A question for the pagans who are with us today ...?

Question

I'm not trying to generalize, because I know that everyone is different, but are pagans typically open-minded enough to date someone who doesn't share their beliefs? I know that most members of "traditional" religions (christianity, islam, judaism) try to seek out a partner who shares their spiritual ideas. Is there anything in the practice of paganism which would be disturbed by having a relationship with an atheist?

I have a crush on a pagan :) Who knows I'm atheist. But I don't want to insult this person or their beliefs by pursuing them.

Answer 1

We are a minority religion. In many cases, a serious minority. If we only dated people in our own religion we'd run out of people to date pretty soon.

My boyfriend is an atheist and we're still very happy after 3 years. Last Pagan guy I dated was a froot loop. It all depends on the person. If someone tries to force their belief (or lack of belief) on a Pagan, a Pagan will usually decide they don't want anything to do with that person anymore, but we don't require folks to agree with us. We have plenty of practice not being agreed with.

Answer 2

Pagans are usually the most open minded of the lot, and religion is not an issue with most of them.

What you will find, however, is that when religion does become an issue in a relationship, pagans will back off rather than put their beliefs on the line. If it comes down to "me and my religion or nothing", a pagan will back off and choose nothing than to be forced into something they do not want. This goes for non-religion as well.

As in all things, people do not really like having anything shoved down their throats, and do not particularly care for someone giving them any kind of ultimatum.

But if you are looking for a relationship based on love and trust, and religion is not an issue with you, then you may find this an interesting relationship. You will not insult the person by wanting to engage in a relationship with them, but you should honor their own wishes to maintain their own beliefs and you maintain your own.

Good luck.

Answer 3

My husband is an agnostic bordering on atheism. We've been married for twelve years and are very happy. He even helps out with preparations when I have people over for ritual, even though he doesn't take part.

Speaking as a Wiccan, I can't see how being admired would insult any Pagan. Most are very open and accepting of other beliefs, provided that person isn't out to convert them to their point of view. So pursue away! If you're stepping over a line, that person will probably tell you.

Answer 4

While I'm sure that there probably are some Pagans out there who consider it to be of prime importance, most Pagans are knowledgeable enough to know that Pagan-only dating puts a severe constraint on the available choices.

So long as you don't insult the potential SO, I can't see any inherent reason you'd have a stumbling block. IMO, go for it.

Answer 5

I'm happily married to someone who shares my religion. It's really nice to have the same values, goals, and basic worldviews. It's one of the many things that link us together and it's an important link in our relationship.

That said, I have dated people with different religious views and those without any religious beliefs and that was okay too. As long as both people are respectful, I don't see many problems with it. One of my concerns would be if we were planning to have children. It would be a high priority for me to be able to raise a child with the knowledge of my religious views. I don't feel that I'd be able to fully explain my values and ethics without including my religion. I know that religion isn't necessary for having ethics but the reasoning behind my ethics are religious-based, so I'd feel it necessary to include that. This was important enough to me that I would discontinue a relationship if the other person would not respect that. It is high on my personal priority list. I'd never want to force a child to worship like I do, but I certainly would want to teach them about my deities, what I do, and why. So I suppose it depends on the individuals involved and their priorities--but respect would be a must--from both sides.

I wasn't insulted when an atheist took an interest in me, and I doubt if many pagans would. It's really sweet of you to ask, though.

Answer 6

As long as you don't start referring to the Deity's they believe in as sky-fairy's you should be fine.

On a more serious note - am pagan and i am married to an agnostic Buddhist, we tend to not discuss belief too much as he finds the idea of a higher power uncomfortable. I was however a Christian when we started dating and he had no problem with that either, and i had no problem with him so its people more than religion or faith that counts.

Answer 7

On the contrary, Pagans and atheists are more similar than you think. Maybe you should talk to him.
I dated a Wiccan/Pagan once and it was the best relationship I've ever had.

Answer 8

Haha. It depends on the kind of Pagan. I've known Wiccans who dislike dating outside of the Wicca faith. I'm not a Wiccan, but I am a Pagan. Personally, I prefer non-Pagans in relationships.

In all honesty, most of us Pagans don't care, as long as you don't try to influence our beliefs, and [if we practice] magic, you don't demand to know what we do in circles [and don't call it silly, that just says, "Explain it to me."]

Answer 9

Yea, most Pagans are very open-minded. I wouldn't mind dating an atheist.

Answer 10

It looks like you 2 are in the same boat. You are an atheists, & he is a pagan, really there is no difference.