ok let me ask this is anyone the black sheep of the family so to speak?

Question

does your family realize how much it hurts you with me i dont know how it even happened or how to fix it my dad hasnt spoken to me its been maybee 6 months im the youngest of 4 and no one can give me a good reason as to why my dad hates me my mom died in 1991 so yeah it hurts

im 45 years old

i have always tried speaking to him he would usually yell everytime .ive visited on fathers day but he would not answer the door and he knew it was me he has a moniter to see who is standing there so i just slipped the card under the door

Answer 1

yup know the feeling.. seems like everything i try to do right for someone that needs help it pisses off someone else.. so at one point or another someone in the family is never talking to me.. i'm damned if i do and damned if i don't.. :(

Answer 2

Hi sometimes we all get mixed up feelings when things are tough. Your Dad may even think that it's you not talking to him. Maybe you have never had the relationship you would have liked with him (he may feel exactly the same.) Try writing to him. Put the ball into his court put all your feelings down and tell him how you feel that it's not the way you want things. You might be surprised at his reply. You dont' say how the rest of the family get on with him or you. I am the youngest of three and I take everything very personally perhaps this is the case with you? You are not the black sheep. You may be different but then aren't all sibblings!!!

Good luck and I would love to hear if you have success. All the best in your future with your family. xx

Answer 3

You need to talk to your Dad yourself or maybe write a letter to him. I am sure he doesnt hate you, you are his youngest daughter. Maybe you remind him alot of your Mom. But I would sit down and write him a letter and tell him how you feel. Apologize to him if you feel you may have said something to hurt his feelings. Let him know how much it hurts you that he hasnt talked to you in six months. Also let him know how much you miss him, maybe offer to take him out to dinner. I feel like I am the black sheep of my family also. But dont let that stop you from reestablishing your relationship with your Dad. I would quit asking your siblings why and take the matter in your own hands. Sit down and write a heartfelt letter and see where it goes from there. Just dont give up, he is always going to be your Dad and let him know you want him to be a part of your life.
Good luck and hang in there!

Answer 4

im 17 and am deffinatley the black sheep of the family i hate my dad because he left my mum when i was born but if that wasnt enouge he had the cheak to put his nose in again when it was my 7th birthday he moved back to england and phoned my family and said he would contact the soliciters and take my mum to cort if she didnt allow him to come and see me once a week .

so now he comes to see me every sunday after leaveng my mum alone with a baby for seven years almost pennyless

but what really pis*es me of the most im seventeen and he is still coming to see me once a week even though i dont talk to him

the thing that keeps me going is the fact that in 1 year i am of age and i can tell my so called dad to fu*k off if i want his soliciters cant do a thing abuut it and me and mu mum will be rid of him forever . i cant wait - only two hundred and sixty three days to go

Answer 5

I am a black sheep - in fact there are memebers of my family that I haven't talked to in a long time. My family wanted to control me, make me their punching bag, their scapegoat. I got tired of it and moved across the country to be with my now husband.

A lot of what I got in return was guilt - why had I done this TO THEM? Why had I hurt THEM? No one ever asked me why I had felt this need to get away and break contact. I'm still willing to talk to them, as long as they break the guilt trips and we can start over new.

Perhaps your father feels that he is hurt, that it's all about him. Tough, but true. Perhaps he feels that talking to you opens old wounds, or he thinks you did something to him.

The best thing I can tell you to do is to keep trying to talk to him. Probably by mail. Keep everything positive. Don't whine at him and ask him why or beg him to come back into your life. Tell him what you are doing. What you've acomplished and who you've met. Tell him you miss him and that you'll write to him again. If he writes back in the negative, don't get upset or angry. Just let it go and try it again.

Answer 6

Dee ann I'm in the same boat so to speak. My parents still talk to me but there is no respect. My brothers are lying bastards and have basically poisoned my parents view on my character. I really do care but refuse to let it bother me. I focus on my family now. I would never allow such treatment to go on in my family. Honesty is #1 here! My brothers have never been too keen on honesty. Someday it will catch up to them. I just hope that on that day I'm there to sit in on the repercussions. Terrible waste of time, love, and family. Sad situation. If there is anything I can do, which is probably nothing, just IM me.

Answer 7

Have you approached him and personally asked him yourself??? Are you sure it's you and not something else or issues going on with dad?? No one can give you a good reason because there is NO reason. Like I said, are you sure it is you? If you have NOT done anything (that you are aware of) than DO NOT put yourself through this unnecessary torture. Please confront your father ASAP and TELL (don't ask) him that serious talk is in order. Be mature, calm, cool and collected. Have what you want to say prepared and rehearsed. LISTEN intently, do not interrupt, focus and do not be on the defense. I know you can do it. I have faith in you. Be strong. Please let us (me) know how the "talk" went. Good luck.

Answer 8

Find out why your dad is not talking to you. Life is too short to have important questions like that left unanswered. If he does not answer your phone calls show up at his door and confront him. If nobody can tell you why he hates you I'm sure he can speak for himself and think about it what's the worse that could happen (him not talking to you- which is your current situation)
whatever you do I wish you lots of luck

Answer 9

have you tried contacting your dad? well, for me, it's not so bad, but i definately am the "black sheep". everyone in my family has either a master's or a doctorate, and i dropped out of highschool! my family thinks i'm a moron, and they treat me like a child. it's very aggravating, because i've still been on my own for nearly ten years. and living in relative poverty, i know a lot about survival. and there are a lot of things i have studied, know about, am interested in, but no one in my family really credits me with any real intelligence or cares about what i want to do...

Answer 10

hi, i,m 49 my mum passed away 4 weeks ago, i,m the3rd of 6 children i do know how you feel as mum used to visit the others often but only bothered with me once in 12 years so i would see her at their house or go to hers, i loved her so much and wish i knew why she did not care for me as she did for the others, i really hope you get an answer best of luck from sue Who really know,s how much it hurts,

Answer 11

Have you sat down with him and asked him? I found out after almost twenty years my dad was mad, he thought I run out on him and my mom. He wouldn't understand we needed work, there was none around home. I had a family to raise. I was left without anything. My sisters got over 600 acres in property that's worth millions.
They're both gone now, it's water over the falls. I and my sisters resolved our problems and are once again a family. I don't think about Pa and what he did to me. He had his time, now I have mine. I learned my lesson on life and one more way to treat my family.

Anger and vengence can be like a cancer, it eats the one holding the anger. It builds through time and generates it's own fuel. Let it go and live your life if you can't resolve it. Think of it as what he's missing out on, not what your missing out on.