My sister recently started dating this man that my mother and I disapprove of. We feel my sister is just settling for whatever guy came along and we know she deserves better than this guy. It's hard to explain but we just have a bad feeling about him. She also has a 5 year old daughter who we are concerned for. We don't understand why my sister doesn't think more about the people she brings into my niece's life. We're concerned about the kind of life my niece will be exposed to as long as my sister is with this man. What's worse is that this isn't the first time she's been involved with somebody just like him that is sub-par. She acts so differently around him almost like she's too cool for us or something like that. She's rude, sarcastic and sometimes offending. It's just not her at all. My sister is beautiful, talented, smart and deserves everything in the world. We love her and her daughter so much so how do I tell her how we feel without pushing her away?
2007-02-11 08:24:27 · 8 answers · asked by Jess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We're scared she's getting in a pattern of dating guys that are not as good as she deserves.
2007-02-11 09:03:45 · update #1
from my experience, when I tell my daughter I dont like her boyfriend, she liked him even more so and will defend him....when I finally kept things to myself... she ended up getting mad at him for her own reasons and she broke up with him... so just tell her u disapprove then let her make up her own mind... for sure she will end up seeing the light and learn her own lesson and will break it off.. if ur worried for her young daughter... try to keep the girl with you and do things with her to keep her away from the boyfriend...
2007-02-11 09:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by gina B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, don't get mad at her and tell her she is no longer welcome or any of that type of thing, be there for her no matter what decision she makes. Don't act like your mad, but if something bad happens, be willing to stand up for her immediately. You need to wait until she is not around her boyfriend and calmly explain to her how you feel without telling her she needs to break up with him or putting him down. If you do try to persuade her to see things your way by saying bad things about him or telling her she should break it off, you will only add fuel to the fire and she might stay with him out of spite or become defensive. You also need to be sure you are right in your justifications, what is right for you & your mother may not be right for your sister. If the guy is totally wrong for her and your certain of it, I would try in an offhand way to get her to spend less and less time with him. Try to get her to go out with you all places and do things around her you know she will enjoy or want to be a part of. I know this does not answer your question entirely but I hope it helps.
2007-02-11 08:34:50 · answer #2 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she a single mother who is afraid of being alone? Some people stay in relationships just to not be alone...and then when you tell them you "disapprove" of their choice, you may risk alienating them, or they'll tell their boyfriend, who will become even less charming around you, if such a thing is possible.
Think of why you don't like who she is dating and determine whether you see he really does have a negative effect on her, or if he is just who you don't see her with.
And tread cautiously. There is no easy way to have this conversation with her.
2007-02-11 09:15:03 · answer #3 · answered by Karen? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, you can't say anything to her. if you do it could mess up your relationship with her, and being able to see your niece. remember when you were younger and your friends would say for you to dump that guy because he's no good? sometimes you just have to live to learn, and no matter what you say she's not going to dump him for anyone else but herself.
2007-02-11 09:20:55 · answer #4 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she wont listen what ever you say just be there for her when it all goes wrong love is blind and keep a eye on your niece make sure shes o.k if not then say something to your sis
2007-02-11 08:54:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it out tell her how you feel.
please dont be afriad to cry so she can tell you care.
And make sure you tell her everthing about what your feeling.
2007-02-11 08:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Carry her dinner ad tell her you love her dearly, that is why you have to say this.
2007-02-11 08:38:47 · answer #7 · answered by celi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple don't say anythings seaport her when she needs it or you both will lose her
2007-02-17 19:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋