My sons father hasn't paid child support in a year and a half and dosent help me take care of him. For a year i went to florida every 2 months so that my son could see his father but that started getting pretty expensive since i live in mississippi. His father has a 6 or 7 month old son and 2 step children and he takes care of his sister that is about 1 year old that he helps provide for on a day to day basis. When i ask him to help he tells me he can't and that to help me out for a little bit he can come get our son and give me a break for about a week. I amvery confused about what to do. I want my son to know his father and i dont want to be the bad guy in my sons eyes, and my son is wants to see his dad that is all he has talked about for the past week. He walks around the house asking me if its time to go to daddy's house yet and he even got his bag and started putting his toys in it telling me that he was ready to go to daddy's house. What should i do?
2007-02-11 05:15:14 · 12 answers · asked by single mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
The question you should be asking yourself is; Do you trust him? Is he responsible? Just because he takes care of other children doesn't mean he does it well. If he hasn't paid child support legally you don't have to let the child go. If he hasn't cared enough about the child's welfare to send the child support, what makes you think he will care enough to take good care of him? There are always excuses for not paying but if he is eating well and can afford to rent a movie or eat fast food then he could use that money for the child instead. It can be hard to deal with a child's questions and you might just have to sit down and tell your son that daddy lives far away and that it is too far to go right now. In the end it comes down to who he really is. You know your son's father, I don't. Do you trust him enough to leave your child with him?
2007-02-11 05:25:00 · answer #1 · answered by Nita C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We see clearly that your ex-husband is not a responsible provider, but how does he do with child care....the practical matters, like proper supervision and hygiene and nutrition? How well does he know his son? Is he the type of deadbeat who would nap and leave a two year old unprotected? I did not allow my ex to take our three year old daughter to the beach for just that reason. He was a nice person, but I didn't think he had a clue how active a toddler can be. Your little boy doesn't have a highly developed sense of time yet, so I believe, that for his own safety's sake, I would postpone this trip a little longer. Your husband could pacify him with a phone call or get creative and make a video to keep them in sync. You can assure him that he will be seeing his daddy soon, when the time is right. In the meantime, plan a day in the park, go fly a kite, get out some fingerpaints, invite a playmate over for him; he'll be distracted, and time will take care of your concerns. I hear the voice of a mother who has no peace about sending a mere baby off to the sunshine state. Best wishes to you all.
2007-02-11 05:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child has a right to see his father and vice versa, to have a small child travel alone is very dangerous. If the father wants to see his son so badly than he should be coming to see you. If that is not possible than he should be paying for the both of you to come down if it means that much to him. I thought in the USA there were laws to protect single mothers and dead beat dads that don't pay child support? Can you not report him to the authorities for not paying? Remember he helped bring this child into the world, and he should be taking care of his son before he takes care of other peoples children. That is his choice and should not make you feel pity for him or guilt for asking for child support, what he decides to do is not your problem. His responsibility to pay for his own children. I really hope you go after him for child support.
2007-02-11 05:31:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sevannah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let the child go to his father's. But insist on an adult (hopefully his father) comeing to get him rather than putting the poor child on a plane alone. As far as the child support goes...that's something you have to fight out in court. Child support is NOT payment for visitation. Whether his father pays or not your son has the right to visit with his father.
2007-02-11 20:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should follow your gut instinct. It sounds as though you think your son should see his father - in which case you should let him go and then deal with the child support issue separately.
Alternately you can go to FL with your son, bring your mom or another family member, and you can make a trip out of it. Your son can see his father every day but you will also have someone there to spend time with.
2007-02-11 05:22:40 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Lucky♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how much money he owes or or how much he sees his dad... he should still see him as much as he can when he can. As long as dad is drugs and aclohol free. My daughters dad lives a state away and her bond with her dad has stayed 100% strong even though we havn' lived near him since she was 1. She has a grining smile ear to ear. Something I could never take away. He also did not pay childsupport or any of that good stuff either. He sees her about once every 2-3 months now. She is 8 and fine.
2007-02-11 06:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child has a right to know his father.
2007-02-11 05:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by professorc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you dont have fully custody i wouldnt suggest leaving your son there with his father. it unless your state's laws and his state laws are different than in pennsylvania....because if you let that child go and no custody is in your hands, he does not have to return the child and you might be the one in the child support seat....you could be the one ending up fighting for visitation and not knowing whats happened with your baby.......are you staying with him???????
2007-02-11 05:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by missdarkstar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell NO, 2 years is still a baby, and this "father" sounds like a dog. You let HIM come to the child, spend HIS money and effort.
Try to find a good life and a good dad for your babe, forget this deadbeat dad
2007-02-11 05:20:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If the adoption has been finalized, you may desire to no longer in basic terms hand him lower back despite in case you needed to. you will would desire to get the adoption annulled/dissolved, in the different case she would would desire to circulate with the aid of homestead analyze & courtroom dates to re-undertake him. i do no longer consider your husband. moving away is a contravention of the settlement you made with the mummy. She saved her end--the fact which you have the toddler is information of that--so which you will desire to maintain up your end. besides, it would be merciless. perhaps you may desire to help the mummy discover some counseling to return to words together with her grief. She truly needs some ethical help good now, so please have some compassion and help her discover it. in case you heavily have self assurance the mummy would attempt to kidnap the toddler, then of path you will desire to take precautions. yet please do no longer anticipate the mummy is a ability criminal purely simply by fact she's grieving.
2016-09-28 23:20:01 · answer #10 · answered by emilios 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋