I've not spoken to my close female friend for 2 months as we got to close.I told her that I wanted no contact so that I could get over my feelings for her. She only wanted to be friends.
I've tried to get bck in touch as I've got over her now and I'm interested in another girl.She's been ignoring my attempts to get in touch-I've apologised if I wasn't tactful in the way I said I wanted no contact for awhile
She's ignoring me 'AS WE ARE ON A BREAK' - MEANING?
Also she thinks that I think of us as a couple!
Why would she say this - especially as I'm the one who wanted no contact TO GET OVER HER!!!
Advice
Why she hurting-she wanted to be friends!
I might see her this week-what should I say?(friends reunion party)
2007-02-11 06:17:56 · 13 answers · asked by sircrazydude90 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, so here's the definitive answer to this question! lol. This situation is complicated all round. Neither of you two know exactly what the other is thinking, and there's still a lot of history. Men often have better ways of dealing with such situations, they get a little hurt, take some time out, get over it and then are ok. Women have a tendency to let things linger, to not process things in the same 'in and out' way as men. She's probably hurt that you broke contact with her, she's annoyed as well, perhaps because you're over her, perhaps because she thinks that you are too much, that you do still think of her that way. And she may be hurt because she may have had some feelings for you without actually wanting to go out with you. Sometimes it's possible to not want a person completely but kind of like the fact they like you. Her pride is probably hurt a bit.
BASICALLY what you need to do is take a step back and assess the situation. Is she acting fairly and how much do you want to be friends with her? What sort of friendship do you want with her and what sort of friendship would she want with you? (not taking into account the way she's acting at the moment).
If you want to be friends with her then you need to do two things - a) not upset her, b) not let her be unreasonable.
You need to reiterate the point that you've moved on, that you like her as a friend but nothing more. However you need to say it without hurting her feelings (this may seem irrational but it's just the way it is with ladies). I suggest not calling or texting anymore, but maybe sending a short, well-phrased letter saying that you did really like her, but that it was necessary for you to have some time apart from her to get over it and that she should be able to understand. Say you'd really like to be friends, you wouldn't have been able to have feelings for her if there wasn't a good connection between the two of you in the first place and you don't want to lose that but it's unfair of her not to appreciate why you needed to move on in the way you did. End it saying that if she wants to be friends then you'll be there.
AND THEN LEAVE IT AT THAT! Let the ball be in her court, make the letter nice, kind, but clear - you're not going to spend your time apologising for something and chasing her- she was the one who just wanted to be friends. (Except don't say it like that!).
Good luck.
2007-02-11 06:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by misadventure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex said the same to me, he wanted no contact. It hurt really bad. But now that you say you only said that to get over her, now I know whats the deal. You just answered my question, so I'll answer yours.
Relationships are tricky. Things happen out of no where, and then they are later regreted. I may only be 13, but I am good with this. For most part, I think that she's hurt and is only trying to do the right thing and be nice. So maybe you should give her the chance to be nice, and say sorry and talk to her about how you feel. Girls appreciate it... a lot. So make sure what you're saying isn't a mistake and you really mean it.
2007-02-11 06:24:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very difficult!!! erm, u possibly should of not told her how u felt about her, as friendships always are never the same again after one of the parties confesses feelings for the other.
She is probably worried that u still feel like that thats why shes ignoring you, but i would think she will come around, r u sure u just dont have feelings for her anymore cause she hasnt been around. How do u feel about her now? Hope this helps and things work out for you and your new girl.she will come round, shes a friend. good friends forget and forgive. x
2007-02-11 06:24:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, if I understand it, you were falling in love with her but she just wanted your friendship and you told her you didn't want to have any contact with her at all so you could fall out of love with her--nice slam. Now that you have a girlfriend, you think you're ready to be friends with her but she doesn't want anything to do with you. Time for you to accept that you hurt her feelings and girls usually don't just dust themselves off, emotionally, and jump right back into the ring with the guy who was responsible for the hurt to begin with. The kindest thing you could do would be to leave her alone and enjoy your girlfriend.
2007-02-11 06:27:32 · answer #4 · answered by Yo' Mama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to me i said the girl dose like you cos me and my boyfriend was like this at first we was friends and he said he only wanted to be friends so i went on a girls holiday for 3 weeks and when i got back he said to me i didn't mean what i said really i do want to be with you he was just scared to say how he really felt and reading what you put i thing she is the same i think she is to scared to say how she feels about you but i Hope you can sort things out with her and be friends again or maybe get together
2007-02-11 06:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by scrummy mummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you see her, talk to her like a friend. Just be friendly and nice. But DONT FLIRT!!! You dont want her to get the message that you like her. I dont think she originally liked you, but if someone said soomething like that to me, it would bother me. So she probably just took it the wrong way. But hey you seem like a nice guy so just be yourself around her. Dont bring up the past.
2007-02-11 06:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by Chat Noir 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way your words come out you make a normal situation sound insane
2007-02-11 06:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if it's okay just to be bf.Contact me if it doesn't work,I'm 8 so,don't ask any questions or forget about it!!
2007-02-11 06:29:16 · answer #8 · answered by Belle' 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just apologize again, and hope for the best. What else can you do?
2007-02-11 06:21:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget her find new friends dont live in the past
2007-02-11 06:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋