my attitude is ruining my relationship?

Question

ive been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. weve had our ups and downs but we have worked thru all of that. we even have a child together. but i do know that my attitude sometimes drives him away. its not an everyday thing but sometimes i can get mad about little things and take it out on him. how can i stop taking things out on him and i can i learn to communicate with him better if i have a problem with him. i know sometimes he may even feel like not coming home so how can i make him feel good once again without all the drama.

Answer 1

Knowing that in life God gives no guarantees about life here on Earth, treat the ones you love like there is no tomorrow, and your kindness will be returned to you. Smile and the whole world will smile with you.

Answer 2

Without knowing you, it seems like you have either an uptight history with other boyfriends or an uptight family relationship history, which may make you nit picky over those little things. Try and learn to relax, pick your battles about the things you get mad over, and most of all talk to him about you getting mad. If he doesnt know why you are getting mad, then he may be in the dark. Train yourself to ask questions before you get angry or respond in a frustrated way. Is this important enough to risk my relationship? Is this a huge issue in the house? Example #1: You walk in and he made you a huge dinner with flowers and wine; however the kitchen is a mess and it is your night to do kitchen cleanup.......Do you get mad over this because you told him a 1000 times to keep the house neat and destroy all the romance that he tried to create....on stuff like this blow it off...not worth what he was trying to do for you. Example #2: You walk in and him and some friends are "blazing" in the living room...not only is weed illegal but you told him a thousand times you didn't want this in your house or in your life. This second example is the most serious and worth a big argument. Now these examples may not be in no way close to ur problems but look at what is important? Each time before you get mad ask yourself is this important enough to argue about that IF he leaves I will be able to live with it.

Answer 3

Just the fact that you realize you are doing something wrong is a good first step. I suggest that before you feel like you are going to go off on him you take a deep breath and count to ten then try and think is what i am getting mad about worth the fight? Sometime people just feel like fighting. Lack of sleep or something someone did to them during the day often come out when you get home and you tend to take it out on the ones you love. If you have been together for a long time then it is probably the little things he does and says that you ignored early in your relationship that are finally coming back to bother you. If its something he does try asking him nicely (Without sarcasm) if he could please stop doing that because it bothers you.

Answer 4

first off, recognizing that you are in that "attitude" when it's happening is the key. I do it too sometimes, and it used to be that I didn't recognize it until AFTER I'd opened my big mouth. Now I pay more attention, especially when I'm acting irritable. Best thing to do is when you recognize the feelings, talk to yourself about it. Maybe write down your feelings and then when you are calm, go back and read them and decide if the problem or issue is worth bringing up, and if so, think how you can do it unemotionally, calmly and fairly. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Well you could have PMS per, during, and post that gives you one week that your ok some women have it all month.

You also may have anxiety or a mood disorder talk to your Dr.
How long has this been going on.
Has it started after your child was born or has it been going on before your child was born
keep notes on when you get upset so you can tell your Dr.
He/she (your Dr.) can help

Yes it can ruin a relationship if you let it go with out getting some help

Answer 6

You need to treat him like you would treat a friend, with respect. I think you may be too comfortable w/him that you almost take the relationship for granted. Give him the loving attention that you would expect from him and then maybe he'll reciprocate. No one wants to deal w/attitude, even you.

Answer 7

hold ur temper.such a small things dont make it bigger try to love what he do.open ur mind to listen what he says on u.give and take is the easiest way to hold ur realtion u might lose him if u keep your attitude like that u know it better than us how its going talk to him and at least maybe he would have more patient and try to understand u always. no one can help you. ONLY YOUR SELF..soooo try to help your self soon as possible

Answer 8

You have to learn how to control your attitude if it's that serious. Talk to him. You can't be in a good relationship if that's how it's going to be. And if you have a child, how do you think your child feels when he or she sees you fighting? Best of luck!

Answer 9

KEY WORD DRAMA!!! STOP THE DRAMA... WHEN EVER YOU FEEL LIKE LOOSING YOUR TEMPER.. WALK GO MAKE A JOURNAL AND WRITE EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE FEELING AND IM TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE IM THE SAME WAY AND WHEN YOU WRITE DOWN YOUR FEELINGS IS LIKE YOU ARE TELLING THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE.. THIS IS WHAT I DID.. EVERYTIME I WOULD FEEL A TANTRUM I WOULD TAKE MY JOURNAL AND GO TO THE PARK SOMEWHERE ALONE AND I WOULD HAVE THE ARGUMENT OR TANTRUM AS I WROTE IT DOWN JUST AS IF I WAS SCREAMING AND ARGUING WITH MY HUSBAND.. AFTER WHILE IT STARTED TO WORK AND WHEN I READ BACK AT THE THINGS I WROTE I EVEN FOUND MY SELF APOLOGIZING TO MY JOURNAL WHO IS TAKING MY HUSBANDS PLACE.. TRY IT REALLY IT WORKS.. OR YOU ARE GOING TO LOOSE YOUR HUSBAND.. IM TELLING YOU I PROMISE IT WORKS. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 10

Try anger management class. Learn to appreciate him more.
He must be very nice to be able to put up with the drama.