I saw a question asked earlier and it pissed me off. A lady asked abotu dating as a single parent and a lot of the posts told her she shouldn't worry abotu men. Why not? Is there any reason a parent should have to go through life without the love of another because they have a child? My praents divorced when I was 16. My mom married the guy she left my dad for. My dad has dated numerous women that I have met. I don't talk to most of them now but there are still a few I have very close bonds with. It just irks me that people think single parents should focus on nothing more than being a parent. I thought everyone deserved to be in love.
2007-02-10 23:10:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
And, I can spell about...lol. For some reason everytime I type that word, it ends up a typo.
2007-02-10 23:11:26 · update #1
I'm married to the father of my children, so I'm NOT speaking about myself. I'm talking about single parents in general.
2007-02-11 00:16:14 · update #2
I can't resist I have to answer your question. Unfortunatey I didn't get to marry the father of my daughter. He took a hike when I was 9 week pregnent as soon as I told him and In our defense Birth Control didn't work so the pregnency was a bit of a surprise to both of us. But I still wasn't expecting my high school sweetheart to run like he did...ANYWAY NO I didn't immediately date after she was born cause I was too busy trying to learn how to be a single parent, work a full time job and go to college at the same time. I figured College was my social life. A few years later another High school boyfriend found me and I tried dating, long story short, 3 forms of Birth control didn't work and I had a son and he took a hike. (don't worry I learn my lesson and got fixed) And once again didn't date for awhile.
Well 2 years ago my daughter 6, my son 3, I decided it was time for me to try dating again. Not to find them a dad cause we are happy the way we were without any dads in our lives. I just wanted to try dating. I did internet dating cause I figured if they had a profile on the internet then they at least were smart enough to use a computer. All dates were done while my kids were visiting their grandmother, they were blind dates done during the day in public places and I always drove my own car and never gave out any personal information and always thought of my children's safety first. and never intorduced my kids to the date till I dated them for at least a couple on months and thought of them as friends.
And Now I'm happily married to a wonderful man that adores my kids as his own. My kids love my husband and call him daddy and my daughter just beams with pride when she introduces her daddy to her teachers. So if you restrict single parents from dating it's possible they lose out on a really great parent.
2007-02-11 02:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by serephinadragon 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
The only time i would give the advice for single parents not to date- is if the mom has just had the baby! Or is pregnant. There are lots of girls who get on here pregnant with their first- or just had their first- and they are worried about dating. I just think it's better for the mom and baby- if they take awhile to get adjusted to their new life- and spend time together BEFORE mom starts bringing men into the picture. It only complicates things- i mean dating without kids is complicated enough- let alone with kids. I think you said you have kids- so you remember what a completely life changing event it was when you had your first- do you really think a young guy who isn't the father of the baby is gong to be able to handle that change in a girl he's only been dating for a month or so? Anyways- i was a single mother and dated men - but i waited until my daughter was about 3 before i started. I can only imagine what would have happened had i started dating right after she was born- babies are so much easier to take care of- so it's a different perspective for the guy to come over or go out with you when you're just carrying a sleeping baby all day long- vs a 3 year old who gets into trouble or whines or whatever- you can usually tell real quick what guys were bullshitting when they said, "oh no i don't mind if you have a child-- that's not a problem.. i love kids" ..
2007-02-11 03:15:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is great to date as a single mother. moms just need to be car full and don't bring then child around the person tell you now its for good because you dont want to bring a man in and out of there lifes. NO ONE wants to live there life alone why should single moms have to...most of the time its the man who walks out anyways and the mother is the one who steps up and takes care of the child while the sperm don er is out getting other people pregnant ( not speaking for all men) single parents should be able to feel loved again. I was a single mom tell I met my husband a year ago. Me and my ex husband were together 5 years he cheated and he never sees my 3 yr old son any more. my son loves my husband so much he calls him daddy...my son would have never had a dad if it wasn't for my husband.
2007-02-11 04:16:20 · answer #3 · answered by jenny♥ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I became a single full time dad to two kids under the age of 5. working full-time and being a dad made it tough to date. I did the online personals stuff, and usually dated women without kids who would come over at 8:30p after the kids went to bed or on the weekend when my ex took them. We are talking a couple days a week because somebody still has to clean up after the kids go to bed. After about 3 years I started dating a single mom with one child about the age of my kids. We managed to see each other about twice a week and it was really tough. I actually broke up with her for awhile. Well we are married now and us with the three kids under the roof seems so easy. Good luck!
2016-05-25 10:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not that they shouldnt date....but i dont think kids should KNOW that their parents are dating. 16 is a little different, but younger kids get attached to people very quickly...you dont want to be in a situation where you have to explain to your 5 yr. old that the guy youve been seeing and thought was so sweet stole $ out of your purse to bet at the track.... or worse yet...have a great guy ...who is great to the kids but you want to break up with him and it would break your kids hearts! My ex and I had shared custody when i left him, granted ...this arrangement made dating easy for me! I had the kids 4 nights a week and he had them 3. So i had 3 nights a week i could go out and live it up...and i did! But i never introduced any B/F to my kids unless we had been dating for better than 6 months....the man i am engaged to now ....he didnt meet the kids until we had been dating for 9 months. It really spares the kids ...this is adult stuff that they should not be exposed to.
2007-02-11 02:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by motherhendoulas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some single parents could benefit from holding off on dating for a while. If it is a serious relationship that they are looking for, maby they should give them selves a little down time to reflect on their previous relationship.What didn't work the first time around ? I'm not saying that all single parents have to stop looking. Maybe the first time around they got it all wrong. This time they just may have found(----) right.
2007-02-11 00:23:09 · answer #6 · answered by It's opinion I . 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First let me say I am sorry for all the people that may pick on you for your question.
Most people on here just want to find a reason to say something evil to someone else. Most of the time they probable did not even look that close at the quesiton.
No one should tell anyone else that they should not date just because they have children. It that happen ALOT of us would not ever be leaving our houses.
2007-02-10 23:34:40 · answer #7 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see no problems in single parents dating but what i do see a problem in is someone dating so many men and dragging them in front of their kids and soon as a kid gets use to someone they stop dating them and start with a new one that is what bothers me.
2007-02-11 04:29:57 · answer #8 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Single parents should not date because their child/children have already lost 1 full time parent, they don't need the drama of their parents sex lives. It sexuallizes children and also increases the chance of molestation. If you were a pedophile, who would you date, . .. a single parent w/ children. Plus if you actually marry again, your chances of divorce doubles. Then you child is drug thru 2 failed marriages. It is chaos for the kids, you blew it, raise your kids, when they are 18 go at it - I know this is an "unpopular" answer, b because it is not what "you " want, but it is not about you.
2007-02-11 03:39:27 · answer #9 · answered by kyahooa 1 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Yes, children need their mom and dad. They lost their dad, and if you go looking for a replacement, they'll lose you too. I say, just stick with your children, they NEED that time with you, that you will be spending dating. Think about it. Your single, so you most likely work, so your not a stay at home mom, now on your free time, instead of spending quality time with your children, your dating. The children will miss that time, you will miss that time. I believe once you have children, THEY ARE NOW YOUR LIFE. once they are grown, then you can date again.
Just my (unpopular opinion)
Edit: My post wasn't aimed at you, just a single mom thinking about dating, Props to you for being married to the father.
2007-02-11 00:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋