When my seven year old son misbehaves, is it ok for me to have him write a punnishment? If not, please help.?

Question

I am open to suggestions

Answer 1

What do you mean by write a punishment? Are you saying is it ok to have him determine his own punishment? I guess that depends on what the crime was. I know in the past I have said to my boys "What do you think I should do?" or "What do you think your punishment should be the next time you do....?" And they did a pretty good job ,they wasn't as easy on themselves as I thought they would be

Answer 2

This could be a hindrence when it come to learning. However I do want you to know I understand your frustration.

You need to plan a method of discipline and then be consistant with it. It does not matter what the plan is, what matters is that you are consistant. Using things that he does at school could actually back fire in the long run, not to pick on you. When I was in the fourth grade I had a hard time with math and I had an especially hard time with my time tables. We had a test on them everyday, and I would get licks if I made under a seventy. I got to where I would scream and cry when I was dropped off at school.

If you make your son write down his punishment writing may become a chore and something that he hates.

Try the naugty corner, but just make sure you are firm without shouting and that you keep putting him back there when he does not obey. Do not be intimidating but be stern if you know what I mean. Then expect apologies when it is over with. You will be worn out by the end of the day. I am sure that you are familiar with what I am saying, it came directly from super nanny. I tried this on my seven year old autistic son and he is doing a lot better. If you believe in spanking the key is the same, be consistant, and do not tolorate hitting talking back spitting that sort of thing. It is all in the tone of voice and you will gain peace in your household I promise.

Answer 3

Nothing wrong with this approach as long as parent and child discuss the punishment and determine it is in keeping with the reason for why it is going to be given. For ex. a child offers to remain in his room for an hour, that's fine if he isn't going in there to have uninterrupted play time on the PSP, Wii or Computer etc.

On the other end of the scale, sometimes children deal themselves punishments that are harsher than necessary so as long as a compromise system is in place, I personally don't see anything wrong with this method.

As the parent you have the first and last word in this issue, therefore, overseeing the punishment issue with the child and ensuring that it is neither too lenient nor too harsh, can lead to a very responsible child who soon learns to understand good from poor behavior and is a great child to be around. Started early in life this approach can sometimes bring about a teen and young adult who actually conduct themselves in very mature ways. At least that is what I found was the case with our 5. Yes, we used this system and for us it was very effective...you just can't let the child have the full and complete run of the system.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Personally, I think that you are wise to use punitive measures when you son misbehaves. We have seen the results of an overly-permissive society, its high time we wind back the clock and start teaching children full responsibility for their actions.

One of the biggest mistakes Bill Clinton made was lying on television to the Senate hearing and Congress, so that children all over the world mistakenly perceived that as "its ok to lie and keep lying until you are proven wrong." He sent children a terrible message with that error on his part as children thought, "if a President can lie and get away with it, we surely can!!"

Teaching responsibility for their actions is one of the best things a parent can ever help a child learn. It ultimately makes the child a better citizen, a better parent and a better part of society.

Answer 5

I think it is fine. My children are 13, 11 and 9. I have had them write explaining what the undesired behavior was, what they think should be done about it, alternate acceptable behavior they could have used in the same situation, how they plan on handling the situation in the future and how they think we should handle future lapses in judgment. It seemed to sink in better that way as they had to really consider the behavior from several different angles. This not only made sure they understood why I didn't want them to act that way, but they had a plan for the future and a better understanding of the outcome.

Answer 6

Often in the classroom I will ask the student to tell what happened and how to handle it better next time. They might even draw a picture to illustrate it if their verbal skills are not good enough to write.
You are looking to change the behaviour.
And the written approach can let them think about it a bit. They may not come up with the right answer but it allows you to talk to them about the situation, what is wrong and how to do it better.
This creates the opportunity to for them to think things through and sooner or later they will need this skill and have to use it all by themselves.

Answer 7

My mom made me do that once. It was fine. I was actually too hard on myself and she ended up giving me an easier punishment than I asked for. (I was 12 when this happened.)

Edit** I mean he has to write down his punishment. For example: "I think I should be grounded for two days" or something. I foyu make hime like write a story, he will think of being punished whenever he has to write.

Answer 8

Dont do things like that. Then he will hate learning/writing/reading. Try taking things away, it sometimes works for my 7 almost 8 year old.

Answer 9

instead of doing that i would make him write out why he did what he did to get punished inthe first place then when he reads it back too you he will relize wow did i do that..i think making a kid go to bed early is a harsh punishment no tv no videos no xtra time hanging with mom.that works for my 5 year old and 11 ear old brother makes them think what they did... hope this helps out...good luck...dusty

Answer 10

Dont have him do anything. Just have him do nothing. He will become so bored, he will always remember that feeling of being bored and knowing that if he misbehaves thats what will happen.