2007-02-10 22:23:37 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My significant other who is an RN (nurse) had to finally install her mother and step-mother in nursing homes once they required constant attendance. It was hard doing this because neither of us wanted to do this.
Both had altzheimers and as time progressed they got to a point that we just couldn't deal with it 24/7. Luckily for the old folks that they didn't last long in the nursing home. less than 2 months each.
We took care of her dad, and her mother and step-mother for 7 years on a daily basis, and let me tell ya, it's not fun. But, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
It probably wouldn't have been so hard on us if we'd had help from other family members, but they were unwilling to do anything. All they wanted was the old folks to die so they could get their share of the estates.
What is funny is, my significant other and i, helped draw up the wills to their estates. My Significant other inherited it all. She gave the other family members $10 each period.
2007-02-10 23:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worked in 2 different facilities for the elderly. There are several reasons why people do this. Some have family that are out of state. Some have medical conditions that require 24/7 medical needs. We also provide meals, snacks, exercise, church, rides to and from the doctor with an aide if needed. If they fall there are healthy backs to pick them up if they are not hurt. Emergency responds very quickly knowing we don't just call for treatment on a whim. Some wonder out, we have monitors and alarms with staff monitoring the doors. Sometimes we are their only companion to visit. On holidays residents that are able can be taken home by off duty staff for homemade meals, or any time for that matter. The SPCA comes once a month and brings all kinds of furry friendly pets they adore. Good therapy for them also. Many different situations and reasons for people to go ahead and put loved ones needs first in a home.
2007-02-10 22:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by sue k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not my parents, but my aunt who was 90 with advanced alzheimers. I refused to put her in a home. The way most of them treat the residents is deplorable, and I couldn't do it. I took care of her and I was with her the evening that she passed, at the home she lived in for 50 years. I had some help from the Visiting Nurses Association. They are truly wonderful, and when the time comes they will do hospice care. We are not a rich family, so luckily enough, Social Security Medicare paid for all of it! Just an option for you if you are concerned about the quality of care for your folks. Good luck, and don't worry, you will make the decision that is right for you!
2007-02-11 02:35:08 · answer #3 · answered by ladyscootr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have worked in some very good nursing homes and would not hesitate to send my parents to one if they could no longer look after themselves however you do need to check on the facilities available as there are really good ones and ones that are not so good. As I spend a lot of time working it would not be an option to have anyone live with me as I am not around to care and clean. One of my friends who always vowed she would care for her parents had to pick a home as her father became so forgetful. Her sister was furious and took him home only to return him when he also forgot where the toilet was and used her lounge. It is not a great option but at least it is an option so don't knock it deal with it visit lots and become involved volunteers are always needed for excursions and entertainment activities
2007-02-10 23:18:25 · answer #4 · answered by njss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As I have gotten older and have disabilities, now...I have told my two daughters to , PLEASE, put me in a nursing home when I am no longer manageable. Both my daughters are nurses, but they are busy with their jobs, their families. I do not want to be a burden on my children. I now live with my youngest daughter, in her basement, but if I am aware that the time is right....I will announce to them to find me a nursing home.
2007-02-10 23:39:16 · answer #5 · answered by missellie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is awful and cruel, i used to work in one of them homes and the way they treat the elderly is horrible, i will never do that to my parents and i hope my kids will never do that to me
2007-02-10 22:42:04 · answer #6 · answered by fallen_angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I am from a well off family... my sisters and I will never have to do that.
We will have them live and die in their home...because that's what they want.... They are still in their home and they are 87 years old now.
I feel sorry for those poor old people that have no choice...don't feel bad when you have to...it's very very expensive to keep them home and comfortable.
2007-02-10 22:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by Bobbie4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom died in my arms and my dad is still living. I cant answer the question but I can say this... Enjoy your parent while they are still alive. if you need to send them to an assisted living facility then remember that they still need you to visit..
2007-02-11 00:52:04 · answer #8 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hope i never have to. the only way i would is if they had medical problems that I could not handle.
2007-02-10 22:37:03 · answer #9 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋