I keep telling him I don't want to be with him. He wont leave me alone and doesn't believe I am serious

Question

I guess it is because I do like him as a friend so I am nice to him.I just don't want anything more. It makes me sad because I know I am breaking his heart more and more as time goes by, but I can't just be mean to him.
We tried a relationship for 2 months and it did NOT work for me. He thinks it is because I am scared of commitment due to a failed marige.(over 10 years ago..i am way over it)
I tell him that it is due to not wanting to settle down with the wrong person! I have tried everything aside from ignoring him. Told him about my dates, encourage him to date others etc...
ANY IDEAS?

Answer 1

Been there. The nicer you are, the worse it gets. Because here you think you're letting him down easy. And he thinks you're just so incredibly nice because you're sparing his feelings, and that just validates his feelings for you even more. Sometimes you really can't keep an old flame as a friend, no matter how hard you try. You can't make him go back to being just friends if that's not where he's willing to be. If you really want him as a friend down the road, you're going to have to really ignore him for awhile. A long while. In time, his feelings should cool and you'll be able to approach him as a friend, and by then he may be more receptive to that.