My husband and I have had enough! My inlaws never visit us (we live 1 town over), they always do everything with my husbands brother and his wife. They never take our children without havinf my brotherinlaws daughter. If we invite then to do something with our family they always invite my husbands brother and his wife and daughter without even checking with us. The last straw was we just invited my inlaws to go to Disney with us (we are paying for them to go) Now they have invited my brotherinlaw and his wife and daughter without even checking with us first (they will pay their own way). We did not invite them and the sad thing is we really enjoy spending time with my brotherinlaw and his family but my husbands parents are making us so upset that it is effecting our relationship with his brother. He has tried talking to his mom but she says we are being foolish and that what we say is just not so. This is also hurting our children They want to know why they can never visit alone.
2007-02-11 06:42:12 · 6 answers · asked by sweetcountrygal1976 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I guess the real question here is why do they feel that they must always have the other family along?
Have you asked this question?
Have you told them that you would really like to spend some "quality time" just with them alone?
I have told my Mom and also my brothers at one time or other that we like to spend time just with them on occasion as it allows for a better talk. Groups can be a lot of fun but you can't really have an in depth conversation in a big group.
Try not to involve the children in this. See if the grown ups can handle it.
2007-02-11 06:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your brother in law is closer to his other brother's family. Ask the brother and his wife over and talk about it. Tell them how you feel. It could be that they do so much with the other in laws because they live closer. Maybe they are trying to facilitate a bond between all the family by inviting the other in laws.
Next time you invite them out plainly state that the invitation is just for their family.
Your children are probably bothered by this because they have heard YOU are bothered by it. Let them enjoy the chance to be social no matter who else is coming along.
2007-02-11 06:50:09 · answer #2 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really i can't see how this is hurting your children unless you get upset whenever this occurs, and your kids get upset because your upset. kids usually like to be around family and the more the better.. look at it this way, how upset would your kids be if this turns into a riff and they( bro and parents) keep away from your family all together. be grateful that you have family to share feelings and holidays and birthdays with. over look these situations and go with the flow. stop trying to fight it and you'll be happier as well as your kids. the person to talk with would be his brother , say when you invite them out call the brother to make them aware its just going to be you guys and the parents. just in case they call to ask them along. I'm sure he'll go along with it.. if anything try not to say anything in front of the kids. they'll hold it against the cousin and uncle/aunt and that wouldn't be good for relations
2007-02-11 07:08:40 · answer #3 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has your husband spoken to his brother about how he feels?.
Did you tell them they were not invited to go with you and ask mom why she did that? There has to be a reason they do that and no you not being foolish.
2007-02-11 06:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by alpatmcg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down alone with your in laws..and tell them everything you have just told us. It sounds like you have gone way out of your way for them..and getting nothing in return..if they refuse to see the problem..or just ignore your concerns I would stop trying to reach out to them. They are causing too much turmoil in your marriage..and its not worth it!
2007-02-11 06:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by HENRY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there and done that just leave them alone they might get the picture thats what i had to do took a few months but it worked
2007-02-11 06:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by mountainchowpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋