means a big chunk out of their paycheck .. and yes, they then use it for Alcohol, Gambling, Fancy Vacations, new Cars, and other Luxuries that the RESPONSIBLE PARENT can NOT afford at all!

That they can SELFISHLY Use all of their income for THEMSELVES -- yes, that Fancy new TV, that Fancy Car, trade in the car at all times, live it up, have multiple affairs, go on vacations, gamble, drink, whatever .. that is what is done INSTEAD of paying child support.

Then .. OOPS -- they got too close -- are talking to my employer. TIME to QUIT the Job, go on unemployment or the public dole, and AVOID paying for a while .. change addresses, get a Rental Postal Box (from one of the MANY companies that do this), etc etc etc.

Answer 4

Some men feel that as long as they spend time with their kids that all the support that you need. Knowing that isn't the going to provide the child with food, shelter or clothing. If they can get over the fact that the money isn't for you. It's to help provide for the children. Then men shouldn't have a problem. Most of the are just sorry. But, if you can't get him to come to some reasonable agreement as far as how he needs to support the kids more. Then take him to court. If men could just sit down and talk things out and hold up to their fatherly duties.Going to court for child support wouldn't be a issue.

Answer 5

I am not sure why because I am not a man, But I do know that the ones that don't are deadbeat dads. It takes more than weekend visits to raise a child. And he should be paying you for that. I would take him to court. Go to your locale department of social services or family court offices and find out what you can do. If he was already ordered by the court to pay and isn't then you need to find out what they can do to help make him pay. My ex just got out of jail for not paying. He had to either fork over the back support or do 1yr. Hopefully he will keep up now that he knows what will happen. lol good luck hon.

Answer 6

There are a couple ways you can handle it:
1) Tell him you want him to have the kids half the time.
2) Take him to court.

I like number 1 better because he has to pay, it gets him more involved, and it doesn't cause hard feelings the way a court order does.

Answer 7

a new man in your life might make him not pay, i know a guy that quit paying when his kids started being forced to call his x-wife's new boyfriend daddy, his simple logic was if he wants to be daddy let him pay,one thing i give that guy he got sooo mad he told the judge to go ahead and keep him in jail because he was not going to pay,he was pissed,whenever he does his 6 months he willingly goes back and turns his self in for non payment.and they arrest him again and again.............wonder how long they'll do that?

Answer 8

well the honor system doesnt work, thats been proven.

its because some fathers wont pay unless they are forced to.

you need to put some heat on your case. if you have a court order for child support call your case worker. ask for a child support enforcement hearing. at the hearing ask for a two week stupulation (or what ever its called in your state) where if he is late two weeks, they can issue a bench warrant for him.

if your caseworker isnt on the ball, report it to the FEDS.

write a letter. in it give your contact info, case number, arrears amount, his info and the problem. ask them what they are doing about it.

then send that ONE letter to the following:

1) your states Attorney General
2) your states Governor
3) your caseworker
4) your Regional FEDERAL Child Support Office

FAX IT. phone calls are ignored, denied and forgotten. mail ends up in someones 'to do' pile. Faxing it is proof you sent it and proof it was recieved, therefor, they HAVE to address it. i have found it to be most effective. that'll put some heat on the case.

if you cant find the fax number on your states reps websites (they sometimes hide it) then call and ask for it. its public knowlege and you are allowed to know your reps fax number.

here are some links: just click on your state and find the subject you need. some links are also for your reps and for you to find your Regional Federal Child Support Office. the last few are for you.

ONE MORE THING: POST HIS DEADBEAT FACE ON A DEADBEAT SITE ONLINE:

http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/collectchildsupport

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html

http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/

http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html

FIND YOUR STATE REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html

http://www.womenslaw.org/
http://www.nwlc.org/
http://www.womenslawproject.org/
http://www.nwwlc.org/
http://www.women-law.org/
http://www.hg.org/women.html
http://www.law.com/jsp/nj/specials.jsp?p=contact
http://law-library.rutgers.edu/ilg/njlaw.php
http://www.aclu.org/womensrights/index.html
http://www.hud.gov/offices/pih/programs/hcv/about/fact_sheet.cfm
http://www.hud.gov/offices/pih/programs/hcv/forms/index.cfm
http://www.hud.gov/offices/pih/pha/contacts/
http://www.singlemoms.org/info/main.htm
http://www.singlemotherresources.com/
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/njcomputerchick
http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/chapterfind.asp
http://www.mowaa.org/
http://modestneeds.org/
http://freecycle.org/
http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn.nsf
http://www.redcross.org/where/chapts.asp
http://www.angeltree.org
http://www.secretsanta.org/
http://www.secretsanta.org/santacontent.aspx?ctype=13
http://www.coastside.org/id28.htm
http://www.christmaswish.org/
http://www.christmasorganizing.com/
http://www.toysfortots.org/donate/toys.asp

Answer 9

they dont feel they have too.go to social services or the local child support office.they will make him.

Answer 10

Because he is an irresponsible jerk. Guys who are like that are just pathetic.

Answer 11

sometime's it because of the live in boy friend getting the money spent on them. instead of the kid's ???