I raised my daughter alone from 5th grade on with no help from her mother. When she got married I didn't expect her mother to help with anything and she as always paid for nothing, no help with the planning etc either. Of course she was there to eat off of me and her family and her husbands family (the man she married 3 days after our divorce/I say no more about that) well any way she did nothing but complain and ***** about everything. She wanted the table cloths changed at the reception, she hate the colors my daughter picked and on and on, and she made sure everyone there knew of her complaints..this woman paid for ZERO, nothing! I paid over 13k for everything. She even complained how much her hotel cost. I pre-warned the reception people and the church, they were ready for her.
Is my additude wrong?
2007-02-11 09:03:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, no I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, but what purpose is it serving? I mean, this has already happened, you had a hunch it would anyway, so you could look at it this way, at least you weren't disappointed in your ex, she lived up to everything you thought she'd do. I feel bad for your daughter more than you though, this was her wedding day, and that would be tough having your own mother act that way towards your father. I would seriously just forget about it though, it sounds like you're harboring the resentment towards your ex, kinda like someone who just keeps picking off a scab. You won't let it heal, in other words. Just write her off as a petty witch, and move on. Don't let her influence you to this degree, ok? Just be happy with your life, and probably thankful that you had the good sense to get rid of her!
2007-02-11 09:45:39 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. Even if she did pay for something, she would have NO right to complain. This is your DAUGHTER'S wedding!!!! SHE gets to pick out everything including where everyone from out of town stays! (You ex didnt have to come, didnt have to stay at that specific hotel, didnt have to eat there). It doesnt matter if she had been there to help and you guys still had an okay relationship, she has no place to say anything! Even more so because she was not there to help and has not been there since the 5th grade.
2007-02-11 10:14:49 · answer #2 · answered by Andrea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel exactly the same way if I were you. That was really low what she did! Perhaps she feels bad about what she did and wanted to make it look like you didn't do a good job of raising your daughter. Maybe she's trying to make herself look better since she had nothing to do with her daughter's upbringing. Who knows the reason, but she shouldn't have done that. I would be mad about it and it would be hard to forgive her of it, but just remember that you can't change the past and it's over now... hopefully she won't be such a you-know-what in the future.
2007-02-11 09:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by jlg_jdf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I won't say wrong or right, but will ask another question. How do you want to remember your daughter's wedding? With joy or anger? Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? It is your choice either way, and while we don't have to agree with or approve of another's behavior, we do have to choose how we want to live. This is not an easy choice at times, and it may take longer for some than it does for others, but you have to decide what it will take for you to be happy. Forget about the other party's horrid behaviour, you don't have to live with that negativity every day of you life. Know that you did what you did for your daughter and that she knows this. She loves you, let that be enough.
2007-02-11 09:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by madamewitch1106 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong. Your ex-wife really shouldn't have had a say in anything. Actually, since this is your daughter's wedding, she alone should have been the one to decide on the such things as the table cloths and the chosen colors. It was your daughter's special day, not hers.
2007-02-11 09:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by johnsredgloves 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is so sad. She is only hurting your daughter. Try to let it go. She will never change. Be there for your daughter like you always have been and listen to her. Be careful not to vent about her mother, becuase when its all said and done - she is still your daughter's mother and you daughter will always long for a normal relationship with her. Its a hard hard place to be. Your attitude is not wrong, just keep it in check and don't let her bad attitude steal your joy!!!
2007-02-11 09:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by JLSN32 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you have every right to feel that way. I would have told her to put her money where her mouth is, and then she might have a right to her opionion, but that my daughter chose the colors, accessories, etc., and this wedding was not about THE MOTHER, it was your daughter's day and she should have had the wedding the way she wanted it. As for mom, tough cookies!
2007-02-11 09:12:29 · answer #7 · answered by momoffour 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you have a right to feel the way you do. The only problem is it's your daughter's wedding, you should make sure she's happy. I feel you guys should stand tall and stick to your guns, she can complain all she likes, the fact sill remains she is simply a guest.
2007-02-11 09:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. Knowitall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is an *** but it's too late now the wedding is over. Let it go before you give yourself an ulcer or a heart attack. Your daughter needs you more, since her mother is such a jerk.
2007-02-11 14:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. So sorry this had to happen to you and your daughter. Feel good about yourself for being the better person. You must know how much your daughter loves you.
2007-02-11 14:17:08 · answer #10 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋