dose any one out there know any funny jokes i will reward the funny est the beast answer?

Question

dose any one out there know any funny jokes i will reward the funny est the beast answer

Answer 1

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks out into a house to look for money and a gun and finds a young couple in the bed.

He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too!!"


Q:What is the most slippery country? A: Greece

Answer 2

There was an englishman and irshman and a scottsman and they walked into a cave...the englishman saw 4 marmite sandwhiches just as he was about to eat one a voice said "DON'T EAT THE MARMITE SANDWHICHES!" so he sat down and read his paper, the irishman walked in and notice the sandwhiches, jus as he was about to eat them a voice said "DON'T EAT THE MARMITE SANDWHICHES!" so he sat down and read his paper, then the scottsman came in and saw the marmite sandwhiches and jus as he was about to eat them a voise said "DON'T EAT THE MARMITE SANDWHICHES!" but he didn't listen and ate the sandwhiches, the voice said it twice...then the voice said i told you once i told twice i wiped my bum with every slice!!!