is there any hope for me?

Question

im 45, suffer from morbid obesity, diabetes, live with my parents, have a 59 year old boyfriend who still lives with his dfad due to major health problems, am 60 K in debt, have a good job but due to high interest rate on credit cards, am unable to really pay them down, am in a constant state of stress anxiety and worry, and fear for my future. I have no siblings to rely on, my parents are slowly but surely aging (mom already shows early signs of alzheimers), and all i can really think is "woe is me". Luckily, my dad is her orimary care giver, but they also have their own set of issues with money management. my future looks bleak, im scared, this is all for real, nothing has been exaggerated, and there are even other negative issues, which I cant even begin to write about or explain in any articulate way. so i send this out into the websphere and wonder, is there any hope, at all, for me? or am i doomed to live a horrid existence, with no hopes of improvement? be honest, i can take it.

Answer 1

I am of the belief that as long as you have life there is hope.

I would think that your health issue is the most important issue for you right now because without good health, you can't function or deal with your other issues.

Work with a medical doctor to help you get your weight down because as you know being overweight is very bad for diabetics.
Get some advice for managing your weight, diabetes, and over all health. Don't expect to get well over night because if you do it right it will take some time, but that's okay.

The key is to get on the road to recovery, and remember good health is a life long endeavor. It's not something you do once and forget about it. Maybe you and your boyfriend can give each other moral support to accomplish the things you want to accompolish.

As far as the stress, try to find some quiet time whereby you can pray or meditate or listen to some relaxing music.

Read some books on debt management. You might want to look at a book titled "Zero Debt: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Freedom" by Lynnette Khalfani.

You may also want to read some books by Suze Orman and Clark Howard. I think they have some books that might deal with debt management. Of course there are other sources of information out there that deal with getting out of debt.

The over all important thing you need to do is to start to take control of your situation by being active as oppose to reactive.
In other words do what you can to learn about how to manage your diabetes, your debt, etc. and you will start to feel a since of empowerment as oppose to feeling so overwhelmed all the time.

Don't get me wrong. It will be difficult, but once you start to deal with your issues and work towards making them a little better, you will be taking control of the situation instead of it taking control of you.

It's never hopeless unless you allow it to be. Take things one step at a time.

I bid you peace.

Answer 2

It sounds like your biggest problem is your "constant state of stress anxiety and worry". I think some professional counseling (no, it isn't that expensive), could really help you. You might even need an antidepressant. Worry and stress solve nothing. You have to recover emotionally before you can recover financially or physically. Next, get in touch with a financial advisor or accountant to see what can be done to get those credit cards under control. Maybe they can be consolidated and put into a payment plan and a new budget plan can be devised for your situation. Don't worry about leaving your parent's house just yet. Make plans, but get these other concerns under control first.
See a doctor about getting a reasonable and achievable health plan for yourself. You don't have to lose all the weight at once. But a little at a time with some minor exercise and an improved diet can really make a difference.
Try to stay positive. Take action. Address your life's three problems:
1) Depression, 2) Health, 3) Finances.
1) See a counselor, 2) See a doctor/trainer, 3) See a financial advisor
Please don't worry. Worry accomplishes nothing. Set small achievable goals. You can and will have a better life!

Answer 3

um, well, without being too brutally honest, i think you need some help. your parents will need more help than you will be able to provide soon, you might want to talk to a home care association to see what options you will have available in the next few years. you should probably see both a bankruptcy lawyer for your financial woes, a possibility is something called a "consumer proposal", it's like a consolidation loan but not as bad for your record as bankruptcy is on your credit report. you should also contact a therapist or mental health worker for your self-esteem issues, if you are brave enough to ask for help here, you can talk to a licensed professional who is trained to help you through these problems. Your Doctor can also refer you to a dietitian to help with the weight problems since being diabetic and overweight is not a good combination, i lost an aunt to these problems 2 years ago and don't want to see anyone else go through the same thing.

I wish you the best of luck : ) keep smilin'

Answer 4

Have you heard the saying, "How do you eat an elephant?" "One bite at a time." My suggestions to you is, choose one area to improve, and I suggest your health, cause then you'll feel better. Since money is a problem, I know healthy foods are more expensive, but try to cut down on junk. Make your portions smaller. If you drink soda, switch to diet. Drink more water. Make yourself do some sort of excercise daily, even if it's just walking around the block. Choose one bill at a time to pay off.
With you looking at such a big picture, it's hard to know where to start. But dont stop/ you need to start. You are in control of your future, and if you do one thing at a time, you may give yourself a boost just to know you accomplished it! Good Luck, don't give up. Life is precious, you just have to know how to live it again, instead of 'surviving.'

Answer 5

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about this. If your health problem is due to bad diet or exercise, I suggest you eat better, sleep on a regular schedule, and exercise routinely. Since you and your boyfriend have health problems, maybe you both should find something to do together that you will like, such as walking/jogging at the park once every few days (make a commitment)

As for your $ debt, I highly suggest you focus on paying them off as soon as possible. You say you have a good salary...dump most of it to fix the debt as soon as you get your paycheck! Don't spend it on unnecessary items like the chocolate bar at the cashier's desk, taxi fare or a nice lunch.

Finally, I suggest you make your life "structured". Wake up at a fixed time every morning, sleep at a fixed time, eat at a fixed time, exercise at a fixed time, and make a fixed financial commitment to your debt (e.g. $100/week). Doing so will help you feel completing personal goals you have set for yourself, and in this way you will "see" yourself progressing out of a bad lifestyle. Good luck!

Answer 6

I think if you have good intensions then things will get better, the universe will manifest more things you want in ur life and u will no longer feel like a victim because you'll be taking more control of things in ur life. also a good therpist will have made u feel wonderous. never give up.never

Answer 7

listen, you can improve your life if your really determined, but why did it get to that point in the first place?? call a doctor start exercising and for gods sake move out of your parents house! your 45 for heavens sake! work hard and keep believing in your self!

Answer 8

dude, why are you telling all of this on the net, number one you need to move out of your mother's house that is truly sad and maybe if you try exercising that may give you more energy and could make you less stressed and date some closer to your age. god bless you

Answer 9

There is ALWAYS hope ! If you live in the UK you can get all sorts of help through benefits :D

Answer 10

no! you have hope! don't give up on yourself! you can do it! get your self a good diet, get yourself a good job, just don't give yourself up! you can go ahead and start working on your new life. okay, just don't give up! okay. alright? you can do it, believe in yourself/