How can I start having fun?

Question

I'm single and I have 3 children,
After being in 2 violent marraiges I have no support with the kids
My days consist of nappies and wingeing,
I've realised that I need to get out and start having fun
I live 200 miles from my mates as I had to move a year ago,
I've spent the past year learning to drive, decorating my house and settling the kids, Now I've got my car it's what now ??
How do I get to meet people to go out with
I'm only 28 but I feel like i'm 58

I don't want to meet a man, My god I couldn't imagine getting with another bloke
I just would like to be able to go out on A friday night

To the silly person who thinks I should put my kids first well I have,
I spent the past 8 years raising my kids with no help whatsoever,
I haven't had a night out for over a year.
Think before you write stupid answers cos you don't have any idea

Selfish person yeah right,
I left my husband cos he hit my daughters,
Some of you are so silly I was just asking how do I meet people to go out.
Hardly selfish
Autumn you need a reality check
As I stated in my question I haven't had a night out in over a year,
Hardly selfish is it,
I think I deserve I night out, My kids have the most stable environments possible, everything I do is for them.
I can't stay shut in for 18 years.

Answer 1

How old are your children? Are they young enough to attend a mom/toddler group with you...look into those because you will find valuable friends who really can relate to the problems that motherhood brings.

See if there are church activities in your area too- they can be fun.

Congratulations on getting your life back together and being strong enough to set up home alone with three children in a whole new area! Remember, if you can do that, you can do anything!

Answer 2

Well first of all you have a car and internet as a startin point but i will mention that later.
If you are not happy living so far away from your mates then move back near them I know you say you've decorated but if theres no one you could befriend around you then your options lie with going somewhere where your friends are based.
On the internet you have the word friends at your fingertips and can find lots of new friend but you can never be too careful google the word friend finder in ya search engine and some good web links will show up like i say be careful if you choose that alternative as there a lot of wierdos out there.
How about using your car to go see your friends or find community centres etc that have clubs an classes you could join as this too is a great way to make friends while learning a new hobby
Good luck I hope this helps

Answer 3

Well, since you have 3 kids, i would assume that you don't get much time to MEET anyone to go out with on a friday night. Try thinking a little bit closer to home. Are there any moms from your childrens school that you think seem interesting? Try and strike up a conversation with them sometime. Suggest going for a coffee, if you two have fun then, suggest you do something some weekend.
Or invite some of your kids friends, and there parents, over for a game night and casual dinner (even pizza) you may be able to strike up a friendship with some other moms this way.
Do you go to church, and if you do, do they have a singles group? I know your not looking for a man, but there may be other single moms you can meet there. And if there isn't, groups like these usually meet once a week or once a month so you've still gotten to do something for yourself.
Try getting to know some of your neighbors if you haven't already.
Get your kids involved in afterschool activities, dance classes, anything. Kids=parents, afterall. Or, join the PTA/PTO at your kids school.
If all else fails, there is nothing wrong with going out by yourself. Send the kids to a sitter and go see a movie you've been dying to see, or visit an art musuem, or grab a book and head to a coffee shop and just relax. Get your nails or hair done. But, be brave. When your out doing things by yourself, challenge yourself to strike up a conversation with someone that seems interesting. Even just the hairdresser. About anything. Simple introductions often lead to friendships of a lifetime. I met my best friend becuase i thought her t-shirt was goofy and commented on it. We've been inseperable for over 10 years. Be patient, but be willing to take risks.
The online dating idea wasn't a bad idea either, just think "online mom hunt" instead. Try a site like CafeMom.com (kind of like myspace but only for moms) and look for other women in your area to start chatting with.

Answer 4

If you ever had a passion or a curious interest in something, bring it back-seek out others in your area online. Find forums that are related to your interest and try to find others in your area you can do things with.

You can also find out what local schools or cities offer classes in various subjects and interests-like art, cooking, day hikes/trips-maybe involve the kids?. They usually last about 6 classes or so-maybe cost 50-80 dollars, but you can make some nice aquaintences/friends that way too.

Do you have a job? Is there anyone there you could go out with?

200 miles isn't that far really, its only about 2 hours driving. I do it often to visit my mom, neice, friends...How bout a few of your friends to drive out to your place, have a good party night, then they stay the night and go home the next morning/afternoon.

Its all about what you are interested in-and you seeking out those interests- that is where you will find others you want to spend time with. Good luck!

Answer 5

well, you're life is NOT EVER going to be like it was before you had kids. It's just not possible. However, you can still have fun! Find mom's groups in your area. You know, women who meet once a week for dinner or dancing. I think you really to hang out with some women in your situation. They will understand what you are dealing with at home and support you. Don't try to go hang out with 18 year olds...they are just at a different point in their life than you are and won't understand how hard it is to raise children.
Good luck and go out there and get some support from your fellow mommies!

Answer 6

Get out with the kids, go to the park or zoo or museum. Anywhere that other Mothers will be. You need to find women that understand where you are at in your life. The bonus is that you can spend fun time with the kids.

I have childless friends, but those relationships are sometimes a little harder since a major part of my life are my kids.

Make sure to also have Mommy time. Time just for you to do something just for you. It is so easy to get burned out when your a single mother.

Answer 7

Firstly if your children are young enough to be at home in the day find your local surestart or mother and toddler group, you'll make friends with other parents who maybe socialise regularly without the kids. Once you've got a network of new friends and sure they won't mind watching your kids every now and again just to give you abit of me time x Good luck sweetie x

Answer 8

After reading the replies, and then again rereading your question, it appears to me you are looking for someone to meet and become romantically involved with.

I may not be a relationship expert (but am married and very happy for the 2nd time), but I am a mom of 3 as well. I am 32. I am getting the impression that you cannot be alone to just enjoy your kids and maybe so do some soul-searching. You are only 28 and you have 3 kids by 2 different fathers and are out looking for a relationship? In my opinion, I would take the advice of the previous posters and find a MOMMY group or playdates for your kids and not worry about what you want for right now. Your kids need to come first. If they see you going from relationship to relationship (and violent ones at that), its going to be hard for them to respect you as they get older. If they see their mom in these volatile relationships, there is an increased risk they will follow the same pattern. I am all about protecting the kids.

You CAN have fun, within reason, as long as your kids needs are put well before your own. I know too many moms out there that dump their kids off each Fri & Sat (and sometimes even weeknights) to go off and date, party and have fun that they should have relinquished when they started having baby after baby...

When the time is right, you will meet someone right for you, and someone who will accept that you have young childen. It happened for me. I moved back to my hometown after their father and I divorced and he reenlisted in the military and went to Iraq for 2 years. I met my next door neighbor and we are now happily married with our own child.

Good Luck and I implore you to please put your kids and their need for stability and consistency first before you search out things for yourself.

Answer 9

i go out every day with my lot, we go to toddler groups- they are only a pound and they play and i can gossip to the other mums and make friends, we go to music groups, soft play , swimming anything we can think of, trips to the park etc etc. kids are the opening wedge into society, if you have kids you immediately have something in common with all the other mums
the other thing i do is work part time- government should pay most of your childcare and a few hours away from the children in adult company may be the best thing for you. i like going to work because i am me not mummy

Answer 10

Hi, it might sound cliched, but toddler groups and talking to other mothers in the school playground has really helped me - I met my closest friends that way. Also, because we all have kids and understand each others situations, we're able to help each other out. We get together at each other's homes during the day or in the evenings, and just take all our kids with us - it means they have someone to play with and gives us a bit of a breather while they're playing. We do occasionally go out for a night out but not all of us have family on tap for babysitting duties, so it does take a fair bit of organisation.
It's daunting introducing yourself to people you don't know, but kids are a great ice-breaker - try inviting your kids' friends round for tea after school ( you'll get chatting to their mums ) or talking to other mums at toddler groups - after all, you have something in common with these other women! Just remember, a lot of parents feel isolated and lonely and would be glad of the chance to get to know someone too. It worked for me!