Everything in my life seems to be going wrong. I've got to move out of a home I love and have nowhere to go whilst everything else that could conceivably go wrong, is.
I feel constantly sick and really down and I just cannot relax with everything that's going on. I'm trying to be strong for my girlfriend who's going through all of this with me, but frankly I'm falling apart inside.
How can I stop worrying, get on with things and feel at ease? So far I've come up with the 'get drunk into oblivion' approach, which comes with obvious consequences of course.
2007-02-11 09:21:15 · 12 answers · asked by jonnyjpa 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I am glad you gave the getting drunk the heave- ho. First ,you need to take one problem at a time. When multiple events are occurring at the same time,you have to try and not panic.I know you are feeling overwhelmed, but you need to address your problems with a plan. Speak with your girlfriend, decide what needs to be taken care of IMMEDIATELY. First things first. You need to make a list of priorities.As you tackle each problem,(solve it), and trust me you will, go on to the next. After each problem or situation is taken care of, you will feel ,more relieved, more confident and better in general. You and your girlfriend need to stay strong, supportive and have the attitude, you can get through these trying times."Problems are like a bunch of grapes.You can't eat the whole bunch at once, or you will choke. That is why we eat them one at a time"
2007-02-11 09:58:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with Irish17.
Take the advice, share things with your girlfriend, and don't be surprised when she adds real help to the situation - team work works, allow her to have input and shared responsibility.
Local councils do not usually leave people homeless,, and the Citizens Advice Bureau will definitely be able to help. Google it and find your nearest Bureau....?
Then, when the priorities are set and there are times when you'll be waiting for the next phase, take time out, to care for each other, doing the things you used to both enjoy.
You may not feel totally at ease until more things are sorted, that's the way it goes, but physical exercise definitely will help, to get rid of pent up emotional energy, and then you'll relax. Even a dance around the room with your girlfriend, or a game of footie in the park.
You may not feel like doing any of these things, but we can't always rely on our feelings to get us through, you'll know what's right and there are things that need doing regardless.
Best wishes. God bless.
2007-02-11 21:03:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, kudos to you for knowing that drinking is only going to dig you a deeper hole.
Secondly, you need help. There are resourses out there that can help you but since I'm not sure where you are, I can't help too much in that department.
I'm sure that you've gone over all of the possibilities you can think a million times! have you tried to talk to someone who's not involved who can give you some sort of direction that you haven't thought of yet? Having someone from "outside the box" come in to help you assess the situation could be invaluable to you at this point.
I'm certinly not someone who goes to church or anything like that but I've heard so many times about people speaking to a person of faith often helps. I don't know if that's something your willing to do but it's a thought.
You need to talk to your girlfriend. You need to tell her how you feel and that this is killing you inside! I'm sure you'll find that she's feeling the exact same way but doesn't want to upset you anymore than she already is either.
Honestly, I don't know how you will stop worrying until all of this is over and done with one way or another. But you DO need a break from this chaos that's going on inside your head. Be it the gym, a long run or walk, go to a movie or whatever you need to do to take your mind off this for awhile. I know it's hard. I've been there as well but because I couldn't go anywhere, I learned to figure out how to push all the "bad thoughts" out of my head and be still for awhile. And what do you know? It worked. And it helped me so much that I was able to concentrate on the task at hand and not worry to the point of ...well....I'm sure you're either at that point or close to it.
All THAT took was a book about relaxation, alot of practise but I did it and I'm calm now (for the most part anyways)
I hope this works out for you. You CAN teach yourself to relax...when you're making yourself sick and being really down, you can't concentrate on what to do next. YOU WILL do it though.
You can't give up now. Falling apart or not, things have to get done and your girlfriend needs you. (talk about pressure!!)
Remember that this is temporary and that this time next year you will be in a better place because you're going to BE SURE of that!!
I hope I helped you.
Take care and go try to relax! Find a book that teaches you this. If I can find one on-line, I'll post back here.
Good Luck!
2007-02-11 09:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good thing to do is to be physically active.
After a run or a tour with an bicycle have a shower with changing temperatures. Start with warm water, turn slowly to as cold as you can stand than turn to warm again. Do this 3-6 times and you will feel better. If possible use an expensive after shave and inhale the wonderful odour.
2007-02-11 12:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't drink alcohol it will only make matters worse as its a depressant, but your probably aware of that already. Maybe get professional help initially from a doctor, they may prescribe something or arrange for you to see a councillor to talk through your situation. After talking things through with someone impartial you might find it easier to talk things through with your girlfriend. Or your girlfriend could attend a session with you so you resolve things together and she would know how you feel.
Admittedly if your not naturally an open person this could be quite difficult for you to do.
Hope that helps
2007-02-11 09:45:27 · answer #5 · answered by Unknown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your girlfriend how you feel so you can truly share the burden - at the moment you have it all on your shoulders - men need someone to lean on sometimes too. My boyfriend sometimes hides his worries from me cos he doesn't want to concern me - and it makes me angry - I want to be there for him like he is for me. Be positive, things always work out in the end - just keep picturing in your mind things being sorted out. Stay off the drinking thing - it doesn't solve anything but you sound like you know that already. Good luck.
2007-02-11 09:27:49 · answer #6 · answered by Bexs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consult a counsellor to talk it all through. Also - take 5 mins 3 times per day just to sit and breathe long and slow from the belly.
2007-02-11 21:37:41 · answer #7 · answered by Freethinking Liberal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just dealing with life, life is hard and almost never fair...........but it can change in different directions, just go with the flow, get a bit of fight in you. Set yourself some goals, determine within yourself that you are going to be happy.
Things will start to look up, just relax and see it all as an adventure.
Just chill, your not alone.
2007-02-11 19:51:47 · answer #8 · answered by kez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take one day at a time and I agree that u should tell your girlfriend...it will lighten your burden and also let her know that you need comforting too...just because your the man in the situation doesn't mean you can cope with the stress any easier...help each other through it!:)
2007-02-11 09:31:53 · answer #9 · answered by SH2007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two rules I try to stick to -
1. Don't sweat the small stuff
2. It's all small stuff
2007-02-11 09:24:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋