well i don't want to bore people with my love life but ...................?

Question

ive been dating this guy for about 3 months since last year but the thing is my parents are getting really strict and they actually lock me in the house so i dont get to go spend any time with him any more its not about sex but i cant even see him we started calling eachother through our cell phones guess what my dad took that too valentine is coming up and i think they might lock me in the house to keep me from him what do you think i can do too see him also dont you think my parents are too strict its probably ilegal

i just got out of high school but i cant move out yet so i dont see him in school
and ive tried talking to them a thousand times they just dont trust me to do the right things and it wouldnt work to use a freind as a decoy

im 17 by sept.

im not trying to offend anyone but maybe i should add that my dad is a typical african too him nothing is too strict as long as what he wants he gets

Answer 1

Ok- If you've graduated from high school (you said you were out of school)....then you're probably 18..so what are you waiting for? I moved out a month after I turned 18. Did I have $ ? No, but I got a job and took over my own life. Your parents will run yours until you are ready (mature enough, financially able, wise...etc.) to take control of your own life. Been there and now I am happy as can be putting myself through college. It's not easy but it's a choice you have to make. My advice, unless you know you like/love this guy ( a lot) don't jeopardize your relationship with your parents over someone you might break up with in a month. Sometimes you like someone because your parents don't... It's more fun! ; )

Answer 2

Well I don't want to bore you with a "lecture" from an older person, lol, but just try to imagine that your parents really have your best interest at heart. You may not know it or believe me when I say that when you are a little older and wiser, you will understand and hopefully be grateful that your parents cared so much that they put restrictions on your "dating" life. I remember what it was like to be young and impulsive and feel like you could handle any situation, but in reality, it probably is just your hormones going wacky and making you feel that if you don't see this young man, that your whole world will fall apart. Instead of feeling rebellious against your parents, try calmly and maturely asking them to please explain why they are being so "strict". That may open up the lines of communication more, and you can start to really appreciate why they are keeping you from doing things you think are acceptable, and they don't. Please try and believe that you are one of the lucky ones to have parents that are actually doing what they are obligated to do, which is "parenting". Good Luck

Answer 3

If we were bored with these questions, we wouldn't answer.

Sounds like there's a communication problem here. Could be your parents are scared about what you might get up to, more likely worried about what he will convince you to do. Your best chance is to convince them that you are responsible and sensible. Talk to them. They may have a lot of concerns, so be prepared for the grilling of your life, but with any luck they will loosen the reins a bit.

If that doesn't work, suggest that he comes along when you go out as a family. I know this sounds horrific, but I don't see how they can really refuse since they will get a chance to observe him firsthand.

Answer 4

I think a dicussion between you and your parents is necessary to find out why it is that they don't want you to see him. If it is that they feel he is a bad influence on you and you have been affected negativly by having in him your life(ie grades fell, you being more aloof to your parents) then maybe they are right to not let you see each other. If they like him and you want to see eachother why not invite him over to your house to hang out. That way you are being monitered by your parents but can hang out together, eventually if they see that he is treating you well, by behaving around them, they might change thier mind about him and allow you two to go out together alone.
Trust your parents. Most of the time they do know what is best for you.

Answer 5

Calmy talk with your parents to see why you can't see your boyfriend. Try not to get upset with them and listen to what they have to say. Explain to your parents that you are getting older, (but in a poitive way) and that you want to have a relation ship with this person. If you can't talk or reason with them try to except their judgement on this situation, you'll probably have another time to see your boy friend. Keep in mind your parents most likely have a good reason for not letting you see him. If you do see him explain the situation and take apropriate action from there.

Answer 6

I'm gonna guess that somewhere.... somehow..... they became uncomfortable with your boyfriend, or you gave them a reason not to trust you. They may have thought that the relationship was progressing along too fast for them to feel OK about it. They may have seen or heard something about your boyfriend that doesn't sit well with them. If they haven't told you why they are keeping you from seeing him.... you should probably ask them. And don't get mad when they tell you the reason. Talk to them, and reason with them. Try to understand how they are feeling.

Answer 7

Your age, his age. Their past experiences. Something is happening to cause this. You may not be handling things so well. He might be not so good a person. This may all be false pretenses but I may have hit the nail. Do nothing, this will sort itself out. Do not turn on your blood. You guys may all need council, locking you up is extreme but they may be trying to keep you from certain harm. You're not telling all, you want certain answers. I am praying for you guys, all of you...

Answer 8

What your parents are doing is not illegal. What they are doing is trying to protect you from getting hurt. Well I know it sucks, because you love/like him, but ask them out for one night. Dont you go to school? Well Valentines Day lands on a school day, so you may be able to celebrate with him, a little. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Personally I would ask them why they are being to strict I mean they were kids once why won't they let you be one. It doesn't really seem fair that they lock you in your house and you can't go out to see him! What if there was like a fire or something.

Personally I'm like a bad girl and I just sneak out my window and my parents never know!

Tell me how it works out! Good luck

Answer 10

If the guy has not properly introduced himself to your parents, then he is INVADING their family. This includes calling on the phone. A very simple solution is for your boyfriend to come over one afternoon/evening and properly introduce himself. Then he should make his intentions clearly known to your folks. "We are friends from school, and I would like your permission to call her, and ask her out to the movies." etc. This will more than likely smooth things over.