My 15yr old bro smokes weed...I dont agree but what is best to do...as his sister?

Question

hello my twin brothers smoke weed? The women who gave birth to me is a drunk, has offered me drugs to lose weight after i had baby just want to add this befor i get any feisty messages saying look how i talk about her...anyway SUBJECT. They are 15 and smoke weed i know the things they witness at home as i have been there...they have her stuff to deal with my 20yr old brother who doesnt have much to do with the family which i dont blame him its not a family really....there is not one jus us and the mother has managed to turn it to a crack head family to be honest...so he manages to stay more with his gf and her family and shows his face when he tries to act all clever and better and manly where i know alot will say thats what they need a man...but they dont respect him....so i dont know how to be with them they are only 15 so they dont have that much money but this saturday i let the sleep over and they had 1!!!! spliff that is..........I let them outside as i feel our family is...

the family is so messed up and they trust me and relate to me not because i take drugs or anything as i dont but i do give them a family home with me and my partner and my children....i know they only smoke it threw stress as i did at 16 and grew out of it in a yr....should i over look this and not pressure them as i know whats its like to feel alone and i dont want them to feel like they cant truse me what do you think??????????? with these currcumstances

before we get childish people i know i spelt some words wrong type very fast and forgot to use spell check

thanks jarrells that was what i needed to hear i still want others opinions just this answer was straight to the point understanding of the situation ...thanks

I am 23 my partner is 28...we are both professionals good jobs is what i mean...i tried this and my mother called police on me when she kicked one of them out to the streets....i took him in called her to see what is going on and she tried get me done for harsment rang my work tried well did make me lose my job i have another one..so its ok...she then tricked one of the boys around her house then had his dad who they have no relastionship with take him to usa he missed 2mnths of school he is now back again...and i dont know what to do...can i fight for custody of my brother

is it true when they are 16 over here in the uk they can live where they want

Answer 1

Yes at 16 you can live where you want, as your in the UK and your mother seems unfit to be a good one have you thought of reffering the case to social services and getting a temporary care order. I would ring some service like a childrens charity of family support agency for advice or enquire to social services without putting any names forward, to be honest although you have a secure family life style yourself it seems you have many demons from your past and some counselling wouldn't go a miss. You obviously resent your mother with good reason and have probaly brought your brothers up when you where at home and feel a motherly responsibilty to them but don't let it tear your own new family apart, by your need to fill your mothers lacking responsibilities. Get help and support from someone who knows more about the laws/financial assistance in cases like this.
And if it's any consellation Parents they can sure f**k you up, but i'm sure their errors will make you learn from all their mistakes and into a fabulous parent I know I have and intend to be:o)

Answer 2

If you saw your baby brother's about to put their fingers in the wall socket as they crawled around, you'd stop them and warn them of the danger and you wouldn't hesitate to rip them away from the damn thing, right?
Why are you not treating this the same way? Drug use is DANGEROUS. They are CHILDREN. They need to learn from a grown up that it is wrong. IT IS WRONG.
You should definately talk to them before anyone else and you should ask them why. After that, though, you must insist that it is unacceptable behaviour and that there will be consequences if they do it again.
Consequences like social services, police and real TROUBLE.
It is a lot for your young shoulders to bear, but I believe that your doing this would be a caring act.
Good luck
Sue

Answer 3

I think you should definitely tell them how you feel about it but don't push them to stop. Ultimately it is their decision to stop smoking. Look on the bright side they could be doing harsher drugs than weed. Since they trust you offer them some constructive criticism unlike what their mother has done so far. Enough to let them know you love them and are not against them. Keep your head up also and pray for God to guide you with a way to deal with your brothers.

Answer 4

well.. i'd let them know you are there for him no matter what.. my brother smokes weed.. through pleasure now lol although he started through family stress, i don't actually think weed is a problem until it gets to the point where they cant go a day without it and are stealing things to get money for it.. my brother is a happy chappy on it and can go a week without it or even two or three.. i think your mother (or egg donor then lol) possibly shouldn't have her kids with her anymore but i dont know the full story and its not part of the question lol, but as a big sis i think the best thing you can do is be supportive as much as you can.. good luck xx

Answer 5

If all this is going on and for a long time maybe social services know of the family if so have a word with them only do remember they are your brothers and you are doing a better job than your mum just be there for them

Answer 6

sigh, its a tricky one and one that probably he will only learn. two tips of advice:

1) DO NOT come on all strong and authoritative and say do not smoke weed its bad for you and will ruin your life!

2) DO show your displeaure at him smoking this and preferably not let hime smoke it at your home.

Its a fine balance, if you do number 1) it will give hime a kick at of smoking behind your back etc etc. Tell him politely and calmly and caringly that he MUST change soon in the months to come for his sake and for those around him. Also suggest to him what positive changes he could make to his life, eg joining a footy team or any sports. Something that will benefit HIM. If anything let him smoke but show him your feelings and displeasure with it. If he persists with smoking for months and months and shows no sign of quitting you will have to NOT let him smoke at your home and cut him off for a while.

Answer 7

You need to get your brothers off the weed. They are only 15 and they are using illegal drugs. There is a reason why they are illegal. You know it is a problems or you wouldn't be posting the question.

Just be very supportive to your brothers and try to get them help.

Answer 8

Your whole family needs help. Call Child Protective Services/

Answer 9

Sounds to me like its time you contacted Family Services. Your Mom is only ruining their lives. They need to be in a stable enviroment. If you really want to help them, call soon before its tooooooo late.

Answer 10

i'd talk to them about it first and ask them why they're doing what they're doing, try to reason with them. also, you could talk to someone like a school counselor, or family services. do the best you can to try to help them without making them feel like they're worthless and bad. try to keep their spirits up as well, as your family situation doesn't sound too good.