Why is it, really, that women don't ask men out?

Question

Generally speaking, of course.

I wouldn't be afraid to ask a man out if I knew he liked me. However, before I asked him out, I'd first expect him to ask ME out. Only if he kept putting it off would I then ask him out.

Are other girls like that too? They expect the men to ask them out? Why is that?

As a girl, I'm not really complaining - I LIKE the fact that we aren't expected to ask the guys out. I'm just wondering why that is.

What are everyone's opinions as to why that is?

And if you could state your age group when you answer, that'd be appreciated. :) I want to see if the answer changes with age.

Answer 1

I'm a guy but I think there are several reasons...

1) Tradition

2) Fear of rejection ( I can't count how many times I've heard women cite asking one man out and being rejected as a reason not to ask men out again)

3) Some women judge assertiveness by if a guy has enough nerve to ask them out so to them the idea of asking themselves is repulsive.

4) Don't know how. Most guys will make first move so most women have never really had to ask men out and hence when they see a guy who they like and hasn't made a move on them, they have no experience asking themselves so they just don't and miss maybe a good opportunity.

5) Looking desperate. Some guys , I hate to say it, think a woman could be desperate if asking a guy out. We can be strange like that sometimes but there are some guys who think that way!

Answer 2

It's just an old custom, or rather an idiotic ideal that men strapped women with a long time ago. If a woman asks a man out, then there are still men out there who thinks that makes them sleazy or slutty. It is just a throw back to the old male dominated days...basically I think men were just scared that the girls they wanted would ask out other men besides them so they would call any woman who initiated contact with any other man besides themselves a slut or whore or whatever word passed for that over passed centuries. They'd do that so that other women would be afraid to ask anyone out...and basically it has worked, hence the still-used custom.

Answer 3

Okay, first, I'm in my late 30's. Second, a man asking a woman out is something of a biological convention, or a habit. Of course, there's also the rationale that women are superior to men, and thus the inferior party has to do the asking. But that's just my opinion...

Answer 4

I'm 46 and recently widowed (18 months ago). The reason I don't ask men out is not tradition or because I don't think it's right but because I only want the kind of man who goes after what he wants. I tend to be submissive and am looking for more of a dom. I want the man who comes after me, who pursues me, chases a bit. I NEVER ask a man out, nor do I call him, or even return his calls if I miss them. It just doesn't get me the kind of man that I want. Most of the men who have taken to me know this. The ones who never figured it out are long gone.

Answer 5

I think it may be in part they are holding traditional views. It's not that common, so it's hard to make it a normal practice. I'm sure men would be very appreciative if women would take more initiative in the asking. I have asked men out before. No biggie.

Oh, I'm 38. I wasn't ever shy in asking a guy out.

Answer 6

When I was single, I was NEVER that way. I always knew that the great ones are gone VERY quick if you don't go get them. Some guys just need a little boost and appreciate a strong woman who knows what she wants.

When I met my husband (married 7 great and INCREDIBLY HOT years!) I didn't hesitate to win him over. I didn't ask him out right away, but I made my presence known to him and was very happy that he felt the same way.

It's cool if you aren't like that, but if you're waiting for a great guy to come ask you out, well chances are that a woman like me will beat you to him.

Good luck!

Answer 7

About 6 years ago, I asked this guy out. I was about 25 or 26 at the time. I had only talked to him once or twice before. I wrote him a short note asking him out for drinks and had a friend give it to him. We have been together ever since.

Answer 8

Its been that way for years, just a part of our culture... It dates back to when women had little rights, and even the days when they did not get to chose there husbands. Back when men achived greatness, a girls father would hand her over to her soon to be newly wed. I know it sounds really wierd, but only recently has it even been considered acceptable for women to ask men out. Just over the years those sort of traditions have began to fade...

im 18 male

Answer 9

some women do, some basically like the assumption of the custom and notice it as greater of a "manly" element of do (you comprehend, taking cost and expressing the style you sense). we are very into the finished "fortuitously ever after" issues, I hate to sound sexist yet they're referred to as "chick flicks" for a reason. adult adult males arent continually familiar for exhibiting the optimum volume of emotion in a relationship, so that's achieveable women sense like adult adult males would desire to compensate via making the 1st circulate. Oh, and then there is the finished element of "adult adult males will no longer be able to make your strategies as much as relationships" so possibly women basically assume adult adult males to guy up and ask women out. there are such fairly some clarification why. besides the undeniable fact that that's different from a number of women are a similar, alot are useful sufficient to ask the guy out.

Answer 10

I'm 18, and I think it's just traditional that women wait for men to ask them out. Men are seen as the aggressor in dating because they're usually the ones who ask women for their phone number and pick them up for dates. I don't know if there are any women who would ask men for their phone numbers and offer to pick them up. It'd be great though. I think I would like it if a woman asked me out; it shows me she's bold.