We received an invite to hubby's h.s. best buddy's sister wedding -we haven't seen (or talked to) her in 14 yrs when we were out for the buddy's wedding. (We haven't seen said buddy in that long either - just an exchange of cmas cards). The wedding is about 900 miles away.
We took the gesture as being kind to think of us (my mother in law got an invitation as well - and she hasn't seen them in 17 years.) Obviously however, we won't be going. There was no RSVP card.
Two questions:
First:
I would like to at least send a card. My question is do I need to send some type of gift as well? (Gift card, cash, small gift).
And for my own curiosity:
There was no RSVP card although there were directions to the wedding site, should we take that as it was safe for them to assume we wouldn't come (although we considered it as an excuse to get away from the kidlets LOL) or is a common practice if it is an "open" reception and no RSVP needed. Thoughts?
Thanks
2007-02-11 08:37:30 · 6 answers · asked by apbanpos 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yes - there were directions to the reception site & the wedding is next month. And from the invitation - it appears to be a very formal affair. Very high-end.
2007-02-11 08:49:51 · update #1
I believe this was a kindness gesture and that they do not really expect you to attend, If you want to send a gift, do so but You certainly not obligated to send one and a nice card is more than sufficient
2007-02-11 11:03:11 · answer #1 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's perfectly acceptable just to send a card if you're not in a financial position to send a gift. Of course, if that isn't an issue then a small gift would be nice; I suspect the couple isn't expecting a gift. The card acknowledges the couple's gesture of including you in their plans. Re: the RSVP, just to cover your bases I would add a note in the card that sadly you won't be able to attend. Unless the reception is something like a back yard D-I-Y reception I think most couples need to know who will be attending.
2007-02-11 08:51:24 · answer #2 · answered by graciemae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No RSVP card? That would be tacky of them to assume you weren't going. Personally I have never experienced an open reception, that would be a bugger!
A card is expected, at the very least to acknowledge that you got the invite. You could include a letter to catch up with the family, some photos etc. It is entirely up to you if you send a gift.
2007-02-11 11:39:56 · answer #3 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There should always be RSVP info in a wedding invitation. It is customary to get a gift if you're invited, whether you go or not. If you haven't spoken in 14 years, I'd probably just send a card too. I wouldn't worry too much about offending someone 900 miles away who I never see :)
2007-02-11 09:33:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't go to the wedding, you don't need to send a gift. If you go, you should. A nice card is fine. The lack of RSVP seems an oversight. It must be a pot luck if they don't need a head count. RSVPs are usually needed to order the food and to pay the caterer. If there isn't one, I don't think you can assume it had anything to do with an assumption that you wouldn't be going. Are you sure this was an "Invitation" and not an "Announcement"?
2007-02-11 08:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send a card, and no more. And sleep well knowng that you did the very right thing considering that these people are almost strangers .They sent an invitation as a courtesy ... and they expect nothing more than a courteous reply in return. Give it no more thought, and invest in a card only.
2007-02-11 12:56:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋