I moved to the US a few months ago, to marry my husband. I knew he liked to play poker, but I feel like its spiriling out of control. He is a very good poker player - he rarely looses, and frequently wins $500+, so his ego is becoming over-inflated.
The past week, he has been playing online everyday. On Thursday he was playing from 10-3am, the next day he played online a little bit, and then we went out for dinner...with poker friends. Saturday was poker all day online - I had a minor car accident, and he seemed more interested in playing poker. Then today, he's playing poker again, and will be playing a tournament tonight. Meals are even eaten infront of the PC!! He claims "theres nothing better to do right now" so he may as well play - how can I argue that??
Once a fortnight he goes out & plays till 9am! It just hurts me, because it was only on Wednesday we had a huge argument about how I thought his playing was becoming obsessive, so he said he would play less, pls help.
2007-02-11 06:07:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Games & Recreation ➔ Gambling
Tell him every night there will be sex in your bed at 10 pm. Regardless of he is there or not.
2007-02-11 06:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by Luds 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No doubt he is "addicted" to poker. It is an adrenaline rush to compete. He may tire of it - but I doubt it. Sounds as if he is doing it professionally. I would check though, because not ever one wins all the time. He may be losing much more than he is telling you. See if you can get him interested in anything else, subjects he likes besides poker. If not ask him to seek addition help "just to see if it is serious" or something like that. challenge him to stay away from poker for a week and see what he says. If you have only been married a few months he should be in bed with you than playing poker.
2007-02-11 06:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who plays poker, both live and online, you may be surprised to hear me say that I disagree with those who are essentially blowing off your concerns. The fact that he was more concerned about playing poker than your auto accident is particularly disconcerting -- it tells me that he currently values poker more than your relationship. I love poker (and lots of games in general), but if my wife was in an accident, she would have my immediate and full attention until she told me that everything was taken care of.
As far as winning the money, maybe he can make a living out of doing this, but everything I have read says that it's more difficult to make poker a profession than lots of people think. Keep in mind that your husband not only has to replace his net income, but also taxes, the cost of any benefits he had at work, etc. Additionally, lots of poker players, even top ones, go through dry spells -- read about Jennifer Harman who nearly left the game. There's also the one bad night that can wipe out weeks of gains (on High Stakes Poker, Phil Hellmuth lost his initial $100,000 stake in about fifteen minutes). The overinflated ego is particularly dangerous to a poker player -- it can easily cloud your judgement. Then, there is the lingering question of how seriously the government's crackdown on online poker will get.
You need to decide why this really bothers you and what the bottom line is -- how much poker are you willing to tolerate and what are you willing to do to get this under control. I think everybody needs to have their own time to pursue their passions, but this sounds like it's getting out of control.
2007-02-11 10:46:47 · answer #3 · answered by onehonestguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poker is a great game, I play poker for a living and I'm married!, My wife support me 100%. But the good thing with poker is that you can play any time , 24/7 live and online. You are you own boss. I alway make sure that my poker schedule is adapt to my familly life. Yes some times, it's tough, but because of my constant effort, my wife understand and cheers for me.
It's a job where you made your own hours, try to explain that to your husband.
Take care
2007-02-11 06:14:25 · answer #4 · answered by pokercoach 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i strongly suggest you have him keep a book of deposits vs withdrawls and total hrs played.
if he can prove that he makes 15-25 dollars plus an hour i dont think you have a problem other then him figuring out he mastered one of the hardest games in the world to play.
then where is the you time?......would be your only question left.
and if hes that good tell him to play from 10pm-10am or so and kiss your but the rest of the day.
problem solved.
assuming he can make 40k per year
i know 1 pro.
he has a very sucessful relationship, figure it out together.
p.s.
you should play him heads up for sex.
2007-02-11 06:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an addiction, he needs help. If he is spending more time playing poker than caring about you this is a problem. Seek counselling (maybe you could go together). If he refuses it is time to seek a marriage councillor. Maybe you could get some kind of hobby yourself and he will realize that you are not going to put up with his behaviour. I hope he stops before you loose everything including your house and possessions!
2007-02-11 06:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by Busy Lizzie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mother-in-law and father-in-law had better than average credit, several credit cards, and all bills were paid on time. Then a tribal casino was opened up in their area. Her problem wasn't poker it was slot machines, but all in all it's gambling. She started going twice a week until she hit it for $500. Then she progressed to going everyday, sinking all of the tips that she had made at work (she was a waitress). The paychecks soon vanished as well. When her husband (who had a private in-home business) refused to give her money, she stooped to stealing money out of his office when he wasn't home. He had to resort to hiding the money because of this. When she racked up more than $2,500 in hot checks from their account, he had to take her name off of his bank account (after selling his truck to pay them off so that she would not be prosecuted). She also would lie to my husband, telling him that I had borrowed money from her and she needed it back. Which worked until he chewed on my *** for it and I finally convinced him otherwise (I personally drove his butt out to the casino, we watched discreetly as she fed the machine $300 worth of $20 dollar bills.) She had gotten approved for disability and had started getting a check once a month for $500. Once she cashed it, she shagged *** straight to the casino. She won $6,000 one night, took her two days to lose it.
I am not telling you this to earn two points. I am trying to point out to you that gambling can be an addiction. If he doesn't get help (because that is what he truly needs), he will ulitimately destroy your life and you along with it. You are going to have to play hardball with him. It's got to be his decision to get help. It's got to be your decision about how much you are willing scarifice until he does.
2007-02-14 13:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummmm try making him intrested in something else like playin sports. Or try to disconnect the internet so he wont play for a while
2007-02-11 06:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by ln_vu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
put on your most seductive lingere and show him how to play POKE -ER.
if this doesnt work, start stashing his winnings and get the heck on...
2007-02-11 06:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband will have to take the initiative to quit this destructive act on his own accord. You cannot help someone who refuses help.
2007-02-11 06:11:57 · answer #10 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋