"I need help I can't trust other guys but my girlfriend thinks that I can't trust her, what do I do???????????

Answer 1

Unfortunately, you're stuck with the existential conundrum of being a guy.

You don't trust other guys, but you can't and shouldn't let her know that . . . because she'll generalise that to herself, or more harmful, it'll make you seem insecure about yourself.

Assuming that she's always been faithful, you just have to accept that she'll go out and meet other guys . . . and that some, but not all, of these guys are just skirt chasing.

BUT ... YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT she's committed to you and won't let others do anything . . .You gotta be confident bro, because seriously, when a relationship is really strong, no other guy can get in between a coupld.

And despite what the stupid media and tele tries to show, most women are and want to be in a MONOGAMOUS loving relationship. Don't worry about books or guys like in 'The Game' . . . because if you have a really strong belief in yourself and your relationship, and you are happy and fun to be with, it is almost impossible for anyone else to move in on your relationship. Trust me on this.

If you do otherwise, she'll accuse you of being controlling, insecure, un-trusting etc etc etc. Basically, all things that WILL actually make her less attracted to you and go with another guy (and some guys WILL use that . . . so don't . . . you have to have a strong inner game).

Doesn't mean that you shouldn't trust your gut instincts or keep a little bit reserved (don't be blind trust . . . if you find love letters from other guys etc etc), but you gotta make sure you never ever let her know that or let her feel that (or she'll accuse you of being controlling etc etc).

My friend had a rule called the rule of reciprocity. So . . . what you should do is be happy with her going out and being a healthy individual. If she doesn't want you around when she's out with the girls, that's fine and good (you guys should spend time apart) . . . BUT you should go out also. . . not out of vindictiveness . . . but because it is healthy for you both to do that. Go out meet friends, meet people, chat, drink and be happy. If she has to meet that old guy ex boyfriend . . . no problem! But if and when (maybe a week or two later) you meet an old female acquantance to have coffee . . .

BUT . . . don't just do it to make her feel bad or get back at her [MOST IMPORTANT]. That is just childish and vindictive and shows insecurity and girls can read that a mile away and it will lead to a tit-for-tat that will cause a breakup. You gotta be chill.

Just go out yourself, be happy, and when you guys are together be happy together also and treat her really really good.

You gotta give her a reason to like being with you! Be a happy, sociable, popular guy . . . not a guy who she thinks is insecure and controlling. That'll make her want you and want to be with you more. This will automatically set up her defences against other guys you can't trust.

Also, this will help you to avoid womanese S*** TESTING . . . sometimes, some women like to test how secure, confident their guys are, by making them jealous etc. I've read a few woman's mags that advise women to do that (treat em mean to keep em keen). That is just manipulative and childish. Don't let that happen. Don't fail the test. Just be confident, chill and lovin' . . . let her test but know that you are her prize just as much as she is yours (as long as you are confident, fun, happy and popular with friends and family etc).

I know it's hard . . . takes alot of self-control . . . but you gotta do it. That's why going out, having a good active social life yourself is also important. Don't be dependant and needy.

Good luck bro!

Answer 2

You don't trust her. I would trust my wife to go to a party with friends even if plenty of single guys are there. I don't care that other guys might hit on her. I know she will turn them down.