in love with my ex?

Question

im still in love with my ex, i want him bk i no its not goin 2 be easy any advice or tips for me???

Answer 1

hi
you say you are still in love with him?
but why did you fall out in the first place?
you say you want him back
but does he still have feelings for you?
if it was something trivial,it is not going to work second time around if the trust is not there,
has he found someone else?
as if he has it is not fair on the person he is with now
if he is with no one then it might be worth a try,
follow your heart on this one,can all but try,

Answer 2

Hi, I'm sorry to hear of your predicament. It's a horrible position to be in and I've been there a couple of times myself.

I'm assuming that it's still a relatively fresh wound in that it's a recent split, so please take this advice with this in mind.

Like any other problem, you must try and take the emotion from the situation

Firstly, carefully examine your motives for wanting a reconciliation. It may be that you do not really want your ex, but are afraid of moving on, or even don't want to accept "defeat" in the fight to save the relationship. I was like that, not really wanting the ex as such but determined that I would not have the relationship shattered on anything other than my terms.

Secondly analyse, as dispassionately as possible, the reasons for the break up. It may well help here to talk it through with close friends to gain their perspective. They may well have seen things that they didn't mention when things were going OK, for fear of offending you, but their viewpoint can be invaluable. Try not to get defensive in such conversations though. To get the most objective information about the "health" of your relationship as others saw it may cause you to face some uncomfortable truths.

Given this analysis, if you feel the issue that broke you up is eminently solvable, such as a "one off" argument that escalated out of hand, then it may be worth starting the dialogue for a reconciliation.

If on the other hand you conclude that there is an endemic, deep rooted issue that caused the conflict, then it's unlikely that you will be able to revive the relationship, for the following reasons.

Even with the best will in the world, where there are deep seated differences it is almost impossible that either of you will be able to compromise to the extent required for any prolonged length of time. I've tried that, reconciling with an ex, with both of us trying desperately only for the original differences to resurface after a few months despite valiant efforts from both parties.

In summary, before you attempt a reconciliation please consider:
1) If you are wanting to reconcile for the right reasons (i.e. you genuinely believe that the relationship is the "right" one)
2) That it is capable of being revived. i.e. the problems that killed it are curable.

One more thing. It is a cliche, but like most cliches it has an element of truth, Time is a wonderful healer.
If you're anything like I was you probably feel scared, confused, uncertain and desperate to get some control back in your life by putting things "back to normal", regardless of whether the relationship you just got out of was really the best thing for you. However, these feelings will dissipate. You now have a wonderful opportunity to meet the right person and forge a wonderful new relationship.

I thought my world had ended when my fiancee and I split up 5 years ago, 2 months before we were due to wed. I ached to be reunited, but despite many attempts on my part to persuade her, it was not to be. I was disconsolate, until after many conversations with worried friends and family it dawned on me that I didn't actually want her back as such, I just didn't want to "lose" and just wanted the control back in my life. Once I came to terms with that, and accepted that sometimes in life we make the wrong choices with people, then I started to get over it.

I eventually met a wonderful woman after a year or so and have now been happily married for 18 months, with a beautiful baby daughter icing the cake. What was a horrendous experience turned into a life changing one in the best possible way.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck. The world does have a strange habit of working out for the best. Trust yourself that things will work out right for you in the future, without having to cling to the past.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but he is an ex for a reason. Going back will not solve the problems why you split in the first place. Its never all one persons fault. If you think that you were mostly to blame for the split, then you should explain and expose all your faults to him, telling him that you want to try to change to make things work. If its mainly hes fault, then move on, it wont be easy at first, but it will be for the best. Good luck.

Answer 4

I got back with my ex 5 months ago and it was the worst thing i done,i thought things would work out 2nd time around and didn`t want to throw 6 years away.Nothing really changed and the same problems were still there and after promising that he was going to try harder and change for me and our son he soon went back to his old ways and i was truly miserable.He walked out on me and our son for the 2nd time 6 weeks ago and i just feel foolish for believing things could work,so i think he shuld stay your ex and you should move on.

Answer 5

An X is an X for a reason.The person was never really right for you.You might be hurting right now but it will get better.You could still be with the wrong person and hurt for as long as your with them. Your perfect man is out there somewhere.Its just a matter of time and you will know hes the one for you.Whats meant to be will be. good luck.

Answer 6

I know this may sound hard, but you need to get over him, there's no point in taking one step forward and two steps back. good luck

Answer 7

why do you want him back most exes are that for a good reason