Need some advice on the following situation?

Question

I met a girl at my brothers wedding, spent most of the night with her and have been seeing her on and off for about a year, at the time she was one of my now sister-in-laws best briends, but they had a massive falling out just after the wedding reception and have not spoken since. my sister-in-law has said that she cannot stop me from seeing this girl, but she will never allow her back into her life in any way, shape or form (my brother doesnt care abou tthe situation, and my mum is happy for me to do what i feel is right). the problem i have is, i come from a very close family and think that with me staying with this girl would cause complications in the family, (i would never be able to have the 2 in the same room, i would always have to make sure they never crossed paths etc) but then i also dont want to end things with this girl as i think it could lead somewhere.

im just looking for some advice on what others would do in this sort of situation.

for those that have replied, thanks for you input, as for the reason they had a falling out - prior to wedding my sis-in-laws friend (girl i am seeing) went through a divorce, my sis-in-law was her shoulder to cry on etc, any problems, any chats etc she was there for her, when it came time for the wedding reception, she told my sis-in-law that she would be on time for photos etc. in the end she was about 30-45 mins late and missed the photos coz she could not get away from a prior event earlier than she thought.

when i was told this i laughed and said is that all, but then i guess a womans wedding/recpetion day etc is very improtant.

once again thanks for all your replies, they have given me a lot to think about. from my point of view, i can see where my sis-in-law is coming from, she gave all this attention to help out her friedn during her divorce, but her friend could not be on time for this 1 thing. but then i look at that and think to myself, this woman has just gone through a divorce like a month prior, is going to a wedding/reception really and event that you would want to go to.

Answer 1

Follow your heart Romeo. Don't let this Juliet out of your sight, no matter what the Capulets and the Montegue's think about you. You are not a 14 year old, in puppy love, these are real adult feelings we are talking about.
You two could have a real love, marry, have a child... everyone loves a happy couple. YOU should set the example of friendliness and forgiveness here. Let the others "catch up" to what is right.
good luck. Happy Valentine's Day to you..I'll be your best man.

PS. The principal of my school once told me, "Never take sides in an argument between two girl friends. They will always eventually make up.. and YOU will be the bad guy".

PPS. Stop trying to figure out the logic (or lack of) about an argument between two women! We are guys, and this is NOT our territory or anything we will understand. The photo of the girlfriend can be added by computer if necessary (see what a stupid "guy" solution that would be?)
Be the best boyfriend you can be. Deal with the cold shoulder treatment at family events. It will pass.

Answer 2

I don't know what the problem was between your sister-in-law and her friend, but it's hard to think it would be worth holding a grudge for over a year.You are from a close family you say and only one person has a problem with this girl you're seeing. Therefore, I think you should do what feels right to you. If you really have feelings for the girl you have every right to keep seeing her. It is not your responsibility to see that your sister-in-law never shows up when you're with your girlfriend. That's her problem and she sounds like she's pretty immature in this regard. If she chooses to stay away when the two of you are with your family, that's her choice (a poor one but a choice). Maybe some day she'll mature enough to forgive her and get on with her life. For now your sister-in-law's hatred for this person is allowing your girlfriend to live rent free in her head. That's pretty ridiculous. Don't let it interfere with your happiness.

Answer 3

First of all it is great to hear that someone is concerned about there family. I am sure you have discussed this problem with the one you Love and maybe she can give you some honest insight as to why your sister in law is being unreasonable. Then you need to let your sister in law know that you care for this person and you truly do not mean to cause any trouble in the family and that you wished all could get along and be respectable human beings toward each other. I would stand firm with what I believe and let my family know. My happiness is important too, Whats to say that said sister in law would approve of some one different? She may dis-like that choice also. So SIL needs to grow up alittle and you go and have a wonderful life with the person you care for.

Answer 4

What happened between them? Is it that bad that their friendship could never really be repaired?

If the answer is no, maybe over time, if you stay with her, you can help them patch things up. I have had friends that I've fallen out with that I once vowed would I would never call my friend again but over time was able to let go of our rocky past. If the answer is yes, then you may have a problem that will lead to many uncomfortable situations for you. However, if you think she's possibly "the one" for you, it may be worth it. The women will just have to find a way to exist in the same family and make their love for two brothers be stronger than their hate for each other and get past it. They don't have to be best friends but they shouldn't expect either of you to miss out on the closeness your family has because of their own pettiness. Don't break off the relationship because of this...if it's meant to be, it's meant to be whether or not they get along!

Answer 5

you position a nasty customary by potential of no longer checking on the point of care, and making the aides fantastic deficiencies all alongside. As a nurse it is your responsibility and finally your license on the line. also, if there is an significant difficulty of negligence, trust me, your on-line agency will throw you below a bus, to get the nice and comfortable temperature off the ability. I have considered many nurses lose in courtroom circumstances for lack of care, or maybe criminal negligence and abandonment for sufferers in lengthy time period care nursing centers . You owe it to the sufferers, your self, and the ability to provide the utmost aspect of care. you'll discover through the years, there are quite some lazy human beings operating round well being care centers. some human beings will always attempt to do the least they could damage out with. thankfully they're frequently the exception. do not hassle about your acceptance with the aides. it really is tremendous to have friends at artwork, yet certainly this isn't any longer why you're there. As a nurse, you're approved to be the affected individual propose, and that is your established responsibility. Your secondary resposibilities are to your self and the ability, and the finest area of agonize about is that if the aides are satisfied with you once you ask them to do their job. attempt to mindset them in a specialist way. don't be afraid to do your area in case you does no longer be ignoring larger aspect duties. And write human beings up on condition that you're unable to acheive the outcome otherwise, a affected individual or the ability's protection is endangered or different moral/legal themes change right into a venture.

Answer 6

I'm surprised you ask. You deserve a life of happiness. What if this girl was the ONE.? Would you walk away from being happy? I think you should see whomever makes you happy. If you grow close enough to consider something more permanant, then the sister n law needs to let the past go. If your family in general like this girl, then the problem in my viewpoint is still the sister n law. It's her issue, not yours. Be Happy, love who loves you.

Answer 7

Maybe you should find out what the falling out was all about, it could give you some insight into your 'girl's' character, and/or your sis-in-law. You are right to not want to create waves, but what if sis-in-law is the one over-reacting and being childish? Then you could be missing out on a potential great relationship, on the other hand, your sis-in-law may have a really good reason for her decision, and she may save you a bunch of heartache....try to find out why.

Answer 8

Well, you can't let your sis-in-law stop you from finding happiness, please.... No way! If I were you, I would keep seeing her, and if the time comes when you need the two of them to be civil, talk to them each individually. Tell them both you care about them, and it is hard for you. Ask them if they couldn't put their differences aside for your sake, instead of you being put in the position of losing your love, or losing an inlaw... Now, of course, this depends on what happened between them. If your current lady tried to "diddle" your brother at the wedding, this won't ever work.... Short of something as horrible as that, if they are both adults, they should be able to get over it. Does your sis-in-law really want say in your love life, because that's your business, and if she loves your brother, and is as concerned about family as you seem to be, she'll try to put it in the past for the sake of her husband, her bro-in-law, and the longer future happiness of the family. If she can't, tell your brother to "put the pressure on", unless he's completely whipped, he'll intervene....

Answer 9

This sounds way too stressful already. If you have to work so hard for happiness, and making everyone happy is impossible, is it really worth it?

However, you are not responsible for your SIL's happiness. Only she is. The same for mom, dad, sibling, (add relative here).

A family is the basic social unit. It's tough to make "family" work. Don't worry so much about the past and all the family relatives. Trust me, when they need you they'll come knocking. Instead concentrate on your relationship with your GF and let the rest work itself out, or not. There's really nothing you can do. And, it's not even your job.

Answer 10

Do what your heart says. If you really like this girl and she makes you happy then it might me stupid in losing her because of your sister in law. You are going to live with her in the future not your sister in law. Many of us are going to give you advice but at the end of the day it is you that has to decide. My advice is if you are happy then go ahead and forget the complications there might be in the family. Who knows things might get better between your sister in law and you girlfriend and in the end it might all be worth it any way Good Luck!