Girls, I need some advice...?

Question

Well... I'm 15 and I'm with this guy right now. I really really like him, but, sice parents are parents, they automatically hate him without ever meeting him or giving us a chance. I don't like going behind their backs to see him, but it's the only way. I haven't seen him for over two weeks and it's really taking its toll on both of us. What should I do? I don't want to give this guy up. Everytime something good finally happens to me, it feels like some invisible force creeps up behind me and pulls everything from under my feet.

This is difficult because my parents know that I was sorta messing around with the last boyfriend I had. Right now they aren't letting me go anywhere with friends or outside of my community service club. They really don't trust me because I have lied about times that I've seen him, but I can't help it. They don't trust me anymore, which I completely understand, but it just makes me feel like crap. And, besides, he may be a cool guy, but he doesn't have the best record, either.

Answer 1

My friend was in the same situation as you, and she chose to see the guy anyway. Unfortunately, after a while she started to have emotional breakdowns cuz she was so tired of having to lie to her parents. Soon after that started, their parents caught them, and a huge fight began. Now she regrets having seen him without telling her parents the truth. My point is, lying to your parents is not the best way to go. It tore her apart, and she and her bf started to have disagreements on the issue too. I recommend sitting down with your parents and asking them to trust you and give this guy a chance. Explain in a mature way that this means a lot to you, and maybe ask if he can come over for dinner one night so they can meet him themselves. However, be warned: your parents are probably more worried about you having a serious relationship at age 15 than they are about this one individual guy. I don't think they hate him personally, I think they're just not sure about you having a relationship. But if you're really ready, you should try to prove that you are mature enough to handle this! And the best way to do that is to keep the trust of your parents, not lie to them! Hope this helped, and good luck!

Edit: So I saw your added details just now, and I guess that does make things difficult. But I still think that if you ever want your parents to trust you again (with any guy), you're going to have to be honest with them. Not to mention you will feel MUCH better when you're not lying to them. Trust me. :)

Answer 2

Oh you are going through something very typical for your age. Just remember that there are consequences for choices we make. Your parents will always be your parents so your relationship with them should be most important. BUT I remember being 15 and it's hard when you have those feelings. Maybe try talking to the parent you are closer to about this guy and try to help them understand why he is important. If you show maturity about the situation they may listen better, but you know your own parents better than anyone.

Answer 3

I remember when i felt like that. I'm 25 and i acan guarantee it dont get better with the parents and thier idea of who you should date. Just try talking to the parent that your the closest to and ask them to just meet and talk to him. If it is a racial thing then what your parents believe is very hard to change. Just talk to them and let them know how you feel about the guy and ask them to just meet him. But if they dont like him respect your parents wish and move on, Your just 15 and there are a lot of fish in the sea. If you know what I mean.

Answer 4

I think you should tell your parents that they should meet your boyfriend for themselves. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean that it's bad. boyfriends help you understand the feelings and ways of a guy. It's sort of educational. Maybe you should tell your parents all the details about him and maybe if they see that he's a nice person, they'll be convinced.

Answer 5

Parents are parents. Just go ahead to have a good time with him. Sooner or later, ur parents will notice how much u enjoy being around him and like him. Also invite him over with ur parents permission and that might get ur parents to like him better.

Answer 6

Honestly? Break the rules and go out with him. You have to go through these decisions once in a while, and they build you're character and make you who you are. No matter what you decide, you'll always take away experience and knowledge.

Answer 7

here's something i tell my friends:"dont let your parents choose for u but let them be in support of whom u choose".first i think u should ask them if they think u are too young to ave a boyfriend,tell them u dont want to lie to them or do things behind their back so that they will be able to advise u on things u cant handle on your own cos emotions has to do with the heart and it can break u if u dont handle it well,u'll be needing their advice from time to time,talk to them.

Answer 8

i know how that feels parents are parents an it doesnt matter wat they think wat makes u happy makes u happy an in the end it will work out they cant tell u who u can love ur heart has its ways of its self u cant tell it wat to do it does it by itself an to tell u the truth try not seeing him for 4 years its alot harder an to know u cant see someoen for 4 years is a killer just keep strong an dont let little thangs get u down i will be praying that ur family sees the love u too have for each other

someone who is praying for u

Answer 9

Have you tried really talking to your parents? Perhaps you can sit them down for a heart to heart.

Answer 10

Invite him over for games and dinner. Everyone can meet everyone. That should make things easier and more comfortable for everybody.