I absolutely hate my dad. He has never physically abused me, but mentally. I am in therapy for it. I would never ever talk to him if I could, but I am about to go to college and really need his financial support. Talking to him makes no difference. I have, my mom has, my therapist has he refuses to change. What should I do?
2007-02-11 08:26:26 · 11 answers · asked by darcas13 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
iflylo01- my plan is to go to college for 8
years or more. Vet school is extremely hard. harder then med school and adding a job to that?! Yea I don't think so.
2007-02-11 09:09:43 · update #1
Stop hating him, it's not easy I know...I have been through this too. Remember, he is what he is because someone caused him to act the way he does......You may not have all of the particulars as to why he is abusive...Generally abusive people come from abusive environments and don't know how to behave properly.They are perpetuating the abuse that was perpetrated on them.....Stop the cycle, hate breeds hate...
stay in counseling and find a way to forgive him ....move on with your life in college.Maybe the money you are getting from him to go to school is fate's way of stopping the violence..
Move on with your life, forget the past hurts ...Even if it's one day at a time..The distance that college puts between the two of you will help you to forgive him . I never said it's easy.......You will be doing a great service to your children , when you have them, by learning to forgive ..Move on ,you will be the bigger person......God bless and protect you ....
2007-02-11 08:45:43 · answer #1 · answered by cesare214 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So many things that seem so important now won't later in life. You will look back in life and wonder why you were so immature once upon a time and regret it. Sure he may have issues but meant well in his own kind of way. Obviously communication in the family is not good. And I wonder, how hard it is on a family to have a kid in therapy and who is paying for this in the first place? Later in life you will see him as man, not just a father. Things done as a child have a way of following you for life.
Odds are he wants you to take charge of your life. Your life is horrible? Lousy town, etc? Join the military. In most any job that you pursue later in life it will be a plus. You will gain maturity, a step away from your parents and all of the money you need for college. If you are not able to make the big step... think about what you need to do to change things and not rely on a therapist.
2007-02-11 09:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its harder for older people to change, especially personality, and old behaviors. Concentrate on being accepting of him with all his faults, don't have to justify his bad behavior, but you can control how you will respond, will you let him bother you, or will you try to see beyond, grow past his shortcomings
might hate him now, but he is your father and as you get older you might find that you will value him more. Family is family. Family is a great blessing many don't have, worth the issues that will rise sometimes.
I hated my parents when I was a teenager, ran away and cut them out of my life, decisions I regret now.
Glass half full or half empty. Do we mostly focus on the negative in him or the positive. change our attitude you might be suprised.
2007-02-11 08:38:59 · answer #3 · answered by onlinedreamer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Accept that he is the way he is and take financial support if he offers it, if he doesn't then try to make a way on your own. I know it's terrible when you don't get along with a parent, but sometimes we try our best & it just isn't meant to be.
2007-02-11 08:30:35 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So...i hate my father too! and i wasnt physically abused either but mentally. and ive been to 4 therpist and finally relaized that im a better person because of him. I realized he's everything i never want to be and he makes the biggest *** out of me and ive cried my eyes out millions of times but i cant leth im get to me.
you cant ask him for something because if you do he will hold it against you.
try to find another way! respect yourself. dont give in!
2007-02-11 10:59:29 · answer #5 · answered by jCt //* 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A good thing is to just tell your mom that your tired of it you probly did.
Well live with a close relitive like aunt or uncle.
You can get your mother to move in a aparment without him
2007-02-11 08:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a job, it isn't that hard and you can maintain your self-respect.
2007-02-11 08:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by Live&Learn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you need more time with him, try to find that warm side of him it's there you just have to find it unfortunately for you.
2007-02-11 08:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by celi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You hate him, but yet you need his money!
2007-02-11 08:30:40 · answer #9 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my father was never there for me till this day....he can rot in his own sh!t for all I care....
2007-02-11 08:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋