My boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago and since then we've been getting along fine as friends. I have been getting to know another guy and we've really clicked. I'm not over my ex and this new man knows that, so we've agreed to have a few dates etc and see how it goes. However, my ex (who broke up with me - it was by no means mutual) is acting very strangely now, it's almost a case of "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either". He'll tell me how much he misses me, but then act like nothing's been said. It's as if he's trying to stop me getting over him? I have tried to talk to him about it but he turns it round to make it look like I'm in the wrong, when I don't believe that I am? Has anybody been in a similar situation? Any advice would be much appreciated, he's being very complicated and I'm quite confused!
2007-02-11 08:31:12 · 14 answers · asked by mishmash 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Does my ex still have feelings for me that are as strong as he says? Or is it just that he doesn't want to accept that I'm moving on?
2007-02-11 08:31:58 · update #1
ive been in a similar situation and i think its the fact he only want you when it suits him.he likes the fact that he knows you still want him so your like a safety net if he needs someone. but if youve got a new boyfriend hes lost his safety net. move and and forget him hes no good to you, you can obviously do better good luck!!!!
2007-02-11 08:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question there.... He doesn't want you as anything more than a friend right now but he's not happy about someone else being with you. You always want more what you suddenly can't have.
Who means more to you, your ex or your new chap? Only you can decide which one is for you, but remember if you opt for your ex he hasn't definitely said that he wants to give it another go so you might be blowing it with your new chap for no reason.
Talk with your ex to find out why he is doing this. Men, in my experience, if they know they are wrong will always try to make you feel as if you are wrong. This is to ease their conscience about the way they are treating you.
Good luck!
2007-02-11 16:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by ATP 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I completly know what your experiencing and I'm sure you heard this already but your ex does have feelings for you and they'll probably won't disappear for a while just like your feelings for him won't. You nailed it when you said he doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you. If he really is your friend he will only care about whats best for you and he will eventually understand that its not fair for you to not move and try to find the happiness you once had with him! I think that you should per sue this other guy and just reassure your ex that nothing as FRIENDS will change between each other but you can't wait around for ever for him to realise that he wants to be with you!
2007-02-11 16:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by oprah08 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what he's going through -if its what I went through it's a sort of jealousy but it is much more than that - yes he still has feelings and probably loves you but feels you two together will never work, but the idea of you with another man will really hurt you. Its best for him if you stop being so close as friends - maybe tell him you both need space, that's what I did and although my feelings are still there I can cope with them and now hope she does find some one to make her happy!!
2007-02-12 03:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by Soul Reason 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same thing once...
He made the decision and it seems more that he just doesn't want you to get over him.
If you want to try it again with him, remember how much he hurt you and how long it took you to deal with it.
I would say that the best thing would be not to see your ex for some time, until both of you are REALLY over it. Things like that need their time and we are often not as grownup (or however you want to call it) as we would like to be.
As well it might be pretty hard for this new man in your life if you spend time with your ex.
But in the end...it's up to you.
2007-02-11 16:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by annacachetona 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he just dose not want you to have any one else. stop being friends and give the other fella a go. i had a boy friend like that he was a right pain even when he went out with someone else he still wanted to be friend and me not to go out with some one else tried to control every think. we had kid together so i had to put up with him we only ever talk about the kids now one day i just told him i did not want to see him any more. now have a lovely boyfriend that i am very happy with.
2007-02-11 16:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by debbie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've already answered your own question. He doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you. If you get back together with him, he will break your heart again because once he has you back, he will dump you because you will no longer be a challenge. Stick with this new guy and see how things go. Good luck.
2007-02-11 16:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by stseukn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he's messing with your head. Ignore him. If you like this other guy go for it - who cares what the ex says? If it works out, great. If not it might give your ex a kick up the butt so he stops acting like an idiot and declares his undying love?
2007-02-11 16:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by Guimauve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when my ex found out i had feelins 4 sum1 else he went in2 1 sayin i couldnt of cared bout him, altho he was the 1 who finished wit me, he gave it all the i miss u crap, i think they expect you 2 pine over them 4eva or atleast until they move on. your situation snds so much like mine, i think its a way of removing the guilt from themselves, if i were you have fun, take it slow with this new bloke and jus tel ya ex to shut up.
2007-02-11 16:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All the men I know ( including myself ) always are jealous of their ex's new boyfriend even if they finished their relationship.
But like most men they get over it on move on.
Its up to you- what do you want ?
Start over again or move on.
2007-02-11 16:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by scottie322 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋