21 and never had a girlfriend?

Question

When I was 15 my mom commited suicide (addiction problems)and my father died in cancer a few months later. Was sent to a foster home by the social services. It was terrible there, they treated me very badly. Left when I was 18, have gotten a job and an apartment now. Feels like I've missed out on a big chunk of teen age life, like fx dating, girlfriends and such. My life feels very hard and extremely lonely.
Am afraid that my experinces have made me into an unlovable who cant fucntion with other people. I suffer from social phobia, trouble trusting other people etc. Is currently on antidepression meds + counselling.
Dunno what my question is, maybe will I always be lonely the rest of my life? Should I be worried, will I never have a family of my own?

Thought Id ask the world for some advice.

Answer 1

i am on the same boat. my mom die when i was little, sister left with a stupid bf and we are not in touch. my dad dosent pay too much attention. i have a good family but my own ditched me.for me i missed out a lot of my pre teen years, i am still in hs and i am afraid of dating. i feel like i cant trust anyone. i am just waiting for a year so i can go to college and be totally independent. but dont worry. sometimes those who suffer the most in the beginnning are the ones who get the best in the end.

Answer 2

I've been thinking about something along the same lines lately. My mom and dad got divorced when I was only 4 years old. Sadly I can still remember most of the stuff that happened, and I was ver close to my mom. I havent seen my mom for almost 10 years ( Havent seen or talked to her) and I finally came to the conclusion that I was just scared to have a relationship. Im 15, never had a girlfriend and I feel as though just from my mom leaving me at such a young, Im missing out on so much more of my life. Sometimes when Im talking to a girl that I like, I just wanna come out and ask her, but im afraid of rejection. I guess what we can both do is just hope that one day you will just decide that your not gonna be scared of other people. Good luck!

Answer 3

hey man... i was 15 when I lost my dad... then it seemed that every few weeks, another family member would die or kill themselves... Over a period of two months I lost 6 family members... It felt horrible, I almost commited suicide many many times... But I always found a way out... I always had atleast one person that I couldnt put through that... I am living with my aunt right now... and I have only had one gf in my life, it was in 5th grade... im a senior in HS right now... so it isnt the best feeling... I know what its like to lose everyone... I really dont know much about foster homes, it sounds pretty bad...

anyways.. if ya wanna talk.. idk you... but im here... and you can trust me as much as you want to... I find it better to trust people that I dont know cuz I know that I wont be judged because it isnt like ill ever see them anytime...

ltr man...
-Josh

Answer 4

Fred, I know how you feel. I was in foster care for ten years and when I left care, I felt very lonely. It was not until I met my husband that I started feeling lovable and worthwhile. I would encourage you to focus on becoming the person you want to be and try to make friends with people who support you and who you admire. When the time comes you will meet that special someone. If your area has a support group for former foster kids, I would encourage you to join that. For example, in my state, we have Elevate. To learn more about Elevate, visit www.elevate2inspire.com

Answer 5

Just try a bit at a time. Slowly you'll get used to society and such and will blend in easier.

My own personal story
Raped in third grade(babysitter's son/daughter and her friend). Didnt trust guys for a long time. Trusted girls a bit more because they were more sympathetic. In junoir year of highschool I met my current fiance soon to be wife, and also my best male friend. Best friend I do pretty much anything with and I'm not bothered by him. Other guys I'm just somewhat friends with but some actions and attitudes I get instantly angered at. Learned to cool it down though.

So change is possible. And you even have help. Something I didnt have.

Best of luck.

Answer 6

i imagine it really is completely nice that you have not in any respect had a lady friend at your age and that i quite believe what you reported about women wanting to be with men that are sweet, etc yet they continuously finally end up with those that manage you want crap. I surely were there and done that quite some situations. those men come off because the sweetest man or woman ever then you genuinely get to work out the authentic fringe of them. this does not propose that you at the instantaneous are not cool. in basic terms supply it time, even as that's meant to ensue then it is going to. also, do not make the mistakes of asking a lady out devoid of quite understanding something about her.. about understanding who she is because quite everyone seems quite good at putting on acts. you maximum probably are not doing something incorrect. in basic terms ensure that you do be your self. do exactly not attempt to be someone you at the instantaneous are not in basic terms to get a lady! in some unspecified time sooner or later someone will have a good time with you for not being one among those men who treats the lady like crap.

Answer 7

Do you have a best friend, of either sex? Someone to confide in? I think you need to start there first. You need someone to share with and who can reassure you. You need to have some fun with this friend and do whatever you need to do to experience what you missed..during this time of going out, hanging with friends, you might meet others...whatever your hobby is, whether it's video games, building robots, taking a Japanese class, whatever, find friends at events that interest you. But start with a buddy first!
Don't rush the girlfriend thing, work on gaining your confidence first.

Answer 8

Awww.. dont worry one day u will have a gf and then eventually u will find the perfect girl to marry and u will have a family....

Answer 9

Don't worry...I am 16, and I have NEVER dated before, and I don't plan on it for a very looonng time! You sound like a pretty nice guy to me....you sound attractive to me *wink*.

Answer 10

i feel sorry for you. but what todo? you cant change the past.
but for now try to get a girl friend. how ?? university, working place ( place where you do job. ) go somewhere for vacation. in the beach. talk to people.