I was just wondering why, when they see a telephone # at the bottom of an invitation, do they not call and tell the party host that they will or will not be attending? I think this is just proper manners to do so and not to mention the fact that it is a tremendous help for those who are purchasing the food and party supplies. My nephew's birthday party was last week. He invited 9 friends from school. We only got calls that 2 were coming for sure. 8 showed up and it was a good thing we had extra. What if we hadn't though? This subject came up in a group of parents that I talk to sometimes before/after school. One of them asked me how the RSVP's went for his party and I told them that mostly everyone came but only 2 called. Then a woman said to me, "Oh here in Arkansas we don't do that (she knew we are not orig. from AR), nobody calls to let you know if they are coming or not. I then thought to myself I guess there are a lot of people here with no manners.
2007-02-11 07:26:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
A phone call to confirm or deny would take all of 30 seconds. Thanks for all your answers.
2007-02-11 07:36:42 · update #1
Thank you for a wonderful question. We have had 2 weddings in the past three months and each one included RSVP cards. I was appalled at the number of people who didn't bother to send them. We had to notify caterers etc. and it made it very difficult. Today's world is full of rude, ignorant people. I had to get on the phone to contact some of them as I was quite sure they would be attending. I was mortified at some of the answers I received as to why they had not sent in their RSVP's. The mother that told you nobody sends in cards is a fool. There are still some of us out there who know how to follow proper etiquette.
2007-02-11 12:33:53 · answer #1 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least you got some replies, MY son just had his party this past weekend. He invited 10 kids, I heard from 2 saying they were coming and no one else even called one way or the other. I had to call people to ask so I could give them a head count at the bowling alley. Even then for the people who I got answering machines for, they never even called me back. SO frustrating! It's rude and inconsiderate when people do not RSVP. I always RSVP the day I get the invite so I won't forget. Even if I'm not sure yet, I will call and let them know I have to check on a couple things but thanks for the invite and I will get back to them soon just so they aren't wondering what's going on.
2016-05-23 22:06:34 · answer #2 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is partly due to laziness and partly the ultimate rudeness in my opinion:They are waiting for a better offer. Some people will not RSVP because they do not want to commit to one party and then get an invite to one they'd prefer attending. So they say nothing and might or might not show up. Some people have tried to alleviate this by calling invitees personally and asking if they will be attending. I attended a wedding reception recently where there were Two young men at the door with lists of those who had RSVPed that were attending. They scratched these off the list as they arrived. It was kindly explained to those not on the list that the family could not accommodate them since they only ordered enough food for those who RSVPed that they would be there. They were invited to wait outside if they would like, in case someone who was on the list did not arrive. Some, amazingly, opted to wait. I personally would have been much too embarrassed!
2007-02-11 07:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by babydoll 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Because many people are either rude as hell or just plain stupid. The best way to handle this is...no rsvp, no party for them...inform them at the door you are sorry, but since they did not rsvp, you are not prepared for them...perhaps the next time you invite them, they WILL rsvp. AND, the other side of the coin is those who do RSVP and do not show up without a phone call of explanation, have a grand party, make SURE they know about it, and do NOT invite them under any circumstance.
2007-02-11 07:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are waiting to see if they get a better offer. Thus, everything is tentative.
What if you had not had enough? Well, some people would not get anything or they might not get what everyone else was given.
The first problem is that the nephew did the inviting. If it's truly important that you have an accurate headcount (like a seated meal paid for by the plate), an adult must make a phone call and speak to another adult to confirm attendees.
2007-02-11 07:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BAD MANNERS-- rsvp s are supposed to be answered.
Re: rsvp, I had a 1 yr anniversary party after I survived a brain hemorrhage and some of my friends didn't bother to rsvp. It really bothered me. i definitely understand you.
I ran into family and friends just 'dropping by' when I lived in southern Missouri. That is THEIR way. But it wasn't MY way so I had to nip it in the bud. They weren't happy about it but I have never tolerated people dropping in on me. it is a different set of etiquette rules- north and south.
2007-02-11 08:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by reme_1 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time on the invite say limited seating, RSVP needed for entrance/food/etc.
2007-02-11 07:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by kaledrina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times people don't call because they are not sure if they are coming or not. Some people are just plain lazy and inconsiderate.
2007-02-11 07:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once upon a time, people knew what they would be doing social and in business situations for weeks. Now, both parents work and usually on immediate recall via cell phones or e-mail. The kids are stuck in a system where they're lucky to get to talk with their parents at all. Be happy that the kids got through in time to even get to the party.
2007-02-11 07:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by Terry 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Because they are borish, inconsiderate, self-centered dolts that won't commit to anything, just in case something better comes along at the last minute.
2007-02-11 07:31:33 · answer #10 · answered by Bobby Jim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋