If a woman proposes marriage to a man, should he take HER last name?

Question

Of course she proposes with a diamond ring, and he accepts the ring. Shouldn't he change is last name or at very least, not expect her to change hers?

Totally hypothetical.

Answer 1

That is up to the couple. If the man wants to take her last name, and she wants him to take her last name - then yes. There's no reason for marrying couples to change their names at all, but if they want to, it's up to them who takes who's name.

Now whether he should and whether he can are different questions. Should he? Technically, no. He should do what ever he feels comfortable with. Can he? Yes. But unfortunately there's a little controversy around the issue and it might take some time to get it finalized.

Another problem would be "macho-ism". Most men probably wont want to take their wife's name because it would show weakness or feminism in themselves. I don't know what I would do in such a situation myself - it would take some thinking over - but I'd like to think I'm open-minded enough to at very least consider the idea.

Why not both take eachothers' last names? =D

Answer 2

My husband is a wedding photographer and he shot a wedding where the man took the womans last name. The groom was a business man and had a common bland name like Smith or something. The brides last was something that sounded more elite like Buckingham or something rich.
It was odd, but it was what they wanted so it does happen.

This is the what the laws in South Dakota reads. It sound easy enough here for a man to change his surname to his wifes.

name change?

Although it has been customary for the woman to assume her husband's last name upon marriage, there is no legal reason for doing so. A woman may retain her maiden name without any formal legal proceedings simply by continuing to use it. In addition, a man may assume his wife's last name upon marriage.

If a woman chooses to use her husband's last name, the husband's first name does not become a part of the woman's name- Consequently, the woman should sign her name as Jane A- Smith and not as Mrs. John Smith. The same rule applies if the man chooses to use his wife's last name. It is important for a person to always sign his or her name in the same way-

Any name change should be communicated to the Social Security Administration and the division of motor vehicles (so that you can obtain a corrected driver's license). You should also notify employers, banks, insurance companies, and creditors of your marriage and any change in your name.

Answer 3

In this day of "anything goes" does it really matter how one came to the point of marriage (who proposed to who?)? In fact, MORE women are proposing to marriage these days! Seriously, what matters is that there is love- obviously, if she poposed she and he are in love (no one really proposed if they know they are going to be flat out turned down- unless you are some crazed person in love with someone you never met, are obsessed with or a celeb,etc.). I say, it doesn't matter how or who's name you take or even if you create your own new name for both of you! What matters is that you are together. Everyone/Couple is different. She obvioulsy knew her boyfriend well enough to know that he woud be happy with this idea-

Now, if the woman propsed first to beat him to it so she wouldn't have to change her name (if that was her thinking), I don't think that is a very honest realtionship to build a marriage off of. That spells out trouble.

Be open, be honest...as this isn't nearly as complicated as things will get once you are married.

Answer 4

I read a statistic that 1 out of every 100 marriages have the man take the woman's last name. This is a personal decision, something both parties should discuss. It is not necessary for either partner to change their name however I believe it is still traditional to have the woman take the man's name.

Answer 5

Usually when a woman proposes she gives him something like a nice watch, not a ring. Who takes who's last name is completely up to the couple; it doesn't have anything to do with who proposes.

Answer 6

This is a very interesting question because I've never heard of a man been proposed to by a woman with a diamond ring (wired)...But if that's the case, then yeah he ought to change his last name to the woman's because in this relationship, she's the man.....

Answer 7

Regardless of who proposes, the question of the last name is up to the couple to discuss. I always suggest that people not think of themselves, but to the future if they have children - it is very important they have one last name with which to identify. Kids in school get totally confused if mom and dad have different names, maybe the kid is hyphenated, etc. It can get really nuts.

Answer 8

Good question. I am getting married in three months and though I love my fiance more than anyone, I am not taking his last name because the "tradition" is so old and outdated, it needs to be abandoned. Why should I take his tag, but he doesn't have to take anything of mine? I think the ideal situation is for BOTH parties to hyphenate.

Don't take his last name if you don't want to. A lot of women don't anymore.

Answer 9

I believe that it is up to the couple, but why would he? She just initiated the process to marriage. The proposal doesn't determine who gets whose last name.

Answer 10

Culture is made of stuff that is largely invisible. This is the stuff that says the guys name succeeds in marriage. Even though the only sure genes to go to the children come from the mothers side.