I can't help it?

Question

I was with a guy off and on for just over two years and then it just didn't work out any more
I was single for about a year and a half before this guy I knew finally told me how he felt about me for six years
I hezatated to start anything with him because I still had strong feelings for my x but then at the same time I didn't wanna be alone and I didn't wanna hurt any more
it was going good at first with this new guy but then I couldn't stop thinking about my x and it's driving me crazy
I wanna be over my x but I just can't seem to let him go

Answer 1

You have no choice, there is NO future with you ex.

You have a chance to be with a guy who will truly love you for everything you are, and who will work hard to make you happy.

That is silly, with time you will get over your ex. Write a list of pros and cons, and show yourself how many more things that are worse about your ex, than good qualities.
Being away from him will losen the grip he has on your mind.

Answer 2

If you and your ex have been broken up for a year and a half I would say that it's definitely time to move on with your life but at the same time if you are still thinking about your ex that much then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone because that person just might be a rebound and if your ex decides to pop back into your life the other person will get hurt because of the fact that you can't let go of your ex. So I think you should get your ex completely out of your system before you decide to date anyone else. Sounds like you really have strong feelings for your ex but your happiness should come first.

Answer 3

It is strange that you broke away from a person who is not moving out of your memories, efforts notwithstanding. But the stage in which you are now placed you need to be more fair and firm toward yourself. Don't recede into self-deception. And do not let the second person feel being cheated. You need to be forgetful of your past and start life afresh. many people do it and there is no reason why you also cannot do the same. You may treat your past as a tornado which you have survived and all that was before the storm has vanished in a sharp sweep and just in one go. Think about the irreversibility of your decision to quit x and to let y in. Should you turn vacillating now, serious situations could arise and should you still remain imprisoned in your past your present will be devastated.

Answer 4

Take a moment to look back on the relationship with your ex realistically an objectively. There were reasons that it did not work out. People tend to idealize things after the fact, remembering only the good times. This should help to remind you of the way it really was. Then focus on your present relationship. Be honest and open with him about how you feel and want you want out of the relationship. If you still can not give him your undivided attention, then break it off for his sake. No one wants to be second to an old memory.

Answer 5

Every time you start to think about the ex, just remember 1 bad thing about him. It's easy to focus and romanticize the good things from a past relationship. You say it just didn't work out anymore, keep focusing on why it didn't.

Maybe this new guy isn't the right one either, but that doesn't mean the ex is Mr Right...keep looking and don't start relationships because your afraid of being alone...at that point really, any warm body will work.

Answer 6

Darlin the same thing happened to me. You need to give this new guy a chance so he can express himself. Ur ex aint comin back. You need to get over him. I know it hurts sooo bad too but darlin "time heals everything"..I was with my ex for about almost three years and things didnt work out then we broke up and it took me almost two years to get over him until i found someone else. But darlin dont feel bad i went thru da same thing and trust me it aint easy. But occupy ur time and have fun. God bless and make the right decisions.....

Answer 7

that guy who gave all attention to you now is there for you to made you happy and to love you but if ur x is always on ur mind he cant do more to made you happy.. better 4get your x slowly and time will come u will be more happy than ever try give space to this new guy give more ur time to him and attention

Answer 8

just think about all the time u r loosing thinking about someone that is not there anymore, and instead of thinking of someone that is with you , trying to establish a new relation, when we want to forget someone we just do it...! we command our body and thoughts the thoughts does not command us.

Answer 9

these things take time.... a lot longer sometimes than you think